[ang8318]

Sure you can. I think most girls/women want to be mothers, if we didn't then I really do not think we would survive as a species. I think that everyone on here has given you good suggestion to fill your time, or the void that you have. If you want to help someone... be a caregiver to an elderly person who is ill. They need you, sometimes they even wear diapers you can change ;) I think that you are right in knowing that now is not the right time for you to have children, and agree that most women do have a desire for children or else no one would have them.

[hollylovesbrandon]

What I'm saying is simply this. You say you have no life now. Well, having a baby doesn't magically give you a life. A baby is not 'something to do'. Babies are MAJOR work and I just feel that you are letting your hormones and normal womanly urges run over you. Do teenage things while you can.

[harleymaxx]

Hi, omg I have just read the few responses and I am amazed. Babies are nothing like puppies. I am sorry and mean no ill to anyone's advice, but that is a ridiculous thing to say to a child that wants a child. But who is to say princess is a child. She may be mature beyond her years and more capable than many of the moronic idiots that are having babies these days.
Also the list of what you should have before having a baby has just amazed me. I am 37 years old, married and have twin two year olds. To society I am the epitome of motherhood, by waiting until I had everything set up perfect before jumping in to have babies. Well this is what happened to me in this order... my mum and I were sharing a house, I met my husband, a month later got pregnant (with twins), we bought a house, got married (yes I had a shotgun wedding and it was not the way that I ever thought my wedding day would be), then 3 weeks later had the babies and all of this occurred within a one year time frame. So who is to say to anyone that you have to be prepared financially, mentally, physically etc. I was 35 when we had our babies and it rocked my world and pushed my marriage, which is amazing to its limits. All this is from someone who waited a long time to start a family. Also this parenting classes thing?? Babies and kids DO NOT COME WITH A MANUAL. If I had a dollar for every time people said that to me I would be a rich woman and I would already have my kids college fund set up!! no one can tell you princess what is right or wrong FOR YOU, but listen to your own advice
My husband and I knew we wanted and were ready for babies the minute we laid eyes on each other, but that is another story. When it came to the crunch it was and is bloody hard work for ANYONE regardless of age, sex, social statis, marital statis, home ownership, etc etc etc.
You will know princess when the time is right for you and only you alone will know this :o)

[DoulaLC]

[QUOTE=harleymaxx;1759751] (yes I had a shotgun wedding and it was not the way that I ever thought my wedding day would be), then 3 weeks later had the babies and all of this occurred within a so who is to say to anyone that you have to be prepared financially, mentally, physically etc. I was 35 when we had our babies and it rocked my world and pushed my marriage, which is amazing to its limits. All this is from someone who waited a long time to start a family. Also this parenting classes thing?? Babies and kids DO NOT COME WITH A MANUAL. QUOTE]


I'm not quite sure why you are so amazed at some of the responses given what you have just said. Would you not have liked to have had the wedding you pictured instead of a shotgun wedding? Sure it may not matter to you at this stage, but it obviously was not what you had thought it would be like.

Do you not think it would be wise for someone to be more financially prepared to support their child well if they could knowing how much it can cost? What about unforeseen medical costs? Yes, people often do seem to find a way to manage, but why wouldn't it be better if they are in a position where they may not have to struggle too much? Do you not think it would be wise for someone to be emotionally ready to deal with the trials and stresses of raising a child? Do you not think it would be wise for a teen to wait until she is older so that she decreases the chances of having physical difficulties for herself, her pregnancy, and her baby if she is able to? Why would these suggestions not make sense if the option is there?

You said at 35 having your babies pushed your marriage to its limits... what do you think it might do for someone much younger or who might not be as prepared as you were?

Yes, babies do not come with manuals, but there are many good parenting classes and books out there that will help people find answers to the many questions they might have. Having some knowledge of infant/child development, as well as expectations in early parenting, will only be an advantage when raising ones own child.

The op has already said she isn't planning to have a child soon, she only wanted to know the best age to have a baby. Opinions were given that there is not an exact age... nothing magic happens when you turn 21, 25, or 30, but we do know that people are in a better position to deal with all that is involved in having and raising a child when they are in a better place financially, emotionally, and physically.

[ScottGem]

hi, omg i have just read the few responses and i am amazed. babies are nothing like puppies. i am sorry and mean no ill to anyones advice, but that is a ridiculous thing to say to a child that wants a child.

No babies are nothing like puppies. But for someone too young to have a baby, but who wants something to care for, love and love back a puppy is a viable substitute.

but who is to say princess is a child. she may be mature beyond her years and more capable than many of the moronic idiots that are having babies these days.

She could be. But then again she may not. The odds are she isn't. So to play safe the best advice was to wait.

also the list of what you should have before having a baby has just amazed me. i am 37 years old, married and have twin two year olds. to society i am the epitome of motherhood, by waiting until i had everything set up perfect before jumping in to have babies. well this is what happened to me in this order...my mum and i were sharing a house, i met my husband, a month later got pregnant (with twins), we bought a house, got married (yes i had a shotgun wedding and it was not the way that i ever thought my wedding day would be), then 3 weeks later had the babies and all of this occurred within a one year time frame. so who is to say to anyone that you have to be prepared financially, mentally, physically etc. i was 35 when we had our babies and it rocked my world and pushed my marriage, which is amazing to its limits. all this is from someone who waited a long time to start a family.

Your own experience supports the advice you put down. If you got married, bought a house and had the kids all within in a year, then you were obviously financially ready. At 35 you were clearly physically ready. Emotionally is something only you know.

also this parenting classes thing???? babies and kids DO NOT COME WITH A MANUAL. if i had a dollar for every time people said that to me i would be a rich woman and i would already have my kids college fund set up!!!no one can tell you princess what is right or wrong FOR YOU, but listen to your own advice

No kids don't come with a manual, but parenting classes DO help. The more prepared one is, the better they will manage. You spoke earlier of the "moronic idiots having babies these days", don't you think they might be less moronic is they did more to prepare themselves?

my husband and i knew we wnated and were ready for babies the minute we laid eyes on each other, but that is another story. when it came to the crunch it was and is bloody hard work for ANYONE regardless of age, sex, social statis, marital statis, home ownership, etc etc etc.

This is true, but again, the more prepared one is the better it will be for the entire family.

you will know princess when the time is right for you and only you alone will know this :o)

Excuse my french, but that is crap. This whole thing about magically knowing when the time is right is mostly myth. Children don't have the experience to judge the feelings they encounter. They can easily mistake and usually do, the feelings they have going through puberty, adolescence etc for something that its not.

Princess got a lot of good advice in this thread, I'm sorry, but your post isn't part of that.

[J_9]

she may be mature beyond her years and more capable than many of the moronic idiots that are having babies these days.

Mentally and emotionally maybe, but I doubt it reading her other posts. But PHYSICALLY she is not ready. There are some severe consequences that go along with having a baby when one is still a "baby." Some of these consequences are life threatening for both mother and child.

[harleymaxx]

I didn't think I was giving advice I was merely stating my opinion as I was rather taken aback by the list of credentials I read that we all should have before embarking on parenthood. I had none of those things when I got pregnant apart from the age thing, and no we were not financially secure and we still aren't especially in this day and age of recession, but my kids never go without and making do might mean that my husband and I forgo our weekly romantic dinner and eat at home instead.
Risks are involved for ANY woman when they carry babies regardless of age. Carrying twins was torturous on my body down to the fact I had a blood transfusion after they were born so if girls are too young to have babies then who is to say that I am too old as we are having another set of twins next year. The debate is endless. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it's a very passionate topic.
I don't condone kids having kids definitely not, but I also don't believe that there should be a "credentials list" to say when a couple is ready. There is no manual like I said, but there is also no checklist or perfect time or perfect age. But kids having kids.. no they are not emotionally developed enough. What woman is when it comes to being a mum?

[ScottGem]

i didn't think i was giving advice i was merely stating my opinion as i was rather taken aback by the list of credentials i read that we all should have before embarking on parenthood. i had none of those things when i got pregnant apart from the age thing, and no we were not financially secure and we still arent especially in this day and age of recession, but my kids never go without and making do might mean that my husband and i forgo our weekly romantic dinner and eat at home instead.
risks are involved for ANY woman when they carry babies regardless of age. carrying twins was torturous on my body down to the fact i had a blood transfusion after they were born so if girls are too young to have babies then who is to say that i am too old as we are having another set of twins next year. the debate is endless. everyone is entitled to an opinion, its a very passionate topic.
i dont condone kids having kids definately not, but i also dont beleive that there should be a "credentials list" to say when a couple is ready. there is no manual like i said, but there is also no checklist or perfect time or perfect age. but kids having kids....? no they are not emotionally developed enough. what woman is when it comes to being a mum?

It seems you completely misunderstood what people were saying. No when said "financially secure", they said financially READY. This means having a source of income so that your kids don't go hungry or uncared for. There is a difference.

And what is wrong with preparedness? What people said here were guidelines to consider. They were not hard and fast rules or a checklist where each item must be checked before you take action. That most people, consciously or unconsciously go through that checklist before having a child. Most people wait until they are married where the spouse has a decent job and they have a home with room for the child. This is a perfectly natural thing.

If you viewed the advice here as telling anyone that they must make sure they have all "credentials" before having a baby, then you read it very wrong.

[Princess-IMYM]

Well!
This is a bit insulting.
Calling me a child I mean, you can't really decide if I'm mature for my age through my posts, so don't go calling me "mature for my age" or "Immature" it makes me vexed.
I like to think I'm mature for my age, I have to be, I stopped being child-like long ago so I could be more responsible for my brother.
Just so you know.
I know a puppy is nothing like a baby, I'm not an imbecile, but I know what people mean by the loving thing however it isn't what I want, I can't explain what I want properly so I won't.

[shazamataz]

hi, omg I have just read the few responses and I am amazed. Babies are nothing like puppies. I am sorry and mean no ill to anyone's advice, but that is a ridiculous thing to say to a child that wants a child.

Brilliant deduction... that's right puppies have 4 legs not two.

:: slaps forehead ::

Silly me.

There were reasons this an other things were suggested so I'd say you haven't read the entire thread.

Also I think that last part says it all really
"A child, who wants a child"

[Princess-IMYM]

Again, calling me a child...

[Alty]

Well!
This is a bit insulting.
Calling me a child I mean, you can't really decide if I'm mature for my age through my posts, so don't go calling me "mature for my age" or "Immature" it makes me vexed.
I like to think I'm mature for my age, I have to be, I stopped being child-like long ago so I could be more responsible for my brother.
Just so you know.
I know a puppy is nothing like a baby, I'm not an imbecile, but I know what people mean by the loving thing however it isnt what I want, I can't explain what I want properly so I won't.

Princess, I haven't piped in because frankly, I think this whole thread is "I'm bored and want attention", but in case it isn't, I'll add my two cents.

You are a child, like it or not. Your brain isn't even finished developing, you're a teen, not an adult, therefore, yup, child. You don't have to like being called that anymore then I like being called middle aged, but it is what it is.

You can have all the maturity in the world, but that doesn't mean you're ready to be a parent. Unless you can support yourself and a baby without any help from anyone, then you aren't ready.

This isn't a doll, you can't have it and then decide you don't want to play anymore. This is 24/7 for the rest of your life. At your age you aren't ready to think long term, you're just thinking of now, not later. Another reason you're a child.

You can't explain what you want? Do you know what I hear when I read that sentence? I want, I want, I want. What about the baby and what it wants and needs?

It's not all about you, that's something you'll learn when you're older.

[Princess-IMYM]

Lord, I did say I know I'm not ready for one right?
I was bored and wanted to know range age that people found it acceptable to have a baby, since my mam's friend came over with her son.
I know I'm not devoloped properly, and you're probably right about the maturity thing. I'm just pondering why people are still getting at me when I have already said I will NOT be having one any time soon.

[shazamataz]

Again, calling me a child...

Umm excuse me?
If you will notice I had not quoted you, I quoted somebody else...
You will find I was nice to you at the start of this thread or have you forgotten that already.

[Princess-IMYM]

I was referring to the person who said the quote, sorry for the misunderstanding and I'm sorry I may have insulted you, I didn't mean it that way, I am grateful for your contribution to this thread. :)

[Alty]

Because you started this thread and made it sound like you wanted a child now. Read what you wrote Princess, if it was someone else what would you think?

What you have to realize is that we see this every day. Teens coming here because they want to have a baby, some of them willing to do anything it takes, including tricking their boyfriends, just to get what they want.

If you had just wanted opinions you wouldn't have started this thread with "I'm 16 and really want a baby". That was an alarm that you set off and we responded accordingly.

Think about it, read what you wrote, how would you have responded?

You know me, we've talked before. I don't sugar coat things, I call them as I see them, and all I see here is trouble with a capital T.

Finish school, get a good job, your own place to live, someone that you care about and that cares about you in return. Wait until you're older, then have a child. There is no "perfect" age, it depends on the couple.

Trust me, having a child is not all gits and shiggles. They don't stay babies forever, they have minds of their own and at times they will drive you insane. How can a teen hope to deal with all of that when most adults can't, and yes, you are a teen, to us you're still a child, heck, I'm old enough to be your mom, of course you're a child to me. ;)

Think about what I said. I'm not against you, none of us are, we're just trying to shed some light on this before you end up in the dark. Understand?

[Princess-IMYM]

Oh no I know what you're saying, also you've come up with some of the best answers to my threads :) I realize what messages it could send, but I did correct it (somewhat) by saying over and over that I wasn't going to have one now, however most seemed to have missed that message.
I want to finish school and go to university so I can get a well paid job so I can give my child the best I can give (Without spoiling it.)
I read parenting books when I see them; I LOVE to be prepared for things, anything, a baby isn't going to change that, but I know it'll be harder.
I guess I also thought it was weird that I wanted a baby now because anyone else my age that I ask all say "Urgh I hate babies, I'm never having them"

[Alty]

Oh no I know what you're saying, also you've come up with some of the best answers to my threads :) I realize what messages it could send, but I did correct it (somewhat) by saying over and over that I wasn't going to have one now, however most seemed to have missed that message.
I want to finish school and go to university so I can get a well payed job so I can give my child the best I can give (Without spoiling it.)
I read parenting books when I see them; I LOVE to be prepared for things, anything, a baby isn't going to change that, but I know it'll be harder.
I guess I also thought it was weird that I wanted a baby now because anyone else my age that I ask all say "Urgh I hate babies, I'm never having them"

It's not weird that you want a baby, not at all. I was the same way, couldn't wait to have kids. I was 27 when I got pregnant with my son. He was planned in every way. Both hubby and I had good jobs, we had our own house, two cars, a dog (he was my test baby) everything.

We tried for 7 months with him, then hubby lost his job and we put it on hold, too late, I was already pregnant. Less then a month after I found out I was pregnant the company I worked for bought out another company and 1000's of employess were laid off, I was one of them. I had my job until the end of that year but took maternity leave in late August. It was rough.

We did everything right, planned it all out and still...

There's no perfect time to have a child. My mother-in-law used to tell us to wait until we were debt free and had a huge savings account. If I had waited for that I still wouldn't have kids. ;)

What I'm trying to say is, it's never easy, but there are times when it's easier. When you're a teen, no matter how mature you are, you really aren't ready to be a mom. Can it work, yes, but you and the baby will suffer, that's just a fact.

I'm glad you're waiting, because that does show maturity. One day, many, many years from now (hinting) you will have the child you want so much, and you'll be really happy that you waited, trust me. :)

[J_9]

risks are involved for ANY woman when they carry babies regardless of age.

I take it you are a nurse in obstetrics as I am? Yes, risks are inherent for any age, they are just greater for teens. The teen body is not physically nor chemically ready to carry a child.

Oh no I know what you're saying, also you've come up with some of the best answers to my threads :) I realize what messages it could send, but I did correct it (somewhat) by saying over and over that I wasn't going to have one now, however most seemed to have missed that message.
I want to finish school and go to university so I can get a well payed job so I can give my child the best I can give (Without spoiling it.)
I read parenting books when I see them; I LOVE to be prepared for things, anything, a baby isn't going to change that, but I know it'll be harder.
I guess I also thought it was weird that I wanted a baby now because anyone else my age that I ask all say "Urgh I hate babies, I'm never having them"

I certainly haven't missed your message. Basically you were asking what age one is physically ready to have a child.

While others responded with the finances and whatnot, I responded with the physical/medical reasons one should not have a child.

My most recent response was not directed at you, it was directed at another poster, and I apologize if you misunderstood.

[Princess-IMYM]

I heard that having a baby younger reduces risks though? And that the older you are the more likely something goes wrong.