[1chickadee]

So there is this guy I like and he just recently asked me out. He is the kind of guy that progresses faster. He keeps saying that he is going to kiss me and the other night he attempted one, but I told him that I wasn't ready. I really like him but I'm afraid that if I do kiss him then he may get the wrong idea about me and start thinking of doing other things which I totally don't want to happen. I did promise to him though that I eventually would let him when I was ready. We have been going out for about a week secretly so there is no one that I can ask for advice on, so I decided to post it on here to see what advice I can receive from here. I want to kiss him but I don't want him progressing more into thinking that I will allow him to do other things.
So from what I've said, what amount of time do you think that I should wait to kiss him, like how long is it normal to wait before you kiss one?

[Bluerose]

To begin with, why is it a secret? And if you are not ready to take it any further make that very clear and don't be pushed into anything you'll regret. You really need to find someone you can trust to discuss this with. You will need the support of a friend right now. Emotions may well run high but stand your ground. You'll know when you are ready - not him. And if he is a decent guy he'll wait.

[ScottGem]

First, how old are you (and him)? Second, I echo bluerose's question about secrecy. If you have to hide the fact that you are dating, you shouldn't be dating.

If you aren't ready for kissing, then you probably aren't ready for dating. There is nothing wrong with a good night kiss or holding hands when dating.

But, you should NEVER do anything with a boy that you are not comnfortable doing. If the boy will not accept that, then he's not worth dating.

Nor should you make promises to a boy about doing things. If a boy tries to do something that you are uncomfortable with you just tell him that you are not ready for such things and firmly tell him to STOP.

[1chickadee]

I am comfortable with it I'm just not exactly ready. I think its too soon. And its only a secret because its fun to keep it one and the fact that he and I will get made fun of for no reason. He is my ex boyfriend and due to people around us talking about us made both of us uncomfortable so we broke up. But then we both realized we still liked each other so we got back together but decide that its better that no one knows except for our parents who are fine with it. I'm 18 and he just turned 19 and he is fine with me not kissing him for now, but I kind of feel like I have let him down a bit. I don't know though. And we both are ready for dating each other again which is why we are.

[talaniman]

Make your feelings known, and stick to them, but what I don't understand is the fear of what others will say, what's up with that?

You should both be setting the boundaries of this relationship, if he can't handle just kissing, WHEN YOUR READY he isn't the one for you.

[1chickadee]

Hmm I didn't think of it that way. You make a good point. I will remember that. Thanks for your help.

Thanks to you all!

[ScottGem]

Frankly, the secrecy and being made fun of at your ages doesn't make sense. But really I see nothing wrong with a good night kiss at all. At your ages I don't see anything wrong with a little of what us codgers used to call "necking" which was basically just kissing even up to passionate kissing.

Also you said you had just begun dating, yet you say he is your ex boyfriend. Do you mean just begun dating him or just begun dating period?

[liz28]

If you don't think the two of you are ready to date then why date? Makes no sense.

[1chickadee]

He was my ex boyfriend and then we started dating again just recently because we both believe that we are more ready for a relationship this time around. Things are definitely working out better this time around.

Sorry for not explaining myself better the first time around

[Bluerose]

You both come across as very young and very immature and not ready for a real relationship.