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shazamataz · May 14, 2009, 05:10 AM

The future of nursery rhyme

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It's Raining, It's Pouring
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.

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Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.

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Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay.

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Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her @ss
Now two of his teeth are missing.

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Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

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Sad but true :D

tickle · May 14, 2009, 05:25 AM

Shazzy, are you bored ?

artlady · May 14, 2009, 05:32 AM

Cute Shazzy!A good way to begin the day,on the lighthearted side:)

shazamataz · May 14, 2009, 06:58 AM

Haha yes tickle, my mum just sent me those so I thought I'd share :D

Catsmine · May 14, 2009, 07:06 AM

Oh, my poor childhood illusions!

Shaz, do you know how much it hurts to crumble?

oscarlicous · May 14, 2009, 08:11 AM

I like the last jack and jill one! There are all so cute. Good job a making somebody happy on this crappy day in Indiana shazamataz

tickle · May 14, 2009, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Haha yes tickle, my mum just sent me those so I thought I'd share :D

:rolleyes: shaz, I really did like them, but you know me, I shoot from the hip. When my son was small (he will be 27 on Sunday by the way, the love my life) his fave was saggy baggy elephant, does your mom have one for him?

Tell you a teary story. I read in a mag once a woman wondering if she should have children, her friend said, no, not unless you want you heart walking outside your body for the rest of your life.

Hug

Catsmine · May 14, 2009, 11:12 AM

I stole "global warming". It works when you tell it aloud, too.

88sunflower · May 14, 2009, 11:59 AM

OMG! Those are the funniest ever. Thanks for that laugh today Shaz!

liz28 · May 14, 2009, 02:44 PM

I hope my daughter don't get find these. My 5 month old son got a lot to forward to. Hehe

twinkiedooter · May 15, 2009, 04:02 PM

Those were cute Shazzy! I liked them all.

shazamataz · May 16, 2009, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by tickle

:rolleyes: shaz, i really did like them, but you know me, I shoot from the hip. When my son was small (he will be 27 on Sunday by the way, the love my life) his fave was saggy baggy elephant, does your mom have one for him?

Tell you a teary story. I read in a mag once a woman wondering if she should have children, her friend said, no, not unless you want you heart walking outside your body for the rest of your life.

hug

Hehehe thanks guys, I hoped you would get a laugh out of them :D

Tick! That was my favourite book when I was little too! I knew the whole book off by heart! Ahh the memories :)