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    iamcrazy4love's Avatar
    iamcrazy4love Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 13, 2009, 06:00 AM
    What to do when my ex-boyfriend is blackmailing/threatening me
    Hi everyone,

    I was dating my ex-b/f before marriage and we were going strong. But there was one major problem he was married already with 2 kids. I know it was a big mistake and this would not have happened but somehow we were dating. Nobody knew in our families except for both of us. After a while, we both came to a midterm saying this cannot workout so by mutual understanding I started dating others and met my husband and we got married. After getting married my ex-b/f was still in contact and everything was going well except for onething he wanted me to still talk to him about sex. I didn't want to do this because I thought this is not right. So he got annoyed and he has started threatening me now that he would send my pictures (which I had sent during our relationship) to my husband and to my family. He is overseas now. I have briefly told about this to my husband but he does not know that we were dating and we were romantically involved (BUT NO SEX). As per my husband's suggestion, I have changed my cell phone number now and waiting for a while to change the home phone number as well. But I am worried whether he will get mad because of this and would try to harm me by sending those photos to my husband? Please advice.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    May 13, 2009, 06:08 AM

    So can you tell him that if he even contacts you again you will tell his wife that he is a cheater and tell her he has pictures of you?
    iamcrazy4love's Avatar
    iamcrazy4love Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 13, 2009, 06:12 AM

    No I don't think so. Nobody knows except for both of us. But I have told his wife that he is still trying to call me. We were good friends for sometime and she promised me that he will never call. But he is still...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    May 13, 2009, 06:15 AM

    Then you need to tell her again that he is still harassing you. How is he getting your number if you changed it?
    iamcrazy4love's Avatar
    iamcrazy4love Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 13, 2009, 06:17 AM

    Now he does not have my new number but that's what I am worried about. Whether he will get mad because he is not able to reach me and try to harm me in anyway.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    May 13, 2009, 06:22 AM

    Why is it a problem to tell your husband that you were seeing this guy xx months before you got with him?
    You said he is overseas. Is that the ex that is overseas?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    May 13, 2009, 06:44 AM

    What's the problem in telling your husband the truth, I think the truth is the only way out of this mess you are in. if you take the bullets out of the ex's gun, no harm can happen to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    May 13, 2009, 07:20 AM

    If he calls again, and threatens you, just cuss his azz out, and tell him to leave you alone, or else you tell his wife everything.

    What's so hard about that? You're the one living in fear, and letting him exploit it.

    If you are so afraid, then start by being honest with yourself, and your husband, and then when you don't have anything to hide, he has no power over your fear.

    Your problem is with yourself, not him.
    Fuzzball_Kara's Avatar
    Fuzzball_Kara Posts: 279, Reputation: 74
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    #9

    May 13, 2009, 07:29 AM

    You need to spill it. If you're afraid he will do something then you have to tell your husband and his wife everything, or no one will know what kind of trouble you could be in. If you think he might hurt you, you've got to tell someone that can protect you
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #10

    May 13, 2009, 07:34 AM

    Honestly, the answer is simple.

    Sounds like there is more to this question and that there was more going on that you believe he can blackmail you with.

    STOP ALL CONTACT with the ex. Focus on your life with your husband.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #11

    May 13, 2009, 08:32 AM

    If everything fails then he leave you no choice but to go to the cops. This way you can get a restraining order.

    Also, you said you told your husband about him. If you never stepped out of your marriage with this guy then how can he blackmail you? If he has picturs of you from the past, oh well, it is the past. So if you was honest with your husband I wouldn't get stressed out over this.

    Is this guy in the army? Because I am sure he wouldn't want you to contact them about his conduct. This would be the last option.

    I must admit that this guy is just crazy or your just leaving out some major details. Something doesn't add up.
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