[kayswhitten]

I've been out of the loop on current dating trends for decades now. But, now that my good looking son is 16, girls are constantly hitting on him. I should add that he has led a rather sheltered life up to now - we live in the country, where he has one best friend, and he's also attended a private Christian school with class sizes of 10 or less, for 10 years. This year, his sophomore yr. he decided he'd like to try public school and he has had a nearly perfect transition. However, things like school dances and Homecoming are almost foreign to him.

He'd prefer to ask for his own dates, however a senior he has known for a few years, and who is quite respectable, asked him to Homecoming, and he accepted her invitation.

The question is, what is he expected to pay for? We're a little uncomfortable with having a young lady pay for a date, but I realize we are "old school" and things are quite different now, even among conservatives like ourselves. They are going out to a restaurant before the dance, and after the dance will go to an all-night restaurant like Perkins. They are currently planning to split the cost of the tickets and the pictures. I think my son should pay for the meals, but his date is willing to help out with these also.

And... when he orders the corsage should he order himself a boutonniere. As well?

I would appreciate some advice from parents who are more rurally located, like ourselves. Thank you so much.

[s_cianci]

Going halfers on everything is probably the best idea. And no, she should order him the boutonniere and present him with it just like he'll present her with the corsage that he orders.

[blondieinCAN]

I am a 22 year old girl and I say that it would be nice for him to pay for the meal, and no he doesn't get his own boutennier. If she and him are going halfers on the rest I think she's done her part. I think its respectable for her to offer but I know my boyfriend always paid for things for me when we were together. I had enough to pay for worrying about things he never noticed that I'd do for him!

[valinors_sorrow]

General rule of thumb -- who asks is considered the host/hostess and pays for the evening - tickets, meals, ammenities like photos, etc. However that is not extended to clothing rentals or personal purchases like flowers as gifts. Gifts are paid for by the giver. Clothing purchases or rentals are paid by the wearer. If the young people want to negotiate a split down the middle arrangement for the evening's expenses, more power to them. However I would not expect that practice to carry over into adulthood where the means to foot the entire bill becomes more possible and, I think, expected.