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A4Effort · May 10, 2009, 08:49 AM

Quick Background info:
I am a male in his early twenties. I am very active and participate in many sports and activities (biking, hiking, soccer, etc... ) I weigh around 155 lbs and am 5'11" tall.

Problem: I have been battling with body image for a while. I used to weigh ~170+ lbs in high school and was semi-chubby. I realized I did not want to look like this so I started running and eating healthier and got down to ~140 lbs (7% body fat). I felt really good about myself. Now in college I started feeling insecure again because now I do not have large muscles. My body type is average (not skinny). My lower body is very well developed but my arms are just average. I decided to start lifting weights to increase my muscle mass. I started eating again to gain weight so that my body had something to feed off as I worked. I increased my caloric intake, etc... Then school happened and I became overwhelmed with school and my 3 supporting jobs. Now I gain roughly 10+lbs back and haven't stuck with my working out. I am really insecure with how my body looks now even though I do not believe that I am overweight. I feel as if my body image has been affected by the people surrounding me, my own self, and the media. I want to have a bigger upper body and do not want to be in the shape I am in. I also do not want to play into any male stereotypes regarding how a man should look but I also feel very uncomfortable when I see some guy my age/height jacked. I feel as if I need to be his size or bigger.

Can someone set me straight? I am just lost and I want to start feeling good about my body again.

JudyKayTee · May 10, 2009, 09:51 AM

This may or may not help you. I've dated men who were underweight, overweight and just right. They were all confident with themselves and their bodies.

Insecurity is like a flashing light. You have to find some way to take pride in what you are, where you are, and stop worrying about your body image and how you appear to other people.

Now the question is - how? I'll leave that to the experts.

A4Effort · May 10, 2009, 09:57 AM

I feel as if no matter how I look, I will always think I need to look better.

JudyKayTee · May 10, 2009, 10:04 AM

Long story short - had a roommate back in the day in NY. She was always uncomfortable with her looks. She was also drop dead gorgeous, a fairly successful model. Anyway, she went to Mexico to have her butt tightened. I have no idea why and no one in the US would do it.

She aspirated and died on the operating table.

If she had not died she would probably be having plastic surgery several times a year because she had such a poor body image.

I think just about everyone looks at herself/himself and sees areas that could be improved.

You have to focus on the good things, not on the (maybe) bad things.