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ajGambino · May 9, 2009, 07:54 PM

I thought about writing a bunch of things in a notebook to see all the bad things he/she did to make the breakup, positive in a way. I want to hear everyone's reasons you getting dumped turned out better for you. I beileve this will be positive for me and the others that are going through the rough time.

Give me stuff he/she'd keep you from, wouldn't let you do, etc.

I'll start:

1: She would always get mad at me and make me feel bad for not going to sleep the time she did. What do you expect, she works at 8:30am and my shift starts at 12pm. Well, don't have to put up with that anymore.

Please, continue.

artlady · May 9, 2009, 08:03 PM

There are so many ,it is hard to begin.
I am free of judgment,abuse,harassment,anger,tension,confusion.
I have not even been in that kind of junk for years but I remember it felt like crap.
I did not answer specifically but I know that when you free yourself of something that is painful ,the only place you can go is up!

ajGambino · May 9, 2009, 08:32 PM

Oh man, she was always abusive to me (verbally). Telling me that my life is going nowhere, I need to start doing this and that to not be a loser, etc.

She was even abusive to my things. Whenever she was mad and said hurtful things, I showed that I wouldn't be out of control like she was, so that made her even more angry. She's destroyed my XBOX360 cords, punctured my door, really bad scratches (that scarred) she gave to me.

Man... what the freak is wrong with me? -_-'

ISneezeFunny · May 9, 2009, 09:43 PM

It's good that you're trying to move on... what makes it BETTER is if you think about the pros of being dumped in the way of looking forward, not backwards.

So instead of looking back and thinking, "I'm glad I'm not with her because...she did this and that..." it's better if you think, "Well, I'm glad I'm single because now, I can do this!"

For example:

While I was in a relationship, I had gotten a bit complacent about my body... went out to eat a lot with her, spent a lot of time with her, which meant my life consisted of school, work, and her. No gym time. Once I was single, I went to the gym CONSTANTLY, cooked healthy meals for myself, etc.

This leads to my number 2... more money! Whoo! No more taking her out to dinner, no more gifts, no more paying for her, etc. MONEY!

#3: more time for myself. To read books, to work out, to listen to music, to watch movies, etc.

#4: more time for friends.

#5: let's face it... more time for other women.

#6: more time to focus on what's really important... such as school, work, etc.

So basically, it comes down to... more time, money, and virtually no drama.

Nestorian · May 9, 2009, 10:52 PM

I miss my ex even though it's been 3 years almost now...

Though I admite there was a lot of frustrating things she did, I'm sure I was no better. She is only human as am I.

I agree with Isneezefunny. Look to what you can do, now here, not what you disliked back then, and not to things that are too far off for you to gain any real gratification any time soon. In other words, live in the moment. Enjoy life, and learn to Forgive yourself, love yourself, know yourself, and be yourself.

I like to look at the sky and take in the breath taking sights it reveals to me.

I enjoy looking at various things like a tree top and imagining what I look like from that spot, or what the sight would be like from there, or how it would feel to be on a building side in a/on a corner, kind of like spiderman.

I also wonder what other critters think/feel.

I try to relate myself to all things around me.

I especially like looking at the stars at night and just wonderting what was happening while the light from those stars that is just hitting my eyes, was traveling. It's like looking into the past millions of years into the past.

I also like to play my guitar, and such.

Peace be with you.

ajGambino · May 10, 2009, 12:34 AM

Originally Posted by Nestorian

I miss my ex even though it's been 3 years almost now...

I hope to God I do not take that long.

Romefalls19 · May 10, 2009, 06:17 AM

- My gym time increased
- Didn't have to watch how much I lift at the gym because she didn't like how much I would lift.
- I can now watch UFC when I want to, and now I can do it with my fiancé because she enjoys it.
- Can play my xbox without being flipped out on

There are far more

kctiger · May 10, 2009, 08:46 AM

LINK

Here is a link to a post a had awhile back titled, "The Joys of Being Single." It is a fairly decent thread and also some good entertaining responses in there. Similar to what you are doing with this thread.

liz28 · May 10, 2009, 09:11 AM

I learned that you learn something from every relationship. And in the end "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger".

Nestorian · May 10, 2009, 01:06 PM

Oh Liz, you crack me up, haha. I love to play the drums on rock band, very fun, and fairly realistic too.

I do like the guitar too, but I prefer the real deal to the rock band.

I tried to give you rep, but it wouldn't let me so I'll just add I agree with your quote.

P.S. I do miss that girlish curves, and smooth body. The soothing sounds she can make when she is pleased. Yep, I sure miss playing my guitar. ;)
It's a black Walden, good guitar to start with.

talaniman · May 10, 2009, 02:58 PM

Your free to explore other options, and opportunities.

ajGambino · May 10, 2009, 03:19 PM

All good and positive things to consider, I appreciate everyone's input.

- I get to spend more time on my friends and videogames.

chuff · May 10, 2009, 05:48 PM

More time to spend at AMHD.com!

ajGambino · May 11, 2009, 12:23 AM

Originally Posted by chuff

More time to spend at AMHD.com!

I spend more time on this site then any other since the breakup. Lot's of helpful information can be read here. This site keeps me from contacting her, I'm not going to lie. I think about it, force myself to stop thinking about it and hop on this site.

chuff · May 11, 2009, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

I spend more time on this site then any other since the breakup. Lot's of helpful information can be read here. This site keeps me from contacting her, I'm not going to lie. I think about it, force myself to stop thinking about it and hop on this site.

Trust me, coming here will make you stronger and give you a pathway to being better, and not just in relationships but in life. You just have to stay focused and positive.

ajGambino · May 11, 2009, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

Trust me, coming here will make you stronger and give you a pathway to being better, and not just in relationships but in life. You just have to stay focused and positive.

I am trying my hardest, I really am. I hate feeling like this so breaking NC will start me right at the beginning. I know it isn't long since, but what seems like forever is going to be too much for me to go through this twice.

chuff · May 11, 2009, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

I am trying my hardest, I really am. I hate feeling like this so breaking NC will start me right at the beginning. I know it isn't long since, but what seems like forever is going to be too much for me to go through this twice.

Ask yourself what's more important. Yourself respect forever or one fleeting moment to speak with that she'll know you need to speak with her and it will turn out bad anyway.

Ask yourself what would the you from one year from now tell you about your inner strength and how great it feels that you held strong.

It's funny because at times you think it will never end, and then at some point you notice, "hey I haven't thought about her for awhile, and I didn't even notice."

ajGambino · May 11, 2009, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

Ask yourself what's more important. Your self respect forever or one fleeting moment to speak with that she'll know you need to speak with her and it will turn out bad anyway.

Ask yourself what would the you from one year from now tell you about your inner strength and how great it feels that you held strong.

It's funny because at times you think it will never end, and then at some point you notice, "hey I haven't thought about her for awhile, and I didn't even notice."

You're right man, you're absolutely right. I need to stand my ground and keep rebuilding myself. Chuff, you're a huge lift man, I can't thank you enough for constantly helping me. Thank everybody, this site is great.

chuff · May 11, 2009, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

You're right man, you're absolutely right. I need to stand my ground and keep rebuilding myself. Chuff, you're a huge lift man, I can't thank you enough for constantly helping me.

Not a problem, I've been there myself and I know it sucks, so never think this is something nobody can relate to or your by yourself in this.

Originally Posted by ajGambino

Thank everybody, this site is great.

Follow everything you learn on this site in the future and I can't promise a lifetime relationship, but you will know "the rules" of a relationship, you'll be stronger, and you'll be in control. You can learn so much here that in the end you'll actually be saying the pain was worth it because you got a life lesson that you never would have got before.

ajGambino · May 11, 2009, 10:11 PM

Yeah, this is definitely the longest life lesson I've ever had to learn and still learning with a long way to go. This site has opened up a lot of positive things of being dumped. When I was down, I typed in "how to deal with a breakup."

I didn't know I was going to find people who had been there, all supportive to help me out. This is by far the best thing to run into during my breakup, you guys are awesome. I've never viewed life like this before, what it actually was to be happy. I'm looking forward to seeing that one day.