[I wish]

I know this probably falls under the "get a new hobby" section but I thought I would share...

I bought a guitar this weekend and have started writing music again. Its a great way to channel emotions and grow to learn and develop talent. Any type of musical instrument is reccomended for those that may have considered it. just a thought...

Thanks for sharing Newguy2009! This is exactly the type of success story we like to hear.

Music is definitely a great hobby.

*Thanks for all the votes so far, the poll is starting to take some shape!

[bluemonster]

Instead of contacting, writing it down is an excellent solution.
Or you could write it as an email and send it to yourself, or save it as a draft.
Then come back to it in a couple of days or a week later and when you re-read it you won't want to send it.

(but make sure its your name in the send field before you start writing an email. You do NOT want an accidental send!).

At least that is how I have dealt with it before and I found the frequency fades with time.
Though sometimes I still write them but just consider it a kind of diary of my thoughts.

Hope that helps
:o)

[racquel58]

I have to say for me, I have to delete all phone number and email addresses etc etc. It just sucks for me if I actually remember them =oS. I also try to block them from contacting me. Not because I think they will, but because then I won't drive myself insane constantly checking to see if they have contacted me!

In my latest instances I am considering deleting and blocking everyone that is affiliated with said people.

I also like to read the advice on these forums. And research other cases like mine so that I can see I am doing the right thing! Often I doubt myself.

when one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend, she actually chewed the phone card and threw it at his house. That had some sort of therapeutic assistance to her!

[hidden123]

I've done the writing down thing.. it definitely helps.. just to curb that urge...

[I wish]

The most important part is to find what works for you in order to curb the urges.

It's about will power.

We want to avoid any setbacks in the recovery process.

[rxnarunner]

I am trying the no contact. But I'm not sure where we stand. I'm miserable though. Can't eat... dread falling asleep because then I have to wake up and that feeling of we broke up hits me. I'm having a hard time functioning

[peekcachu]

Its been two months and I'm still feeling like it was the first day. :(

[I wish]

Its been two months and I'm still feeling like it was the first day. :(

Don't need to put a timeline. It might get worse before it gets better. But once it reaches it worst, then it will only get easier from there.

Check out the other thread about the "meaning of no contact" and check out what stage you're at.

Just focus on moving forward, as opposed to breaking the rules and resetting the progress.

[Coffee Pot]

It seems like one of the hardest parts about NC is the small tidbits. I will sometimes think I am doing so well because I haven't talked to her in 2 months, but that doesn't change the fact that I am still doing the little things to get information about her. A lot of times I won't even know I am doing it. I'll sign into Facebook and realize I am looking at people's pages seeing if she replied. I'll talk to a friend of hers and before I know it, I get a urge to ask about her and how she's doing (I always fight that urge but sometimes wonder why I got the urge to talk to her friend in the first place. Was I just hoping there would be information in our conversation). It's all these little things that you need to remove to fully go through with NC.

NC is not just about cutting direct contact with the person. It's removing everything about them from your life. It's the hardest part for me. I know at this time to not contact her but I still have the urge to find out what she's doing and how things are going in her life. You need to remove everything to be completely healed and happy with your life.

[peekcachu]

I don't think I'm pass the "I want you back phase." Today would have been our 3rd year anniversary... but its not because anniversity is for people seeing each other and we are NOT.

Oh...

[slapshot_oi]

I know that I am sick, sadistic and masochistic in some ways but when I'm dating a girl a like, I get excited at the thought of a break up 'cause I always wonder "hey, am I gonna do it right this time or will I crack like before? And what am I gonna learn about myself this time around?"

Going through a break-up suuuuucks but it's one of the most meaningful learning experiences you will have in your life. It always helps me to remind myself of that when I'm in the throes of rejection, and then the sadness goes away and I start feeling lucky, cocky even, and then NC is a cake-walk; everything falls into place.

In short, think of this as a gain instead of a loss; NC will be a lot easier that way.

[RSmyth58]

How would you go about NC if you know for a fact that you want to get back together with your girlfriend, and she wants to get back together with you in time?

[Newguy2009]

RS - After reading your original story, I can see that you are naïve.

You know this for a fact? You have been to the future?

NC is not a method to get back together with someone, it's a tool for healing.

The title of this thread is: What has been the most effective factor in helping you cope during no contact?

Coping with a breakup, not "what if" we get back together in time

[I wish]

If you want the other person back, you let them know. If they are willing to give you a chance, then you work on it together. If they don't want you back, then you can't force them.

NC is about healing, not about winning the other person back.