View Poll Results: What has been the most effective factor in helping you cope during no contact?

ByeBye · Sep 10, 2009, 10:10 AM

I have been in nc for quite some time and some days like today are really hard.this one question keeps popping in my head "why wasnt i good enough or what was so bad about me that he couldnt love me" I just wish I could get an answer

kctiger · Sep 10, 2009, 10:13 AM

When relationships end all too often we look for blame... of us, of someone else... that is natural but not right. Sometimes things change and we have to cope with that no matter how much we resist that change. Just keep on the NC trail.

none12345 · Sep 10, 2009, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by ByeBye

I have been in nc for quite some time and some days like today are really hard.this one question keeps popping in my head "why wasnt i good enough or what was so bad about me that he couldnt love me" i just wish i could get an answer

You will come to the point when you realize you just got to keep living and moving on regardless of what you feel. Its part of life. Time does not stop for you.

Gogeter12 · Sep 10, 2009, 06:41 PM

I am in the same boat of the nc.. just actually started.. and believe me when I say it is hard as hell. I have never been so upset in my life like this, I even broke down to her twice I think just couldn't take it, but I getting there a little bit. Its hard because we both had our discussions about our future. To go from that to her needing space and being left out in the cold. I must admit after a while she did have my balls, I am so crazy in love with her and she knows that believe it. She tells me she loves me too just wants to miss me and needs space, so let your wish come true. I had contact today after several attempts last night. But gave her the word of nc.. and I won't because she will be further away from me. So if she contacts me or texts me what should I do? I hate playing games of this.

I wish · Sep 10, 2009, 06:56 PM

Here are the no contact rules: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html

It's not about playing games. You have to understand that no contact is a healing procress. So until you've healed, you have to ignore her, otherwise it's going to prolong the pain and suffering. Now tell me, how is that fair to you?

Remember, no contact is a healing tool/mechanism, it's not a mind game. Make sure you have that distinction clear in your mind as you go into no contact.

Luckylucy09 · Sep 15, 2009, 10:16 AM

Really trying to not to break the NC rule again. It's hard because I want to react in anger. I know that won't get me anywhere but I want him to know that I think he sucks. I just get so angry because I think messing with someone's heart is the worst thing you can do. It's funny because I even said that to him at one point referring to someone else! Fill my head with BS when he does not really mean it. Wait until I fall for him and then he is out and runs right back to his ex. He tried to hide that from me but I found out. I found out she was never out of the picture. I don't care but don't fill my head with junk about how we will have a future together. Ugh.

ohsohappy · Sep 15, 2009, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Luckylucy09

Really trying to not to break the NC rule again. It's hard because I want to react in anger. I know that wont get me anywhere but I want him to know that I think he sucks. I just get so angry because I think messing with someones heart is the worst thing you can do. It's funny because I even said that to him at one point referring to someone else! Fill my head with BS when he does not really mean it. Wait until I fall for him and then he is out and runs right back to his ex. He tried to hide that from me but I found out. I found out she was never out of the picture. I don't care but don't fill my head with junk about how we will have a future together. Ugh.

Be strong! Don't react out of anger, it's not worth it. Block him from anything and everything that you can, delete his phone number, and change yours so that he can't talk to you anymore. It will help, I promise.

MrGr8 · Sep 16, 2009, 08:46 PM

Been split up from my ex two month now and have tried the no contact rule a few times but neither of us managed to stick to it. Well we are trying it again now and on day 4. Its hard because there is so much I want to say to her but I think I am able to stick to it.

none12345 · Sep 16, 2009, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by MrGr8

Been split up from my ex two month now and have tried the no contact rule a few times but neither of us managed to stick to it. Well we are trying it again now and on day 4. Its hard because there is so much i want to say to her but i think i am able to stick to it.

Have you been following the NC rules which some includes, having absolutely no contact with her, delete her number, her IM. If children are involved than it's a different story but if there are none, than following the rules will help you follow through with NC till the end.

MrGr8 · Sep 16, 2009, 09:17 PM

I've deleted her number, also deleted her off Facebook etc. I can get her number back easy enough though if I wanted it and can always send her a message on Facebook if I felt the need.

talaniman · Sep 17, 2009, 08:05 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nk-397148.html

His whole story.

destiny09 · Sep 17, 2009, 10:11 AM

NC is fine but you still fing yourself pining for them, I don't understand how, after being really sh*t on you still pine for them and miss them... im still at the stage of wondering where they are and what they are doing and who with!! Hope it passes soon

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by destiny09

NC is fine but you still fing yourself pining for them, i dont understand how, after being really sh*t on you still pine for them and miss them......im still at the stage of wondering where they are and what they are doing and who with!!! Hope it passes soon

So you take more time for yourself. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon.

destiny09 · Sep 17, 2009, 10:23 AM

Some friends tell me the best way to get over one man is to get on another!! Is that true

kctiger · Sep 17, 2009, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by destiny09

Some friends tell me the best way to get over one man is to get on another!!! Is that true

That is like covering a scar with another scar... it just doesn't make sense. No, it isn't true.

I wish · Sep 17, 2009, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by destiny09

Some friends tell me the best way to get over one man is to get on another!!! Is that true

Sounds like a rebound to me.

If you're not completely over the last person you liked, it's not a good idea to start something with the new person, because it's not fair to the next person.

How would you feel if your new boyfriend was thinking about his last crush while being with you?

amicon · Sep 17, 2009, 11:04 AM

No its not a good idea.Work on healing yourself first and get rid of whatever baggage you have until you do you re not ready to meet somebody else.

destiny09 · Sep 17, 2009, 11:10 AM

The baggage I have from my last relationship is shocking... ii don't think I could go into another relationship for a long time... can't picture the hurt stopping yet let alone loving again

amicon · Sep 17, 2009, 11:29 AM

You will it ll just take some time.One day you ll be ready again.

I wish · Sep 17, 2009, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by destiny09

The baggage i have from my last relationship is shocking......ii dont think i could go into another relationship for a long time

There's no reason to rush the healing process. Take whatever time you need to recover.

Look on the bright side. You're single. You can do whatever you want. No strings attached.

Go enjoy the single life again!

View Poll Results: What has been the most effective factor in helping you cope during no contact?

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