[Adam VV]

I am currently in grade twelve at high school. In grade eleven, I met this girl. We became excellent friends until the summer began, at which point we fell in love. We were "meant for eachother"... and definently still are. I had the greatest summer of my life with this girl. Anyway, school started again in early September, and since that point, the first day of school, an incredible akwardness came between us that we both noticed immediately. We went from telling each other everything and anything... to a state of a loss of words around each other... to the point where we almost want to avoid one another in response to the unbearable akwardness. We feel nervous around each other, it's terrible. Yet, internally, we both are madly in love with one another... it's so difficult to explain. I love this girl, and she loves me. Now, the akwardness has extended into our evening phone conversations... it's just two hours of long pauses and nonsense talk. I do notice, though, that when we are alone together in intimate situations, such as on weekends, that much of the akwardness disperses, although is not anywhere close to the point it was at in the summer. We spoke about the whole situation tonight, which made it even more akward. Anyway, we've come to a conclusion, we need to find reasoning for the akwardness, and from that point, we can identify a solution. We can't go on this way for much longer, no matter how strong our feelings for each other continue to be. I need your help finding the reason behind all of this... because if it isn't solved, it'll be the death of both of us, or worse yet, the death of the relationship. I beg of you, please help! Our three months is approaching fast (October 1st), and I'd really love for things to be back to normal by that time, thank you!

[Skell]

Could it be perhaps that you spent so much time with this girl over the summer that the newness and lust has worn off and you are now simply a little bored with each other?
This can quite easily happen?

Although how does it just happen overnight? You say that everything was OK until school started again?
Why is that?

But as I said there is a distinct possibility that the spark that is always there at the begginning of something new has gone. And it generally seems to be around the 3 month mark. That happens at some point in all relationships but it certainly shouldn't mean you feel awkward around one another.

It is also a good lesson for you. You need to work out ways to keep things exciting in your relationship. You need to keep a bit of mystery around yourself. I have a feeling you spent every waking moment with this girl. Too much. You need to have other things in your life. Other friends, other hobbies that you do with out her.

Read lots of the other threads here of people with similar expereinces.

I'm sure many of the others here will have a lot of great advice to hopefully help solve your problem!

[Krs]

Could it be because you are both back at school?

[chuff]

I am currently in grade twelve at highschool. In grade eleven, I met this girl. We became excellent friends until the summer began, at which point we fell in love. We were "meant for eachother"...and definently still are.

How do you know that?

I had the greatest summer of my life with this girl. Anyways, school started again in early September, and since that point, the first day of school, an incredible akwardness came between us that we both noticed immediately. We went from telling eachother everything and anything...to a state of a loss of words around eachother...to the point where we almost want to avoid one another in response to the unbearable akwardness. We feel nervous around eachother, it's terrible. Yet, internally, we both are madly in love with one another...it's so difficult to explain.

Maybe she's into another guy at school and doesn't want him to think there is anything going on between you so she pushes you away or doesn't want to talk to you in public.

I love this girl, and she loves me.

She may love you, you don't know.

Now, the akwardness has extended into our evening phone conversations...it's just two hours of long pauses and nonsense talk.

You talk way too much. Hang up the phone and go do something else. She's bored because you've spent so much time with her you've run out of things to talk about.

I do notice, though, that when we are alone together in intimate situations, such as on weekends, that much of the akwardness disperses, although is not anywhere close to the point it was at in the summer.

On the weekends when the other guy she likes isn't around or your intimate and don't have to do much talking.

We spoke about the whole situation tonight, which made it even more akward. Anyways, we've come to a conclusion, we need to find reasoning for the akwardness, and from that point, we can identify a solution.

The reason is you've made yourself too accessible to her. Back off and get a hobby or just watch television or take a nap.

We can't go on this way for much longer, no matter how strong our feelings for eachother continue to be.

Your feelings for her. I guarantee she isn't into you as much as you are into her. Your being to clingy and needy.

I need your help finding the reason behind all of this...because if it isn't solved, it'll be the death of both of us, or worse yet, the death of the relationship.

Umm... seriously the death of either one of you would be worse than the death of the relationship. If you really believe that the relationship is bigger than you either one of your lives get out now. That's another problem you've created here. You've put her on a pedestal. Quit doing that. She is not bigger or better than you. By doing this she can now have her way with you and probably has and is now bored.

I beg of you, please help! Our three months is approaching fast (October 1st), and I'd really love for things to be back to normal by that time, thank you!

Three months is not that long of a time. I think you've spent so much time with her that she is bored or interested in another guy or both.

[talaniman]

I don't see any balance in this relationship, just the initial lust wearing off. Where do you go now and it sounds as if neither of you has a life without each other. BORING, too boring for young people that should be having fun or at least getting to know each other. Love is not just feelings but sharing with each other and I don't see that at all. Do something else besides look at each other, like be with friends or something.

[s_cianci]

As the other posters have suggested, I think you may in fact be becoming a little bored with each other. During the summer you focused strictly on each other. Now you're back in school and surrounded by all that activity. The relationship may have well been just a summer diversion that's really not "needed" now that school's back in full swing. Maybe you should try taking a break from each other for a while and see what happens.

[Adam VV]

Anyway, this girl and I have identified that the reason we are so akward with each other is that the entire summer was spent alone, just us two... everyday. And now, we are re-subjected into the huge social scene, and are just feeling damn akward... not used to seeing the other like this. Anyway, it's not getting better, so we agreed that we'll base things on the next few days, and if things don't improve, we'll give each other "some time". Anyway, my question being, will the knowledge that we are no longer dating help our situation? Because, other than that, everything will be just the same. I mean, we will see each other in school... the only difference being the lack of our rare weekend outings. But we still want to remain in close touch... so that we can possibly bring things back again. Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for comments, I don't really have a question... what do you think?

[Krs]

I think you both have to decided where you both stand and where you want to go from here as a 'couple'.
Talking ( as said a lot here on AMHD ) is the key to any kind of relationship.
So make things clear between you and come to a mutual agreement.
Good Luck.