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inertia · May 7, 2009, 12:38 PM

I've started to think about the ex from about 8 months ago a lot lately. I've been NC since forever and have a relatively busy life. I haven't met anyone else yet (plenty of opportunities though). I'm about to travel the world for a year or two and make a lot of money (I have a pretty cool job). I keep imagining how fun she would be to take with me. I know it's fruitless and a waste of energy. I'm not going to break down and call her or anything but I feel like this adventure would be so much more fun with her. For those of you who remember my situation, you know it would be ridiculous to invite her. Help me think differently or something. Please!!

HistorianChick · May 7, 2009, 12:43 PM

Buy yourself an awesome camera and think of all the amazing pictures that you're going to get!

Think of all the people that you'll meet, all the places you'll see, the food you'll try, the cultures you'll experience... wow...

Focus on the good things of this trip - learning languages, cooking foreign delicacies, seeing historical monuments, etc. - not the things that are in the past.

The people in your past should be left in the past. There is a reason why they never made it to your future.

And what a future you have!! :D

In omnia paratus!

inertia · May 7, 2009, 12:45 PM

HistorianChick telling me to forget about the past. At least I can laugh at the irony.

HistorianChick · May 7, 2009, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by inertia

HistorianChick telling me to forget about the past. At least I can laugh at the irony.

HAHA! Lol... nice. :) My interests lie in "Wars and rumors of wars" though... not relationships... believe me. I have my own ghosts in the whole relationship part.

I just choose not to dwell on them! :)

HistorianChick · May 7, 2009, 12:48 PM

I'm leaving for a three week trip to China on Tuesday. I have my camera and my journal... can't wait! :)

inertia · May 7, 2009, 12:48 PM

What's the difference between wars and relationships?

inertia · May 7, 2009, 12:49 PM

I might make it to China (not within three weeks though) sounds pretty fun.

HistorianChick · May 7, 2009, 12:50 PM

In wars, when you die, you stay dead.

In relationships, you pick yourself up, dust off your knees, clean your face, and take your life back. It's hard, but you survive. Even when you thought your heart was dead, you still survive.

inertia · May 7, 2009, 12:56 PM

Well, I have survived both in my life.

HistorianChick · May 7, 2009, 12:59 PM

Then you are truly and incredibly blessed. :)

inertia · May 7, 2009, 01:10 PM

I'd rather be charmed... life seems a lot less complicated for the charmed.

inertia · May 7, 2009, 01:28 PM

You're welcome.

Survivor07 · May 7, 2009, 03:03 PM

You definitely have an adventure ahead of you. Sounds awesome.

I don't know if you've ever traveled the world before, but here's my thoughts:

Maybe going off into the unknown for a long period is making you want to cling to something comfortable...

Just put thoughts of her out of your mind as best you can and really believe you are going to grow and learn and have amazing experiences, on your own!

Best of luck and safe traveling

inertia · May 7, 2009, 03:14 PM

I've traveled quite a bit. No, the psychology of it is as simple as I state. I know she would be a lot of fun. I truly miss her company. Not companionship, not comfort or security. Despite the fall out, I really did love that girl. Ahhhh. Such is life.

Survivor07 · May 7, 2009, 04:15 PM

Ahhh... I see. I really do understand.

friend4u178 · May 7, 2009, 11:48 PM

Originally Posted by inertia

I've traveled quite a bit. No, the psychology of it is as simple as I state. I know she would be a lot of fun. I truly miss her company. Not companionship, not comfort or security. Despite the fall out, I really did love that girl. Ahhhh. Such is life.

You may even find your new girl on your adventures , focus on that rather than the past :)

Hope you have a wonderful time!

Ps: HC hope your trip to China is great too , we want to see the pics OK ;)

forgiveness · May 8, 2009, 03:22 AM

Hello Inertia,

Is India listed out in your travel plan?? If yes, I welcome you to India :-) :-) :-)

I would like to meet you when you come to India :-) :-) :-) :-)

Cheers

kctiger · May 8, 2009, 05:25 AM

Inertia, I would tell you something but then you would argue with me about it... ;) You seem like a fairly interesting and cool dude, and I think you are going to have the time of your life. Personally, from looking at your past, going on this trip was meant to happen ALONE, and not with the ex...

You said in the above post, by the way, that you just missed her company, not her companionship. The two are one in the same buddy. Opportunities happen to those of us ready for them, look forwards, not backwards and enjoy your time man. I wish I was in your shoes... God help the world if that ever happens.

Take care man! Take some awesome pics and meet some hotties along the way... :cool:

talaniman · May 8, 2009, 06:41 AM

You don't want her messing up your options, and opportunities do you?

inertia · May 8, 2009, 07:57 AM

KC, I should have been more articulate (for you :) ). I don't miss having companionship in general i.e. loneliness is not the cause of me missing someone's company. I suppose it's analogous to playing baseball and getting traded to a different team. I still love the game but miss some of the old players (baseball is the best metaphor for sex, relationships and apparently sexual orientation).

Tal, you make a good case. I guess I'm not looking at this as an opportunity to meet anyone because I will be moving around so often. Although, now that I say that, I have met people in the past in a short amount of time.

Forgiveness, India is certainly on the menu. I appreciate your offer but I'll have to respectfully decline. I prefer to keep all of my anonymous internet relationships... well anonymous. If I knew any of you personally I'd probably be rather embarrassed that you knew so many of my secrets.

Thanks everyone, your posts certainly injected some much needed optimism and reality into my current thinking. As always, I am grateful.