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    PunkDragonfly's Avatar
    PunkDragonfly Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 4, 2009, 12:04 AM
    Losing your virgintiy to a friend
    I'm 22 and I'm a virgin and when I say virgin I mean VIRGIN. Never gave or received anything remotely sexual. It's not because of my religious beliefs although they do come into play. Ive always believed your virginty is the best gift you can give anyone besides your heart. But here lately I've been seriously thinking why do I stay a virgin. Ive always wanted to wait for love but I'm beginning to think it doesn't exist. I have this guy friend who I trust a lot and I've known him for awhile would it be too much to ask him to take my virginity?
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #2

    May 4, 2009, 12:50 AM

    It is a big decission.
    Do you trust this guy completely?
    Is he going to stick around in the good times and bad?

    If you are having doubts then there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting for the right guy.. he will come along eventually.
    But in saying that, have a bit of 'fun' is good to, it all depends on you. Just make sure it is truly what you want to do :)
    Triysle's Avatar
    Triysle Posts: 245, Reputation: 84
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    #3

    May 4, 2009, 02:33 AM
    Something to think about -

    Whoever you give your virginity to will be in your mind for the rest of your life. It won't matter how many other people you meet or have sex with, nor will it matter how bad or hilarious your first time was. Make sure that whoever you decide to have sex with, you are willing to remember them for the rest of your life.

    I'm not saying you have to stay with them or anything. Many people do not end up spending their lives with their first lover. But make sure that you are willing to accept the consequences of anything that might happen. Even if you use protection you CAN still get pregnant. Also, make sure you trust the person enough to know that they are healthy, and make sure that you don't end up ruining what could be a beautiful friendship over something like this.

    It's a tough choice, and something that you should not rush into. I wish my first time had been "special" or romantic somehow, but there is no way for me to go back and change it. You still have time ;)

    All the best,

    ~ Tee
    KatiePlce's Avatar
    KatiePlce Posts: 55, Reputation: 5
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    #4

    May 4, 2009, 04:17 AM

    I personally would wait till you got in a serious relationship, because when feelings are involved that's a whole other level of intimacy and the feeling of giving something up to a person that you are in love with is something you will probably never will forget.

    I say you waited this long I'm sure you could hold out a little longer >_<
    PunkDragonfly's Avatar
    PunkDragonfly Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    May 4, 2009, 05:35 AM

    I trust him a lot, he's like my best friend. I don't think I would be able to trust someone as much as I do him. Im just tired of the OMG your still a virgin Check please. I would want to give my virginty to someone I love but I also want to be able to fulfil their sexual desires and not knowing what I'm doing would not allow me to do that. Im ready physically and emotionallty to be intimate with someone and I'm positive that I would want to remember him for a long time even if we lost contact.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #6

    May 4, 2009, 05:48 AM
    Sex takes friendship to a whole new level. Many friendships are lost because of sex.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #7

    May 4, 2009, 05:54 AM

    Yes, It would be too much to ask him. You do not ask somebody to help you lose your virginity for the sake of losing it. So what you need to do is be patient. Whether you're a virgin at 22, 27, 33 does not matter. What matters is you give your virginity to the one that you love. Love sometimes comes early and sometimes comes later in life. If you just go out for losing it, you will regret it.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #8

    May 4, 2009, 06:38 AM

    If guys are leaving you because you're a virgin then you don't need those jerks. I know plenty of guys that would love to date a virgin and wouldn't try to make you have sex with them.

    Just continue waiting and know that sex is a learning experience in itself. Don't think for one minute your friend is going teach you everything about sex because, even today, I learn something new every time me and my fiancé make love.

    Relax because your reasons behind wanting to have sex are all wrong.
    Dr Retclass's Avatar
    Dr Retclass Posts: 12, Reputation: 5
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    #9

    May 4, 2009, 06:39 AM

    I am not ashamed to admit that I was 22 when I lost my virginity. That was after spending four years in the Navy. I was surrounded by people who were partying and having relations all the time. I thought that I was not normal. I remember being made fun of all the time for being a virgin. I thought something was wrong with me. When I was twenty-one I gave up hope of ever having sex. I just stopped worrying about it. Then I left the Navy and went to college and the most wonderful thing happened. I met the woman who became my wife. I was 22 and had no experience with sex. That did not matter to her. She fell for me and that led to a beautiful relationship. You will be the only one that can truly judge when you are ready to take the next step. I recommend you use safety precautions and just try to enjoy yourself when the time comes. It will happen when you are ready.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #10

    May 4, 2009, 03:06 PM

    While its up to you completely, I have to say Don't do it. You have waited this long and KUDOS to you! Its obviously important to you if you have waited this long. Don't give up in a moment of piqué.

    *hugs* good luck hon. And remember we can give opinions but its always up to you.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #11

    May 4, 2009, 03:53 PM

    I was 27 when I lost mine. It was worth the wait.
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #12

    May 4, 2009, 04:02 PM
    Sex can ruin a friendship. Are you willing to risk that?
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #13

    May 7, 2009, 01:49 PM

    I'd do it...

    I lost my virginity my senior year of high school to my prom date (high school sweet heart). I wish I hadn't though. I have a male best friend now and I wouldn't have minded losing my virginity to him because I know he cares for me, he won't hurt me, and he'll always be around.

    But I hope your doing for the right reasons... not to please anyone but yourself. But to be honest you WILL cling to your first sexual partner. It's just natural. Be prepared for your best friend to tell you he doesn't want to be your boyfriend after your virginity is taken as well.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #14

    May 8, 2009, 04:17 AM
    If you do this decision on a plus/minus list, what have you got?

    Staying a virgin: safety, healthy, able to give THE greatest gift to the one you truly love when you meet him

    Losing your virginity: health risks, emotional risks, religious risks, lifetime commitments(to your child)

    Staying a virgin: curiosity, teasing, cute guys running away

    Losing your virginity: the glory and wonder, permanent memories, 21st century "womanhood"

    It's your decision, not mine, not anybody in this forum's, not even your preacher's. This one is for the rest of your life, so think long and hard before you make it.
    c23's Avatar
    c23 Posts: 60, Reputation: 0
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    #15

    May 9, 2009, 12:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Sex takes friendship to a whole new level. Many friendships are lost because of sex.
    I totally agree:)
    Clarizzy's Avatar
    Clarizzy Posts: 26, Reputation: -2
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    #16

    May 15, 2009, 09:00 AM

    If you trust him then go ahead, just don't forget to take some safety pre-cautions.

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