[Krazi]

One time there was a blonde and she was driving in her brand new corvette and she got pulled over from going to fast. So the police officer told her to please get out of the car and she did. Then he drew a circle on the road and said stand in this circle and do not get out of it.So he turns around and pops her tires and she starts to laugh. Then he turns around and he smashes all of her windows and the blonde started laughing even harder. So he turns around and dents all of her doors and the blonde starts laughing hysterically and the police officer turned around and he said why are you laughing I just totaled your car. And the blonde says all the times you turned around I stepped out of the circle.


A blonde walk into a doctor's office and says "when i touch my arm it hurts, and when i touch my stomach it hurts, and now that i think of it when i touch my foot it hurts really bad"
The doctor took an x-ray of her and said "well the reason why your body parts is hurting is because your finger is broken"



A blond walks in two a store and says,"I want to buy this tv" and the clerk says," No blonds allowed in my store." So she goes home and dyes here hair green and goes back and says, "I want to buy this tv" the clerk again says, "No blonds in my store." So the blond goes home and dyes here hair purple then she goes back to the store and says, "I want to but this tv" well the clerk again says,"no blonds allowed in my store." The blond, which is now purple, says,"Iim not a blond" and the clerk says, "then why are you asking for a tv and holding a microwave?"


One day a blond decides to go ice fishing. She goes to the ice park and sets down her stool. As she's getting her pole ready, she hears "there are no fish under the ice!". Startled the blond goes to another part of the pond. But again she hears "there are no fish under the ice!". This happens again and
finally she asks "God, is that you?!?"... "no its the ice rink manager!"


There were 2 blondes in line for heaven. They got bored so one blond asked the other blond how she died and she says, "I froze to death." so she goes, "well how did u die?" and she said, "well I heared that my husband was cheating on me so I went around the house looking for clues, I went form the atic all the way down to the basement and that is where I had a heart attack." the blond goes, "well if you would of looked in the freezer we both would be alive!"



A blonde is a sales clerk of a store and as she stands behind the counter, a robber walks in and says "give me your all your money" and the blonde replies "but that gun only cost $150 and i need the receipt for you to return it"


https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-...ml#post1703720

[artlady]

Aww.I love it! The first one is hysterical.

I have to copy that one down and send it to my bleached blond friend!

Thanks for the laugh... can never get enough of that :)

[shazamataz]

Love them :D hehe

I love the broken finger one, they used that on House a while ago and it had me in stitches.

[mum45]

Love the blondes in heaven one.

[Catsmine]

Try this one:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-...de-343203.html

[Krazi]

Try this one:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-...de-343203.html

:eek:
Put the earphones back on quick!

[liz28]

Those were funny and here are some more.
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
___________________
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
____________________

A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."

[twinkiedooter]

I'm a blonde and I absolutely adore blonde jokes. Can't get enough blonde jokes!! Keep 'em coming guys. I love to laugh.

[salamander5]

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."