[1buttercup]

This may seem insignificant as he is not having an affair or anything like that but he keeps lying to me and it is driving me mad. Last month I asked him to book two days off work when our daughter started school, he said he had and kept telling me this until the first day and then he told me that he hadn't got the second day off, I felt confused and let down as he had let me believe that he had the two days off. When he told me he hadn't, he tried to make out that I knew and that he had already told me! Today I emailed him at work to ask him to book off the day for our daughters first sports day so we can go and watch her, he replied that he already has this day booked off as he is going away for a tournament that weekend. Needless to say I was furious that he would do all of this without telling me, but to make it worse, we had already discussed this weekend away and decided that we couldn't afford it!! He is now telling me that I know he goes away this weekend every year! Please could someone help me, I feel like I am going mad, it just seems that he goes and does whatever he wants, I can't believe he could be so selfish, I have told him to cancel this weekend away but I need some advise on how best to handle the situation before he comes home from work or I will probably go mad at him!!

[PVRao]

I am not sure if I am giving you the right tips,, but you can try this,,
STAND ON YOUR FEET
Don't depend on him
Tell him your plans but don't involve him in anything for a while
Observe what he does, how he reacts
Enjoy without him and let him know you can enjoy
Go out with friends while he is at home
Make plans with him but cancel at the last moment
He might fight or doubt on u,, be ready with your answers,, let him know what he does,, tell him you do things without him because he is not committed to his words,, make him understand what he is missing...

[1buttercup]

Thank you , yes, I think I will try this subtly! He has since phoned me and swears he told me that he hadn't booked the first day off and that a friend has offered to pay the costs for the weekend if he drives, he only hadn't told me because he only knew on Monday!! Its Wednesday!! I said to him, he still managed to book the time off work before even talking to me as well... so, yes, a little less talking from me for a while I think :)

[Sooz70]

I wish I had answers for you... I am just now going through the lying phase with my husband of two years. I am praying for the best.. but always go with your gut. That is what I have been told.. and my husband knows that my gut is telling me that I WILL NOT and CANNOT be lied to anymore.. so, he has one more chance. There is no level of lying or deciet that is OK in a marriage. Period. No one should settle for less. I am learning this the very hard way, and I pray he comes around. Best of luck. I know this sounds stupid from a "newlywed"... but wow.. this lying thing has really thrown me for a loop and I really want to nip it in the butt or..