[Pheebster]

As my title said I have tried resently to stop cutting myself, but I have urges and thougts about doing it and feels horrible! I don't know what to do, and I'm scared. Please give me advice.

[Presleygall85]

Have you seen a doctor or a shrink?

What urges you to cut yourself?

[J_9]

How old are you?

Why do you cut yourself? Do any of your friends cut themselves?

Why did you think this was okay?

[Pheebster]

Its because I'm having a hard time with friends, not boys, but friends that I can talk to. And I Never WANT to see a shrink what do they do any way I have a choice not to talk to them and I'm not going to. I'm in grade 9.

Help please, I'm scared

I know I seem pretty messed up but when I found this site I thought you people might be able to help me or at least give me some advice, I know that seeing a shrink sounds like a good idea but I will only talk to some body if I feel comfortable talking to them about this problem

[JoeCanada76]

Talking with somebody is very important. Yes, we say it is good to also speak with a counsellor. Some people are very wary of this but it is very helpful. How old are you? You're a teenager. Hormones are going all weird and growth spurts can be challenging. A counsellor, if a good one will not try to feed you medication but will try to get to the root of the problem. They will ask you questions and probably give you ideas on other ways of dealing with this urge. Figuring out what triggers this behaviour is very important. You need to be willing to answer questions. If you do not, then it will be hard to help you. Everything is confidential.

Joe

[Pheebster]

Urges are just simple, I have something bad happen, a friend ditches me at school, says she'll call never does, all that, and I'll come home and want to cut myself, I hate it, but this thing won't go away

[J_9]

But WHY do you want to cut yourself?
Let's go a little deeper, if you don't mind. Let me ask you a few questions and maybe we can see better how to help you.

Is that okay with you?

[Skell]

Does the boy that you mention in your other post have anything to do with this?
Is he making life diffifult? You aren't giving mych to work with but like Jesushelper said there is nothing to fear from counselling!

[J_9]

I need to know things like this for example:

Do you have a hard time talking to people? Are you shy?

What is your family life like? Are your parents married, do they fight all the time?

Are you a perfectionist?

We need DETAILS!! The more you can give, the better we can help you.

[Pheebster]

Yes that's fine with me if you ask questions

[J_9]

Can you answer the questions above? Is that okay with you?

[Pheebster]

Well, my parent divorsed when I was like 4, but my dad has a girlfried/fieancey they fight a lot, I don't like her. I don't usually have ahard time talking to people but I feel like I can't tell a lot of people my inner thoughts and emotions. I'm only shy when I'm depressed or feeling low. And I'm far froma perfectionist but I do beat on myself about how hard I tried and how I could have done things. I play sports and read. I like to write and draw. I usually write short stories, mostly about toubled teenage girls that have family problems or have a seriouse problem in there life. I write poetry, the subjects vary from suicide to the moon and stars. Is that enough information?

I may come and go, I have a bussy scedual and can't go online a lot of the time. About 20 minutes ago my sister and I had a pretty bad fight, she's the only oither person who knows I cut myself I regret telling her though. If I don't do something she black mails me by say she will tell my parents. I don't like it.

The boy has NOTHING to do with my cutting habit

[J_9]

It is really a great start!! You sound really talented!!

Do you live with your dad and his fiancé?

Okay, you say you "beat on yourself" about how hard you tried and how you could have done things. Well, I want you to keep this in mind AT ALL TIMES.

YOU CAN ONLY DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO. YOU CAN'T DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT.

It took me a long time to learn this. Now I am 42, with 4 kids and back in college. I just recently learned to live by this motto.

You might want to think about writing your stories maybe about yourself, like in a diary or journal. It may be a good thing to do this if you feel like cutting yourself. Do this instead. By all means don't share your journal with anyone. Those are your personal feelings.

There is nothing wrong with seeing a counselor, some of them are VERY helpful. I understand that you do not want to talk to someone you don't know, but knowing someone comes with time. You may develop a close relationship and learn a lot about yourself.

Keep a journal about anything and everything. You can make it volumes!! You never know, you could help someone else later who has this problem, or you could become a rich novelist!

Just keep talking to us, we all have such great ideas. Someone will give you one you really like I am sure.

Keep your chin up kiddo and know that you are not alone.

[Pheebster]

Thanks that's a big help, I live with my dad part time

They figured that sharing equil time was best

[J_9]

What other things do you like to do?

[Pheebster]

Well I mostly play sports, draw, and write. That's about it. I'm not really that social, at all, I barely hang out with my friends, I only hang with my friends at school.

I think I may be suicidal. Yesterday night I had a dream about committing suicide at school. I woke this morning horrified. I don't want to see a shrink, I don't even want to tell my parents. I think I may go to our school counsellor. I hope she can help. I think I need to help myself more than I need some one to help me, or is getting help from some one helping me?

[J_9]

Pheeb,

Getting help from someone is MOST Definitely a way to help you. Never be afraid to ask for help. In anything.

I can't (or wasn't able to) do simple math. I had to go through MANY algebra courses to get into Nursing, but I asked for help, I got a tutor and now I am doing great.

So, please do not be afraid to ask for help.

[Pheebster]

Great, but what do you think the dream was about because, I have thought of suicide but never in a way of actually doing it.

In grade 6 I acually did a speech about what the average rate of people who commite suicied every year. Most of them are teenage boys, it was a very contaversial speech, in my class we had a sub and she thought it was silly of me to do a speech on something like that

[J_9]

The dream may be your subconscious making sure you do not commit suicide. It could be a way of scaring yourself into reality.

I know what you are feeling is scary. I know you do not want to tell your parents. But you have to talk to someone.

It is very important that you get these feelings out in the open. You eill feel better once you do, trust me. It might be hard in the beginning, but you will be better off when you do.

[Pheebster]

OK, I've already told my oldest and dearest friend