[BreezyBri]

I'm fifteen, so I'm very aware of the fact that I'm young, and that I have my entire life ahead of me, but at the same time.. I also feel like I've lost everything by just losing a single person. I was with this guy for nine months, it started.. Just.. Amazingly. We connected instantly. We helped each other get over our pasts. We knew each other better than anyone else ever could. A few days into the relationship, due to family issues, he ran away from home. Once he was caught, he ended up having to live about nine hours away from where I am with his dad as punishment. Throughout that entire time, I wrote in a notebook. Basically saying that I missed him, and I couldn't wait to see him again, and that I hope he's okay. When he got back, I found out he could only stay another month before he had to actually move. At that point, I wasn't sure what was going to happen.. So I gave him the notebook. He read through it in front of me, and ran off scribbling something in it. When he handed it back to me, I read what he wrote.. "I don't want to say this too soon and I don't want to freak you out, but I think I love you.." At that point, I honestly felt like everything was perfect for once. Like maybe I'd found someone real. Someone that I'd be with.. Forever. He ended up moving. We stayed together through phone calls. He came down to visit in December and again in January, each time giving me something to remember him by.. Everything was just perfect until he became comfortable up where he's now living. He called me at midnight last month saying he was sorry, but he didn't think he was going to come back, and not only that.. But he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend. It was a four hour conversation that, by the end of, I was devastated. He came back to visit yesterday. We talked. He saw his ex-girlfriend, decided he was going to move back, but told me he still couldn't be with me, at least not yet, because of his ex.. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him with three different guys. If there is anything that I want for him, it's just to see him happy; With or without me. But I don't want to see him crawling back to her, because I know she'll only hurt him again. I'd do anything to show him this, but I know he has to see it on his own.. I just don't know what to do at this point, I want him back so badly, and I know he still has feelings for me.. He's just not over her yet, even though she's now graduated and engaged.

[none12345]

Hey breezy, you've got yourself quite a situation. I got kind of sad by reading your story. I assume you decided you want to get over him from the title of the thread. The best way is to don't contact him anymore no matter what and start building your life and do what you want and things that will make you happy.

[h0llister]

I think you should let him do what he wants. You can tell him your feelings, but at the end of the day he will do what he wants. You should start worrying about your life and go out with your girlfriends and focus on school. Beware he might come running back to you when his ex hurts him again. But he's not worth it, if he's going to treat you like this! Good luck and we are here to help you through everything! :)

[talaniman]

I know he has to see it on his own..

Your right, you must leave him alone to find his own way. Its rough, given your feelings, because it will be hard for you to find your own way, without him. You have to though.

[ZoeMarie]

Everyone is right. You're right. He's going to have to learn the hard way. Sometimes that's the best way. Just let him do his thing. Hang out with friends and try to have fun. Maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't but there's no sense in waiting around for him.

[BreezyBri]

maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't but there's no sense in waiting around for him.

I understand that.. It's just so difficult for me to actually believe. And I feel like, sometimes, I might want to wait for him.. It's idiotic, because in a way, I feel like I'm doing the same thing that he's doing with his ex-girlfriend; waiting around for something that's only going to end up breaking my heart again.. But at the same time, I feel like we weren't meant to be apart. I know he didn't want to leave me.. He was crying when he told me that we should go our separate ways, and before he could even say it, he was crying and trying to get the words out.. I told him, "Just say it.. It's okay.." and he said, "I don't want to.." Just.. Bawling. And it pains me so much that he ran straight back to her not even a week later, than a few weeks after decides that he is going to move back.. I'm not sure what to make of it let alone if I might have another shot.. But I understand what all of you are saying, and thank you very much for your responses.. I know what I should do now, I just don't know if I can..

[none12345]

It's just so difficult for me to actually believe.

So was everyone when they break up. Its normal to feel that way.

And I feel like, sometimes, I might want to wait for him..

You say that now but sooner or later you ll realize you cant.

It's idiotic, because in a way, I feel like I'm doing the same thing that he's doing with his ex-girlfriend; waiting around for something that's only going to end up breaking my heart again..

Than why are you doing it? You ll just end up with more pain. Its not worth it.

But at the same time, I feel like we weren't meant to be apart.

If that is how you feel, than be apart.

I know he didn't want to leave me.. He was crying when he told me that we should go our separate ways, and before he could even say it, he was crying and trying to get the words out.. I told him, "Just say it.. It's okay.." and he said, "I don't want to.." Just.. Bawling.

No, that doesn't mean he didn't want to leave. He could be crying for a lot of reasons.

And it pains me so much that he ran straight back to her not even a week later, than a few weeks after decides that he is going to move back.. I'm not sure what to make of it let alone if I might have another shot..

Typical. Right after you guys split, he ran straight to another girl. He chose her over you. So he did want to leave you for another girl aka his ex.

But I understand what all of you are saying, and thank you very much for your responses.. I know what I should do now, I just don't know if I can..

Of course you can. All of us thought that way at some point but in the end you ll find out this is for the best and you deserve someone that treats you well. Its not the end of the world. I think you're just scared because of the change in your life. Live your life and do all the things you wanted to and be happy and you ll find your special someone.

Best wishes =P

[BreezyBri]

Threads merged

I've posted a few times about this situation before, but it continues to change so drastically that I just want to hear people's opinions.. Because I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm sixteen. I turned sixteen June 10th. Last year, on my birthday, the most amazing boy asked me to be his girlfriend.. I've never known someone who understands me quite as he does.. I've never connected with someone so deeply.. A few weeks after he asked me out, he ran away from home due to personal issues.. And because of that, his mom forced him to live up North with his dad, about nine and a half hours away from here.. I couldn't contact him for about a month, so while he was gone I wrote in a notebook.. Telling him that I missed him and that I'd wait until he got back, because I thought he'd be worth it.. When he did eventually come back, I found out that he was only staying for a month to fix up and sell his house before he left to move up North with his dad again.. The first day I saw him when he got back, I gave him the notebook. He read through it.. Then ran off to scribble something in. When he gave it back to me, he'd written.. "I don't want to sound weird or say this too soon.. But I think I love you." And right then, I felt like things would be okay.. We spent every day of that month together. I helped him and his mom fix up their house. We continued to get closer until he eventually had to leave.. At that point, we kept in contact through Myspace and phone calls. We'd talk every night. He visited every few months. Every time it was harder to let him go. All we were waiting for was for him to turn eighteen, May 20, so he could graduate and move back down.. A few months ago, back in March, he called me around midnight.. We talked until four in the morning.. He told me he might stay up North, because he felt more comfortable up there.. He was crying, and he kept repeating that he was sorry, and doesn't want to let me go, but doesn't want to make me wait for him if he wasn't going to come back.. He told me it was best we go our separate ways.. I was torn apart. I saw him again a few weeks later, when his family came down to visit. We talked.. He told me that the truth was, he wasn't over his ex girlfriend, and that he'd spoken to her before he called me that night.. And he broke up with me because he didn't want to come back if he was going to only end up leaving me for her.. Though he is coming back, because he spoke to her, and was now in a "love triangle" with his ex and her fiancé. He knew she'd end up leaving him, she'd cheated on him three times before, but he didn't want to let her go. He didn't feel that he could. He goes back up North, a few weeks pass by.. And I get a phone call. He isn't coming back. He realized she doesn't care for him, and he refuses to be sucked back into the same cycle he got himself caught in before.. Throughout that time I'd gotten a drug addiction.. I've been using hard drugs for a few months now.. He found out through other sources.. Tells me that he's so incredibly sorry for what he's done.. For how he's hurt me.. That he regrets everything.. He cries again. Decides he's coming back to help me.. He's going to leave his ex, try his best to move on, and help me overcome what I've gotten involved in.. I automatically feel guilty, I don't want to see him get back with his ex, because he isn't happy in that situation. And I feel like I'm the reason for him coming back, so if he ends up hurt.. I'll be at fault.. Or I'll at least feel at fault. He tells me it's going to be okay.. Somehow. A few nights ago, he told me that he was going to take me out to a sushi restaurant for my birthday. He changed his default on Myspace to an old picture of me and him that he edited to look old and fading, but with the slightest bit of color left.. He told me the reason was because we'd both changed so much, and we aren't ourselves anymore, but the color represents that there's still hope to be our true selves again.. To not change completely. I'm the first on his top again. He told me he still sleeps with the teddy bear I gave him while we were dating, and that he still reads through the notebook.. He calls me nightly.. We had a conversation, I was trying to convince him that he didn't have to come back for me if he didn't feel that he could handle it.. He told me that he loves me, but he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea. That his motives aren't to be with me again, only to be my friend and help me. He came down today. We spent the entire day together.. He took me out to a sushi restaurant, he gave me a necklace.. We went to go see a concert, She Wants Revenge, with another friend of mine and my brother.. I honestly don't know what to make of his actions.. It hurts because even when he's right next to me, we can't be the way that we were.. I can't hold his hand.. I can't kiss him.. He doesn't hold me anymore. It hurts.. And I don't want to lose him as a friend, but if I'm being hurt by this, I don't know what to do.. And I don't know what to make of his actions.. Is that all that he really wants? Just to be my friend and to help me? Is there any possibility of a future with him again.. Or will things just continue on this way? Awkward, distance, glances, stupid conversation.. I just don't know what to do..

[unspeaken21]

Maybe he is waiting for you to get over your drug usage (im assuming you still use drugs)..
You were his second choice... Honestly there is no way in knowing whether you and him will ever have a future of more than just friends... That's something you have to discuss with him. You guys have to have a deep conversation in how both of you view each other..
Maybe being friends will you help you guys out before a relationship between you two develops, especially after what's happened...

But why did you have to start drugs? You do know dealing with your problems face to face makes you a stronger person.. I just hope every time you have a weakness you don't resort to drugs, for any matter...

Good luck and I hope you get an answer..

[liz28]

Don't talking/hanging out with this guy and let him go. NC is the way to go.

If your still using and is addicted to drugs get help and you can start by talking to your parents. Turning to drugs over a confused guy that is hung over his ex and told you a number of times he doesn't want a relationship with you is bad. Drugs just create more problems it doesn't make your problems go away because once you come down from your high the problems you tried to escape are still there.

This guy just wants to be friends which your ready for. If he chooses to keep running back to someone that isn't worth it then guess what--it's his problem not yours.

Stop hanging on to someone hoping they would change and want to be with you because you think you're a better match for them--this is false hope. Your only causing yourself misery because you chose to ignore the facts and the reality of things.

Relationships comes with no guarantees and no written agreedments. When things doesn't work and you see + realize it ain't going work you pick yourself up and move on--don't stay down.
Break-ups are tough and I know it is easier said then done to move on but it's doable. It takes a lot of willpower and strength from within but you can do. And in the end you will survive.

Your only 16 and have a whole lot of life in you. Your going go through many relationship but you have to learn when to walk away and to listen to what a guy tells you and not to turn into something else nor try to change their mind. There is no sense in being stuck.

Let go, move on, get help for your drug addiction, and hang out with friends. At your age I was enjoying my youth and doing everything with my girls. Boys come and go and I learned that a long time ago.

[nikosmom]

Breezy... you will get more responses if you go back and add spaces between your paragraphs to make your question easier to read. :)

[BreezyBri]

Breezy... you will get more responses if you go back and add spaces between your paragraphs to make your question easier to read. :)

Is there a way to edit the original post?
If there is.. I can't find it.. >////<;

[nikosmom]

Is there a way to edit the original post?
If there is.. I can't find it.. >////<;

Under the original post, there's a button that says "EDIT"... that way you can go and spellcheck, add spaces, punctuation, etc. :)

[Gemini54]

It sounds and feels complicated because you're living it, but it's not.

You had a connection. He was, it sounds, unsure from the start - remember his reaction to your notebook? I think that you lived in hope, and he did too - hope that he'd get back with his ex. Now he's telling you he wants to be friends. He doesn't want a relationship. You need to hear his words.

No one is worth doing hard drugs for. If this is how you deal with uncertainty and disappointment, then I suggest that you need to seek professional help. You are responsible for how you feel and how you react to life's challenges - no one else is.

The issue here is not your BF, it's you. Please speak to a parent or a counsellor about your feelings and anxieties. You will begin to understand yourself and heal if you do.

[talaniman]

You really need to get help with the drugs, and that in itself is a long hard process, but one that you really need to do. Start with talking to your parents or a trusted adult, but someone who can help. Don't try this yourself, but ask for what you need... help with drugs.

I can't address the rest of your concerns until you do. No one can.