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dredman2010 · Apr 26, 2009, 07:04 PM

I am very lonely. I'm 17 and I am way beyond the other kids at my school intellectually. No one understands me. I try to act less smart but still I am pushed away by their ignorance. I have no friends. I am not even sure that anyone understands me anymore. To them I am a tool. Like a computer or plane or any other complex device I am used by them without caring or knowing how I actually work. I am so lonely. How do I lose this feeling? I think I just need someone to talk to me and understand me but who in a small town of less than 1000 is there? Please help

mudweiser · Apr 26, 2009, 07:09 PM

Hey there.

Sorry your going through a tough time in high school. I'm sure a lot of people had their own bad experiences. I don't think it's that your smart that bothers them it's probably your attitude- really.

Don't want to come across harsh but maybe you should see how your attitude is. There's a difference between just being smart and being a know-it-all. I don't know many people that like to be around people that are always correcting them, hogging the spotlight in class and compare grades just to make fun of the other's shortcomings.

I too lived in a small town and I know how people can get with their criticism--- however it should not define you. Also pay attention to what they say, usually you can tell what the problem is from what they are saying.

Just a thought.

Sarah

pathisfer · Apr 26, 2009, 07:13 PM

When we are different from other people it can often leave us feeling disconnected and isolated if we tend to focus on why 'they don't understand us'. Some of your statements like "their ignorance" leads me to believe that you don't feel like you have any thing to gain from connecting with others, that since they are not your intellectual equal, they have nothing to offer. This is why you are lonely, it's your own ignorance of what others actually have to offer you, not their ignorance. Try changing your mindset.

dredman2010 · Apr 26, 2009, 07:14 PM

I see what you mean but this is not the case. In school I keep to myself. I do not act arrogant or anything along those lines. I try to get along with the people. Some pretend and some just don't care but it is plain to me that they don't really like me.

dredman2010 · Apr 26, 2009, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by pathisfer

When we are different from other people it can often leave us feeling disconnected and isolated if we tend to focus on why 'they don't understand us'. Some of your statements like "their ignorance" leads me to believe that you don't feel like you have any thing to gain from connecting with others, that since they are not your intellectual equal, they have nothing to offer. This is why you are lonely, it's your own ignorance of what others actually have to offer you, not their ignorance. Try changing your mindset.

Thank you for this. I will change my view somewhat because I honestly do not know what they could offer me

mudweiser · Apr 26, 2009, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by dredman2010

i see wat u mean but this is not the case. in school i keep to myself. i do not act arrogant or anything along those lines. i try to get along with the people. some pretend and some just dont care but it is plain to me that they dont really like me.

You keep to yourself. That's the problem. You just said it.

Sarah

mudweiser · Apr 26, 2009, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by dredman2010

thank you for this. i will change my view somewhat because i honestly do not know what they could offer me

Offer you? How about a friend. I have a friend who thinks that a step ladder is a dance move; she's a good friend. It's not about who's smarter or who's better it's about having a connection with somebody.

If you go out looking for what people can offer you then prepare yourself for a lonely life. I bet once you find people who think like you , you'll instantly become bored.

Sarah

pathisfer · Apr 26, 2009, 07:24 PM

There are many more gifts people have in this world than intellectual ability. While your gift makes you superior academically, it is probably the least important in the big scheme of things when it comes to living a fulfilling, meaningful life. Perhaps you can start seeking to understand others and start to grasp the things that they have mastered- friendship.

dredman2010 · Apr 26, 2009, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by mudweiser

Offer you? How about a friend. I have a friend who thinks that a step ladder is a dance move; she's a good friend. It's not about who's smarter or who's better it's about having a connection with somebody.

If you go out looking for what people can offer you then prepare yourself for a lonely life. I bet once you find people who think like you , you'll instantly become bored.

Sarah

Thank you but I have to disagree. I am always challenging myself. Whether it be sports or in my home life I push. No one around me has my ambition to improve and gain. I need someone to match me, to challenge me.

mudweiser · Apr 26, 2009, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by dredman2010

thank you but i have to disagree. i am always challenging myself. whether it be sports or in my home life i push. no one around me has my ambition to improve and gain. i need someone to match me, to challenge me.

I find it hard to believe that there are no potential friends. There is always at least one. I think your just making it hard on yourself an other to actually like you.

You say you are intellectually smart? In what way? Math? Science?

I'm afraid your coming off as a pointdexter.

Sarah

Nestorian · Apr 26, 2009, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by dredman2010

thank you but i have to disagree. i am always challenging myself. whether it be sports or in my home life i push. no one around me has my ambition to improve and gain. i need someone to match me, to challenge me.

What kinds of challenges Might those be?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 26, 2009, 07:39 PM

Actually no, you are expecting or wanting people to be different than what they are,

It seems you may have burnt a lot of bridges by not accepting others as they are. If and when a person things they are too better than others, they soon find others may be a lot better in other areas that they lack in, as in social skills for one.

If you want a mental challenge, play chess with someone online from NY or Russia

Or teach yourself latin and greek.

If you want friends, accept people like they are.

I have as much fun coon hunting with my friends in south GA as I do going to the Opera with friends from Atlanta. It is all in how I look at things.

0rphan · Apr 27, 2009, 10:43 AM

Hi dreman...

Your only 17... your whole life in front of you.

It's fine that you have more knowledge than most, you should be proud of yourself, maybe you can share some of your knowledge, offer a help in hand to people less fortunate around you, rewards are enormous and you will develop lots of friends in time.

You come across as being a leader, why not join a football team, rugby, snooker, tennis whatever you enjoy most... teach the younger ones your know how.

If that's not your thing, make an effort to get to know a few of the other pupils your with on a daily basis... go for a coffee, watch a film, a jog around the block... anything that will spark off a conversation, this will eventually grow to yourself being invited over for coffee etc...

This world is full of all kinds of different people, who have thoughts and opinions about almost everything... we are all originals.

You need to come lower down the pole to intermingle and not remain aloof at the top.

Do something outrageous... just for a change

meecy12 · May 3, 2009, 06:50 PM

Kind of wish I could meet you because I feel the same way

a-s-m-i-8-9 · May 4, 2009, 12:30 PM

If You Are different than other people that's a good thing
cause everyone else is like each other
and they are boring
Don't Put Yourself under pressure and say this things
you should Go forward and keep them behind you
So one Day they Will Come To you And At that Time You Won't Need Them
wish you luck =)