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    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #41

    Apr 25, 2009, 03:47 PM

    You are stronger than you think... if it helps to break the ice, write your fiancé a letter and hand it to him. Let him know you need to share with him something that has been causing you so much stress and worry. I think you may be surprised at his reaction when you share the situation, your worry, and your fears.

    Hope it works out well for you.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #42

    Apr 25, 2009, 03:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissy1021 View Post
    I have always made sure that the guy that I am with has been tested before sleeping with him.
    So, the guy let's you look at his lab results? How do you know he's telling you the truth?
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    chrissy1021 Posts: 20, Reputation: 5
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    #43

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    So, the guy let's you look at his lab results? How do you know he's telling you the truth?
    I guess I just assumed since before having sex I was in a committed relationship for 5+ months and I completely trusted the guy...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #44

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissy1021 View Post
    I guess I just assumed since before having sex I was in a committed relationship for 5+ months and I completely trusted the guy...
    When you assume you make an a$$ out of u and me. Never assume, it just leads to trouble.

    Committed relationship or not, you have to look out for number one. Is having an orgasm worth risking AIDs or any other STD?

    It's too late to change the past, but you can change the future.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #45

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:13 PM
    Hun, NEVER assume when it comes to your health. People get embarrassed and lie.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #46

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    When you assume you make an a$$ out of u and me.
    Got to spread the love. I was just typing that and decided to delete it. :eek:
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    chrissy1021 Posts: 20, Reputation: 5
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    #47

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:15 PM
    I know all of this is true... I am horrible about assuming the best in people...
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #48

    Apr 25, 2009, 04:51 PM

    Not horrible, You just have to start taking care of yourself better. Just do not assume anymore as far as your health is concerned.
    chrissy1021's Avatar
    chrissy1021 Posts: 20, Reputation: 5
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    #49

    Apr 25, 2009, 05:51 PM

    Thanks everyone for all of your posts...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #50

    Apr 25, 2009, 06:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissy1021 View Post
    Thanks everyone for all of your posts...
    That's why we're here. Keep us posted. We're here if you need to talk.

    Good luck to you, I hope everything works out.
    Anonomoustandi's Avatar
    Anonomoustandi Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #51

    Sep 25, 2009, 01:42 AM
    Something like that happened to me.. although I diddnt cheat, my ex and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom... but the agony of not knowing what the baby would look like until it came out, the possibility of bringing a bi-racial child into a racist family was more than I could bear. I knew I could not terminate the pregnancy because I think life is the only choice except in certain circumstances but his impending birth was not looked forward to, but rather dreaded. I felt like my body was being violated, I diddnt want him in there, I wanted him gone.
    When the day did finally come, everyone held their breath. But he had the nerve to come out dark purple! I just kept crying looking and looking and checking the back of his hands and feet trying to decipher his coloring. He pinked up after a few miniuts.
    I am sure I would have loved him no matter what color he did come out as. But having dreaded his birth for so long and the stress that the pregnancy brought into my life did have a negative effect on our relationship. Every mothers worst fear when she has a second child came true. I diddnt love the second baby as much as my first, at least not instantly. I had to make a conscious effort to build a relationship with him but to this day, he is still much closer to my sister than he is to me. I will most likely always have that twinge of guilt about how much I resented my poor baby who diddnt do anything wrong while I was pregnant with him.

    This thread is 5 months old at this point. So you have already made your decision. I just wanted to share my story with you.
    Anonomoustandi's Avatar
    Anonomoustandi Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #52

    Sep 25, 2009, 01:58 AM

    Im sorry, I just re-read that, the point I was trying to make, is that if you did decide to keep your baby, please look forward to its birth as much as you can. Make an effort from the beginning to bond with your baby. Hold it as much as you can. Celebrate what it is bringing to your life, not what it could take away from it.
    If you decided to terminate, I cannot say that I blame you, it definitely was the easiest way out.
    If you decided to carry it through but put it up for adoption then I applaud you.

    No matter what you decided to do, I am sure that your decision was made with much thought. Good luck to you

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