[colonel7]

Yeah but she gave me a great birthday on April 7th. Prob the best somebody ever could have. My friends say if she's doing this now, it will just get worse. Like I said this is the worst because I think of her all the time. What if I did it different. If I told her from the get go. Things would be different, I know that for a fact. She told so. What I want to know is how can a girl can't forgive a mistake. I mean I didn't cheat on her, an what she said to me "she doesn't want to cry an always wonder if I'm telling her the truth". How can you get a girl to regain trust in you. I'm ashamed to say that I have been untruthful with a girlfriend in the past but I did regain that persons trust because they forgave me. On Thursday I gave her flowers an a card where I explained why I did what I did, and a lot of it has to do with my fathers cancer. It's bad an his chance for making it thro is not good. My father is the one who said that I should push the move in date back because I might have to take care of my mom. An that's not an excuse why I did what I did. Somebody help me. Somebody tell me how to regain the trust of the woman I love

[talaniman]

If things are this crazy and confusing now, I hate to see what happens in 2 months.

Your strangers still, and it doesn't take a genius to know she is pushing to fast, and your only to eager to go along. Not a good sign.

There are enough red flags here to stop you dead in your tracks.

[colonel7]

Everybody is right on this page.. there are plenty of red flags going off.. I'm just realizing that, we had an argument on Friday when I picked up my stuff, she has way to many trust issues to deal with, an now that I talk to more of my friends they are saying the same thing, she's nuts an I should run, fast! I haven't spoken too her in 2 days now, an I'm going to try to avoid her... although I do love her, she needs to get her head straight an figure out how to trust me, an not think I'm lying to her every time we talk.. in the end its her loss

[makapuu]

Buying a house, and who you bought it from has no bearing on your girlfriend, so I don't know why it would make her so upset. She seems like she wants to know every aspect of your life, even if it has nothing to do with her. She also seems like she'll check up on you, and if anything is not in place, you are in for an emotional rollercoaster ride.

You've met one of her ex's and it appears that he knows what you are going through. Do you love her enough to live with her mood swings, and the fact that she involves her parents?

[makapuu]

It sounds like you have a good support group of friends. You need to stick with them to help you through this. You cannot hide who you are from your friends, and they will keep you on track when you are blinded by love.

[lucia1982]

If she has mood swings mate, she will properly change her mind in an day and miss you again, if you love her just hang in there, but only if you think she loves you back, but do not run into marriage and kids. If you don't think she loves you move on. Hope you get what you want mate. X

[colonel7]

I love her so much. I just don't know what to do. I want to just try and talk to her. But I know that's a bad idea. Really I want her back in my life. I went golfing the last two days an my buddys are getting sick of hearing me talk of her. They think she's nuts for doing what she did. An they way she talked of kids an getting married so fast. But I would give anything just to be with her right now. I even went to church an prayed. My first time to go on a Sunday in twenty years. Maybe I'm as crazy as she is. Haha. Well do I sit around an just wait or what should I do??

[liz28]

You moved toooooo fast with this girl. The two of you only been together for a month and the two of you were talking married and you was ready to purpose?

Get over her by not focusing on her. Take it day by day. This girl was no good for you and you could do better. Work on yourself and use this time to hang out with friends. Don't play any sad music or watch any love movies. Ask God for strength to get over her and don't ask that he brings the two of you back together.

[colonel7]

It's tough because when you meet that one it just feels so right! Like a soul-mate. I known this girl since 8th grade but we haven't talked in 14 years. I know 3 of her ex boyfriend. They're all s, an I know how she was treated. When you find a person like we connect it hurts. I know this is how she was molded by the exs so I was starting in this relationship behind the eightball l, an any little mistake I did would be pusicuted. The worst part all my friends are married or engaged, so it's tough to talk with friends or hang out with them. So most of the time I'm alone. How can I get her back?

[liz28]

You can't always get want you want so the best thing for you to do is stop focusing on your friends relationship.

Okay they are married and some engaged but you need to realize that is them. Not you!

You feel alone because you don't someone right now and that is a normal feeling. Embrace it because you don't need someone just because.

[colonel7]

Your right. But this whole thing is pretty much my fault. I kind of like haven this break yet I want somebody there for me to cuddle with. She has 2 dogs that would jump into bed with us. It was like a happy family. I haven't tried to get ahold her. I'm waiting for her to contact me. That might never happen. I even apologized to her parents. Should I expect a response from them?

[liz28]

No! Why don't you get a dog for yourself? Dogs are a man best friend you know. I have two, a black lab and a pitbull.

[colonel7]

She had a chocolate lab an a Kentucky coon hound. I'm thinking about getting a chocolate lab myself. A female. I think I'll go find a good litter of them an find one. You said you can't always get what you want , but if you try sometimes you get what you need.

If she comes back then she does. I love her. But it's the ultimate is what it is

[liz28]

Needs and wants are two separate things. Do I need a lexus or do I just want a lexus? Hmmm

Your confusing the two. Do you need her in your life or do you want her in your life?

[colonel7]

I think I need her in my life. She did in that one month straightn some things out for me. Her friends an her just deleted me off there Facebook. They had a sleepover last night. I guarantee I was a topic of conversation. Ughh I do need her in my life. All my other exs where so different. She seems to be the most normal girl I've ever dated. I think my exs molded me as well to have to act like this

[liz28]

I don't think you do. Your just fix on having her in your life.

Sitting around waiting for her to decide if and when she wants to be will do more harm then good.

You can't get someone back when they don't want to be with. You can even waste your money on those crazy ebooks on "how to win to her back" but again it would just be a waste of money.

I can understand your going through a funk spell right now but you need to get out of it. But it starts with you and with you changing your way of thinking.

[colonel7]

Those ebooks don't work? A friend of mine said he used one an him an his fiancé are getting married next month. He was in the same situation as me. Molded by his exs he had lied to his girlfriend she dumped him now they're happy. An love each other. Your right though. I do stew on it too much.

[colonel7]

Well I haven't talked to my ex in person in 6 days an haven't heard from her since Friday. No contact at all. Do you think she is thinking of me? I'm going crazy now. I just want to try to get ahold of her but I know that might just push her away. I'm going crazy. Now I'm getting depressed

[Justwantfair]

6 days is like 20% of the whole relationship correct?

I think you need to take a peek at the codependency link.

Codependency & Recovery from codependent relationships

Maybe you can figure out why after one month, you are obsessed. Way too much too soon.

[colonel7]

I know but I felt like we where together 6 years. Which was great. I've been reading a lot of stuff online. How to get her back. Using phycology on her an stuff we liked doing together