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colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 11:41 AM

Today I gave some flowers an wrote an apology to my gf/exgf, don't know what she is... do girls actually like that stuff? It came from the heart

mudweiser · Apr 30, 2009, 11:45 AM

I don't like apologies if they are for repeated offenses or something that didn't offend me to begin with.

Just my opinon.

Sarah

HistorianChick · Apr 30, 2009, 11:46 AM

Yes. I like an apology. But only one.

I don't like apology after apology after apology.

Mistakes happen. Habits are made.

Justwantfair · Apr 30, 2009, 11:47 AM

WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR A ONE MONTH RELATIONSHIP.

Why in the world after one month are you ready to propose?

colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 11:48 AM

OK , I just read your message , I took the flowers earlier in the morn.. she said a couple days away is what she needed.. an I total respect that.. yet what I wrote to her is what she wants to hear, an what I needed to do.. yet I'm not all to blame, she's the one who asked me about marriage, she asked me to move in, an just this past weekend she was talking to both our moms, an joking who would be the better grandmother of our kids!!

colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 11:50 AM

She asked me how long do you need to be in a relationship before you think to get married.. I said 10-12 months, she said she could spot it right away.. 2 weeks ago she said if I proposed to her on her birthday may 14 she would say yes...

I wish · Apr 30, 2009, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by colonel7

ok, well ill take ur advice, but earlier today i sent her some flowers, an wrote an apology to her.. i havent spoken to her in two days, its killing me.

That's not going to help your situation. She doesn't need attention from you, she needs space from you. You're doing the exact opposite of what she wants and needs. This could mess you up because she will think that you can't respect her wishes. If you can't do something as simple as give her space, then how can she count on you to do something more important? Just stay away until BOTH of you are ready to face each other again.

Apologies are fine if that's what they are looking for. But in your situation, she's not looking for an apology, she's looking for a break.

Originally Posted by colonel7

ok , i just read your message , i took the flowers earlier inthe morn.. she said a couple days away is what she needed.. an i total respect that.. yet what i wrote to her is what she wants to hear, an what i needed to do.. yet im not all to blame, shes the one who asked me about marriage, she asked me to move in, an just this past weekend she was talking to both our moms, an joking who would be the better grandmother of our kids!!!

If she tells you to jump off a building will you do that too?

Don't you have any self-control? She's obviously very confused abuot her feelings. One day she's at one extreme and the next day she's at the other extreme. But for some reason, you keep focusing on one extreme, without realizing that she is confused. Just leave her alone until she sorts it out.

colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 11:52 AM

Yes this only happened once.. an I made it clear that it will never hppen again.. she apolgized to me on Saturday saying she has trust issues an is working on them

colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 11:53 AM

OK.. I will, I will keep you in contact with what happens

Justwantfair · Apr 30, 2009, 12:11 PM

How about acting like a 31 yo and not a flighty head strung teenager.

This about a immature and childish as it gets.

TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE MONTH.

Leave her alone. Spend some time on you.

liz28 · Apr 30, 2009, 01:51 PM

Okay, it is good that you apology and hopefully it was a heart felt one but once you apology that is it. That's all you can do and the receiver of the apology can it accept it or not.

It sounds like she is battling her own issues so you need to gjve her what she asked for space. That is all you can do.

colonel7 · Apr 30, 2009, 02:32 PM

Well she just replied too me just now, she said "thank you for the flowers and the note. i appreciate the truth, i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning, you can get your things, let me know when." the note I gave her I pored my heart into it... and I get that? What should I do?

I wish · Apr 30, 2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by colonel7

i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning

What part of her being confused do you not understand? She's just being polite by thanking you, don't see it as anything more... leave her alone already

Originally Posted by colonel7

you can get your things, let me know when

That means she wants to get rid of your stuff so that she can get you out of her mind

It's time to move on...

liz28 · Apr 30, 2009, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by colonel7

well she just replied too me just now, she said "thank you for the flowers and the note. i appreciate the truth, i dont know about 2nd chances, my head is spinning, you can get your things, let me know when." the note i gave her i pored my heart into it... and i get that?! what should i do?

Get your things and move on because she doesn't want you.

N0help4u · Apr 30, 2009, 03:11 PM

Yep give up on her it sounds like she has made some decisions that do not include you.
When girls talk about marriage when you first meet they are talking from emotion and the newness of something they want to work but then reality sets in and they change their mind.

colonel7 · May 2, 2009, 10:00 AM

Threads merged

My exgf wants to take a break.. we got into an argument yesterday, an now she says don't bother her anymore... two days before that she said she wants to get married? I haven't tried to get in contact with her, she also said her parents where mad at me, I just wrote the parents an apology letter.. because they had nothing to do with the break, I also ran into one of her exs, just 10 minutes ago, he said she's crazy an broke up with her because of her ever constant mood swings.. I'm not desperate, I love this woman, an I can go out tonight an meet a new woman with no problem.. what do I do?

lighterrr · May 2, 2009, 10:31 AM

Well give her time if that is what she is asking for. If going out is what you feel like doing they its simple do it. Maybe she will come around in time and you'll still be available.

shazamataz · May 2, 2009, 11:47 AM

If she is having constant mood swings maybe there is a deeper issue going on with her.
Have you ever discussed this with her, does she take any medications?

Give her space, she needs time to cool off. If she wants to renew the relationship she will contact you.

It's hard when that happens because she obviously needs space but on the other hand if she doesn't hear from you for days she might think you don't care. It's impossible to say what is going on in her mind. You could try messaging her in in a few days and see if she replies, if she doesn't then don't contact her further until she contacts you.
The letter to her parents was very kind though, not many people would think of that.

colonel7 · May 2, 2009, 03:38 PM

Ok thank you for the help. She thinks that I lied to her. I didn't tell her the complete truth. I bought a house an I never told her that it was my grandmothers. I kept telling her that it was a couple. But there is some other reasons. Like I might be losen my job at the post office, I never meant to hurt her. She has been cheated on in her past 5 relationships. An I would never do that to her. Her birthday is coming up may 14th an I bought her a heart shaped diamond necklace. She said not to leave anything at her door. Do I give it to her? I love this girl more than anything in life. I hope her parents can accept my apology too. Because I said the same thing to them about the house. Ughh I wish I could turn back the clock an make it right. Any advice?

sabrewolfe · May 2, 2009, 03:45 PM

Hold on to that necklace for now, don't give it to her until you know things are resolved between you. She might take it as you trying to buy your way out of the situation.