[stuie]

Been with my girlfriend for around 18mths , she is younger than me by 8 yrs she is 19 , when we first met it was almost every night but recently its gone to once a month if I'm lucky.

Ive asked her several times what's wrong but all she says is she has a low sex drive and feels like I'm asking too much.

I just think its really odd that its gone from every night to this without warning.

She has had several inter-racial relationships until me don't know what's going on.

Any ideas??

[Justwantfair]

Why do you believe that an interracial relationship would have an affect on her current sex drive.

Personally, my partner will irritate me when he comes at me with the same moves or even just asks about sex...

When is the last time that you did something new?
Had a conversation about what you / she likes most?
Text her something sexy in the middle of the day?

I would start trying some new things to spice up your sex life. Also, eight years is a tremendous age gap when you are crossing into the below twenty and almost thirty range. There are some huge variations of maturity in those two age groups.

I would guess that you have other problems outside of the bedroom. Outside problems will carry over to her excitement to join you in the bedroom.

[stuie]

That's fine but I have tried things along those lines , if she has a low sex drive why was it not evident at the start of the relationship?
I'm just concerned that can't or won't talk to me about it as I feel we could easily before.

[Justwantfair]

I don't feel it's probably a matter of a low sex drive.

Relationships when they are new and fresh are exhilerating. You think and long for your new partner all day and revish him every night.

Now things aren't new, you have to find your way of keeping the relationship fresh. New moves, not the routine ones that she is aware of. If you aren't talking about sex like you were before perhaps you aren't keeping that fire burning either.

Personally, when I have sex often, it's often on my mind.

If I go without it for a while, I realize I am just fine without sex and don't really think about it. Sex is mental, find a way to get back into her thoughts.

[nikosmom]

She has had several inter-racial relationships until me dont know whats going on.

What does this have to do with sex with you?

Are you worrried that she may be getting sex elsewhere?

I agree with Justy in that you may have to put more into getting her in the mood. Sex for women starts outside of the bedroom. Romance her before it actually gets to the physical part.

[smoothy]

Interacial relationships in her past has ZERO to do with this...

Something in THIS relationship very well might. What are YOU doing differently... what is SHE doing differently that you used to do when you were doing it every day? I'll bet something changed.

[Lowtax4eva]

I don't really agree with any of this... I think your just asking too much and it's kind of killing the mood for her all the time.

STOP ASKING ALL THE TIME, just tell her your sorry for asking for it all the time and the next time it can be her idea. Then don't mention it again and wait till she wants it. Maybe after she sees you can be cool about it she will feel like doing it more often.

[chrissymarie]

Is she using you for money, dates or presents maybe? I mean you are a lot older than her... she's still a teenager.

[Homegirl 50]

Maybe she was just in it for the thrill of being with an older guy and now the thrill is gone. AS young as she is, the low sex drive thing is questionable and the interracial thing has nothing to do with it IMO
If you two are not sexually compatible, move on. It's not like you're married.
She may want to be with someone closer to her age.

[Xrayman]

Inter-racial?

Sorry, I have no idea why this would have any bearing on her sex drive.

Were her other lovers "different" physically/sexually/emotionally due to their race??

What do you mean?

I'm sure if you give us some further info we could answer a lot better.

Cheers.

[kp2171]

So...

You don't think that the start of a relationship has often an amped feel?

Hmmm...

I do.

I just think most relationships go through an early stage of intense emotion and physical stim that often trails off to some degree over time. That doesn't mean it always goes from great to glum...

It just means eventually most people fall to whatever their "baseline" place is... and I believe her when she says her drive is usually lower.

She's had you. She knows your smell and taste and all the rest.

I'm not saying it OK for her to toss physical needs to the side... I AM saying she might simply be incompatible with you sexually.

Early on, the "new boy" factor primed her. Now... she's back to her old ways.

Or the demands of a relationship might wear on her.

Or whatever.

All you know is this... you've talked to her and she's said "too bad, im just like this"

So... you get to choose. Stay and accept it or leave. Its your choice.

I don't believe she did anything to deliberately deceive you. I've had lovers do the same thing... more interested, more engaged at the beginning. I think its human nature.

But when things fall to that "baseline level"... if you two don't have enough overlap... well there you go... there's a potential problem that just might not get solved.