[ciaobonefish]

Sooo. My mom won't let me date. Period. Its for religious perposes but I don't feel the same way she does. I always find a guy I like and then she ruins it. I had a pretty serious relationship last year. We hid it from my mom for over a year but complications with distance and my mom ultimately broke us up.

I've recently started liking this guy and he likes me too. I like him quite a lot. We were supposed to do something this week but my mom found out and made me stay home. I'm grounded and I have no idea when I will even e able to talk to him.

I'm tired of having to live by what my family says but I don't want to break their hearts by going against them. I've decided that ill stick to her rules while I'm under her roof. But after next year (im a junior this year) when I go off to college I'm living my life how I want to and she can't do anything about it. She knows this. She knows once I hit college I'm gone. I don't want to be my mom enemy I just want to live my life in a way that I am happy.

So back to the guy problem. I know I really really like him. The relationship has so much potential. So what should I do about him. Should I attempt to stay friends in the hopes that when I go to college we'll give it a shot? He's a year older than me and is going to college himself. Should I give up on him? Should I ask him to wait for me? Will he even wait? Is that too selfish of me?

See my dilema? I don't know what to do. I like him a lot.

[earl237]

I'm glad to hear that you are going to live your life the way you want when you go to college. You only live once and you can't please everyone so live your life and don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Since you really like this guy, I would keep seeing him. I don't normally recommend disobeying parents but you seem to be a sensible person and I think that your mom is being a bit too strict. Just because she is religious doesn't mean you have to be. Keep things on the qt and don't let your mom run your life.

[mudweiser]

Have a close friendship with him. Get to know him better. Invite him to dinner so he can meet your parents, go out with him on group dates. If he is a good guy I am sure your parents will see that and after a while of them knowing him you can ask them if you can start dating him.

Sometimes with religious parents they have religion as a big shield and they don't like guys popping out of nowhere.

Here's a scenario :

You "Mom I like Tom I want him to be my boyfriend"

Parents "No Billy-Jean! We don't know him! He's not a ______"

Getting to know him now is very beneficial; you'll learn things from each other, you will see if he truly does care about you and if you truly care about him- there is no point in rushing. One thing I have learned is that if you start fast you'll burn out fast. Slow and steady wins the race.

You don't want to get into a serious relationship now, you will be going to college soon and that is time for fun [and studies], the "sudden boyfriend syndrome" will just anger your parents and it will cause havoc in your relationship- maybe even damage it completely. You don't want to be tied down in high school or your first year in college. Take it slow m'dear and it will be worth the wait.

Sarah

[tinka_bell]

Sometimes parents have good motives but crazzzzzed ways of showing this. I'd advise you to ask your parents their(MOM)is their anything that besides religion that keeps them from permitting you to date. Sometimes parents try to run their kids lives in hope of keeping them away from the hardships they faced growing up. Yes, the way you describe your mom sounds very strict but high school years shouldn't be spent thinking about serious relationships. It should be about one getting and education and two finding/ developing yourself. Think wisely and maturely:) -hope this helps
Sincerely,
-aN0Nymous 16 yr. old