[turtlelove]

5 years ago I met the man of my dreams. I love him to pieces, and I know that he loves me... well I think he does. Lately it has been getting really bad, he practically ignores me, he never holds my hand, or even touch me for that matter, we haven't had sex in like 2 months, we sleep with separate blankets and there is a lot more that goes on, but I think you get the point. You know I told him years ago that we should start talking about our relationship and he just blew me off. I try talking to him about how he is neglecting me emotionally and physically and he says he doesn't see the problem. Now he refuses to talk to me about it. I will ask him a question and he won't say a thing. Nothing. I know he hears me but to me it seems like he just doesn't care anymore. I don't think I am over reacting. I want more from him. It's like when we are walking somewhere together he is always 10 steps ahead of me even though he knows I am not beside him. We rarely kiss either. Not even when we do have sex. I went away for a long weekend and I thought maybe if I go away he would appreciate me more when I got home... wishful thinking. He said he missed me, but as soon as I got back it started all over again. I tried to go down on him and he got up and walked away, he said he was thirsty and I then I asked him if I was bugging him and he said yes and went over and sat in another chair. I mean if that isn't a sign that he is not into me anymore, I don't know what is. When we have a conversation(if I'm lucky enough to get even a few words) I always have to ask him to get an answer, for example: "How was your day?" he says "fine" I say "what did you do" he says "nothing" and then I usually go away after that. It like he doesn't care that I am trying so hard to reach out to him and connect a little more. I managed to talk a little to him after that and he said he was frustrated and bored. That's all he would say and trying to get that out of him was like pulling teeth. He never does the things he used to... flowers, jewelry, fancy dinners(he would make them), now he says he is always to tired and has a bad memory so he doesn't remember important dates(like my birthday). He is so closed up, and it's frustrating for me. What do you think? I want to try to work things out, but when he is unhelpful I don't know how to handle it.

P.S. He bought me a promise ring about 1 1/2 years into our relationship and I wear it proudly every single day. I hinted about marriage a while ago and he says he never wants to get married because my parents and his parents are both divorced. How should I take that?

[myuz]

U need to let him go and he will realise how bad he has been to you. HOw he needs to change. Have you gained weight or anything like that lately or in the past few years? NO offense... BUt I'm curious. SOunds like he's not as attracted to you now as he once was. I say to take a break from him , and see if he changes, if he doesn't he's not the man of your dreams.

[turtlelove]

Yes I have gained weight actually. I was about 140 when we started dating and now I'm about 175. I have lost a lot of self confidence because of the weight issue. I don't want to lose him. I just wish I could make him see what I am going through.

[myuz]

But you are not happy with him now. SO you need to let him go and for him to realise what a schmuck he has been. Your situation sounds very similar to the one my ex and I were in. Unfortunately I think I may have lost her for good. In the meantime maybe try to do things to attract him to you again like was at one time. Wear some nice panties and bra, or do your hair real nice, take up a gym pass(unless you already have one). Im very sorry to hear how you feel in your relationship. Must be tough. My ex told me she needs time( my thread is right by yours) and I really think I might be too late.

[plonak]

I know that you have been with this dude for a while but you need to come to terms that the relationship is over and has probably been for some time now..

You clearly tried to show that you wanted to work on it, he clearly showed that he didn't care..

He said it with his own words, he's frustrated and bored.. you need to listen to that!!! and it's not just going to go away someday

This guy is a jerk and he doesn't deserve you.. you need to leave him for yourself.. you need to work on yourself confidence

A relationship should never be your whole life, it should be a nice addition..

I suggest that you just leave.. he doesn't need anymore discussions or explainations.. it's been a long time coming.. go and get yourself a man who deserves your time

[talaniman]

It looks like he is trying to make you leave through his actions. I think you should. You will never get anything you need from him.

[myuz]

Hey talaniman, could you maybe check out my thread one "dating 4.5 years she needs space and time"

[Dare81]

Looks like either he is trying tp push you away or he has someone else in his life.Either way you shouldn't be in relationship where you have to force the other person to be in relationship with you

[teastalk]

I think this guy is not in the relationship. I hope you dump him. He sounds like a jerk. I know you can do better. If you aren't happy in this relationship, something's wrong, and it's not you. You told him you wanted to work on it, he didn't want to.

[mtoma]

Well not necessarily, maybe you just trying to hard and come across as needy. I recomand you read the book why men love *****es. Great laugh and very much on theme.