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layla36 · Apr 14, 2009, 10:32 PM

My husband was 15 years old he went to go spend the night at a friends house he made a mistake and got intoxicated with his friend his friends sister and her friends well anyway his sister was 19 at the time and my husband was highly intoxicated and woke up the next morning and went home. Well six years later almost 7 years later he got a paper in the mail saying he had a child who is now 7 yrs old. He thought it was a joke that someone was just playing or blaming him so he coperated with the child support and did genetic testing. It was a perfect match. He then said the last time he saw this women was that night and had no idea he was with her. Now I know he was in the wrong of drink but that doesn't excuse her of being an adult for one, being at her house 2 and providing the alcohol 3. now the statue of limition is 7 years she failed to tell my husband of this child until the statue of limition was only weeks from being up. Now if my husband had no idea he was sexually assulted how could he have filed a sexual report on her. Now he is stuck with all the finanicial responsibility of this child who he has no relationship with? Please help thanks

mudweiser · Apr 14, 2009, 11:24 PM

Since the offense took a long time ago I'm afraid there may be no legal recourse for you to take. However, it is best to talk to the police or your district attorney to find out all to find out all the options that you have available to you.

When it comes to paying child support to a child you didn't know existed it really depends upon state/province. Since he fathered the child without his knowledge, some states/provinces may be more lenient than others when it comes to "unintentional fathers". In all this you need to hire a lawyer. Even with DNA, you need to find ways to prove it was not consent, it will be difficult, if DNA is positive, you'll need a good lawyer to prove it was without his consent.

Keep note that the child's mother hid the fact that he was a father, perhaps a lawyer can prove that, then you may be able to claim that.

Best of luck to you!
Sarah

excon · Apr 15, 2009, 05:54 AM

Hello l:

Couple things...

Your husband is NOT going to get out of paying child support if the mother is charged, if that's what you think...

The next thing is, no matter what happened 7 years ago, why would he want to put the mother of his child in jail??

excon

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:17 AM

NO my husband is a very dedicaded father and would have supported this child if he had know but this woman failed to tell him for 7 years and he is best friends with this women's brother just as long she was hiding something this who time if she really wanted my husband to be apart of his life I think she could have found him. But any way back on subject. WE have a special needs child who is 3 with multiple diabilities and my mother passed away in 2007 we took in my two brothers who are 11yrs and 2years old not only that but we have a another child who I was pregnant. With when we found out all this so if your say my husband is trying to weezle out of this your wrong he just feels dicriminated for being a man and her being a woman and feels he has really been messed over by this woman now he tried see the little boy she won't allow it we just don't understand how she has leverage over a hard working man when she was at fault in the first place she is very lucky my husbands parents didn't know because if that were to happen today a 15 year old having sexual intercourse with a 19 that 19 year old would be held accountable no matter if the 15 year old concented or not it does not matter but to take advantage of a 15 year old boy who was drunk come on now this is sick and wrong my husband feels ashamed of it and all anyone can say is your just trying to weezle your way out I know he loves the little boy but what can he do?

mudweiser · Apr 15, 2009, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by layla36

but what can he do?

Get a lawyer.

Sarah

Justwantfair · Apr 15, 2009, 08:23 AM

It seems an extreme story that your husband has to explain his paternity to this child.

Not trying to be mean, but I wouldn't buy it, if I were sitting on the jury. It would be terribly difficult to prove especially now. So even if he could press charges where would he go from there? You can always consult with an attorney.

In his position I would rather focus my time now on catching up on all the missed time with the child. Revenge isn't going to make him feel better.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:26 AM

IM sorry excon I forgot to answer your question well for one she has taken more then my husbands freedom away she has put us in financial debt she has taken from our kids! Who have lost enough already I might add! she has caused hurt and pain for him his family it's a game to her she doesn't care she raped my husband and is still tormenting him with the results and DOES NOT CARE this needs to be brought to justice she needs to know SHE cannot weezzle out of the system he's being labeled as the badd guy because he's the guy she can not do this its wrong she is the one trying to play tricks not us we were doing very until she Limited us and our kids to what we can do the courts don't see that and they don't even allow him to explain his case in court Because its not relevant!. hummmmm YEs it is she could be held responsible for all of it. Well all I can say is All this has to hit the surface some time right? Time will Tell

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:29 AM

YOU know I completely understand what you guys are saying its not revenge its justice! To live with this is one thing but for it to drag on and on is wrong and tormenting! As for the son we have tried several time to see him contact him she won't allow it but she will allow the money she live in a completely different state she moved there when she found out she was pregnant with the boy

MsMewiththat · Apr 15, 2009, 08:30 AM

I'm curious to know where you live? Given the situation I would believe there is something you can do. Tell me where did you learn of the limitation on the statue?

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:34 AM

As far as proving if he was raped or not... Ya he was 15 she was 19 doesn't make it right! Even if he concented but he didn't concent he didn't even know he had sex with this women! She went and hid for 7 years come on now isn't it too much of a quinsidence that she came out with this when she knew darn well what time it was ( time for the statue of limitation was up) I don't buy that! Not only that but went into hiding when she found out she was pregnant.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:36 AM

I live in Idaho what is funny is this happened on a small Indian reservation called duck valley reservation and that reservation is on the border of Idaho and Nevada... yah what a twist right well we thought that to pursue this we would have to go to nev. All the time but comes to find out where this crime had taken place is on the Idaho side so we were in luck there!

MsMewiththat · Apr 15, 2009, 08:47 AM

I guess what I am wondering is does this reservation have a different set of law than Idaho. Idaho H290 (2001) Removes the statute of limitations for rape. Nevada NRS §171.083 Removes statute of limitations for sex assault if victim reported offense to law enforcement.

Which means with the evidence of DNA and the age of the parties involved you have your proof.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:51 AM

Well I talked to the tribal office they said that cases like this would be reported to the fbi and if provn guilty she could be convicted so I don't know if you go to court on the reservation!

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:51 AM

From other cases I heard you go to court off because it is a really big case!

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 08:53 AM

Thanks for your advice I'm going to look into it
The conceived child is also evidence all they have to do is the math I know it won't solve everything. But it's a start!

Justwantfair · Apr 15, 2009, 08:54 AM

Good luck to you.

excon · Apr 15, 2009, 08:57 AM

Hello:

I know you're not interested, but his daughter is going to grow up. She's not going to be too happy about your husband trying to put her mother in jail.

You're making this about the mother and your husband. But, it's really about his daughter...

I'm out of here. This is why I don't answer questions on the family law board... Because the kids always take the beating...

excon

PS> (edited) Correction - the son.

layla36 · Apr 15, 2009, 09:08 AM

To excon When this women does go to jail the boy will be in our custody! We did have him here for a Really short period and during that time he showed serious signs of physical abuse and sexual abuse and when I say that he was telling my 11 year old all about it he was too scared to tell us but for our protection we took him to child protective services to document the stuff this women or the family that backs her up aren't victums as they portray it. She has serious problems she was with a 15 year old that was the first sign the boy is in danger right as we speak we care about him and believe me we thought about this as well but sometimes you have to go through the storm before you get the rainbow.

MsMewiththat · Apr 15, 2009, 09:18 AM

EXCON... see you are a nice guy! I agree with where your heart is.

However, I do feel strongly that there has been so many wrongs here that appear to be orchestrated by her. His time has really been lost with this child which is completely unfair. She has taken a lot of things into her own hands and her actions do seem deliberate.

MsMewiththat · Apr 15, 2009, 09:33 AM

Your correct, Excon, this is rather one sided with some contradiction. Either way it goes. She is correct in saying that a 19 year old and a 15 year old shouldn't have been in this situation and the baby is the proof. What will come of it will remain to be seen. Hopefully they will spare the child the heartache.