[xoxoheartsnluv]

[F] Okay, well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months now. About a month ago, he started giving me these rules. Like; No texing other guys. No talking to other guys. No hugging other guys. I have to agree with everything he says. Think he is controlling? But those are the only things that could make him controlling. He doesn't care if I hang out with my friends and family. He just doesn't want me to communicate with any other guys. Oh, and he made me delete all the guys numbers in my phone. What should I do? And breaking up with him isn't an option.

*** all personal data deleted *** FC

[Justwantfair]

Yes he is controlling, why is breaking up with him not an option?

Control does not equal love.

[Brit01]

Honey,

That's way too much. He has issues needed to be addressed. He's extremely controlling and jealous and it won't get any better.
This is a very unhealthy relationship...

And I am not sure it's a good idea to post your email and myspace URL in here. Careful!

[liz28]

He has major insecurities and your just as silly for not only accepting these rules but actually obeying them.

To answer your question "Is he controling?" Yes, but I think you already knew that.

But why you do care since you stated leaving him is not an option. So I guess your going stay and deal with it.

[chrissymarie]

Yeah he's controlling but all teen guys are controlling, that's why dating when your young is so difficult because you haven't had enough time to control your insecurities. I'd say stick by his side because obviously he cares for you and is not too controlling because he just doesn't want any male taking you away from him. This is understandable but still immature. Just tell him how you feel and start introducing him to the guys you do want as your friends to him. It'll take time for him to grow trust but if he really loves you the trust will grow.

I am assuming you are young (between 13 and 19) correct? Because if not I have a totally different answer.

[babyshooter11]

He is way too controlling and jealous! For no reason. It's a self esteem issue with him. Don't follow those rules if you don't want to. You are your own person and you are perfectly capable of thinking for yourself therefore you have the right to say no. why the hell is he setting "rules" for you? He's not your mother! If breaking up with him is not an option then expect lots of drama and fighting.

[ANB428]

This is how my daughter's father was with me in the beginning of our relationship. I had been excluded from all of my friends and everything. By the end of our relationship he was beating the crap out of me. When I went to all of the Domestic Violence programs and counseling, they told me that someone who is jealous and controlling is a huge sign that they are an abuser and to stay away from them. That is how it all starts. Like I said the first year or so, there was no abuse with my daughter's father and then throughout the last year I was getting beat up. Please beware and do some research on domestic violence and the signs of an abuser. Good luck.

[I wish]

First off, you should remove your personal information from your question. We can help you by posting comments. If you want to talk to us individually, this forum provides a private message service.

He is definitely very controlling. He seems very insecure about your relationship. I think that there's a huge lack of trust as well. He doesn't trust you interacting with other guys. Is there something that you did to make him feel this way? How would he feel if you gave him the same restrictions?

Either way, he should be confronting you about his concerns and not giving you orders. I suggest that you stay away from him and move on. Find another guy who won't control you.

[88sunflower]

Love has no boundries. If he is giving you "rules" to follow now, what will it be later. How many female friends does he have? Hmm maybe you should give him the same rules to follow see how he likes it.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, this is not love by any form or means, this is almost to the point of being scared to me.
So what happens if you don't delete things, what happens if you have male friends.

And why is breaking up not a option, you need to run from this type of behavior, it only gets worst and soon you come to expect or need his OK for a lot more

[2ndTime]

Listen to everyone. Your boyfriend has controlling issue and if you stay the course, it may turn out like ANB428's situation.

[jaime90]

He's got some issues. Let him sort them out himself. It's okay for a guy to be protective, and as with any relationship you always want to be sure that you are respecting your boyfriend in your other relationships. (for me, physical contact with another guy that is NOT your boyfriend is a big no-no, but making you delete all the guys off your phone is over the top controlling.) I would talk to him about it. Maybe you can find some middle ground, say... you can hangout with any guys as long as there are other people around, etc?If you do find middle ground, be open about the guys your boyfriend would like you to be cautious with, and guys that you can openly hang out with.

[mfuna]

When a young man places rules on a relationship, it is a sure sign of insecurity. This isn't healthy. I'd walk away from this because some times it may lead to physical abuse.