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tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 05:44 AM

Can a company be sued for the cause of a marital affair? My brothers wife had an affair with a manger at a car dealership whom she met at the car dealership whom the salesman kept pursuing her, calling her from the phone number listed on the application from when she purshased a car. I know that the couple had their own issues but for a manager to take such action from a client of theirs does not seem right to me. Anyway my brother is thinking of filing charges and threathning on going to the media. How can I refer anyone to this dealership, I believe it diminishes the company's reputation and it is unethical. Oh buy the way the, the car manager is also married. Comments Please...

JudyKayTee · Apr 13, 2009, 05:47 AM

No, the dealership has no responsibility. Unless the salesman was holding a gun on her SHE was responsible to say no. You are attempting to hold the wrong person/company responsible. If you are a moderately attractive woman you get approached with some frequency in all sorts of places - you either say yes or no unless, as I said, the person making the approach is armed. People get your phone numbers in all sorts of ways.

It's happened to me. I said no and told my husband. He was a calm, reasonable man who trust me. Next phone call, I picked up and handed the phone to him. End of story.

Your brother is thinking of contacting the media and telling them that the dealership is responsible for his wife having sex with one of their employees? Aside from the embarrassment to HIMSELF I trust the dealership and the employee will then turn around and sue him for slander, defamation, whatever else their corporate Attorney can come up with.

Do you want personal advice?

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2009, 07:06 AM

The only possible way the dealership MIGHT be held responsible is if the wife filed sexual harassment charges against the manager and no action was taken against him.

Otherwise tell your brother to get a divorce and get on with his life.

JudyKayTee · Apr 13, 2009, 07:08 AM

I'm confused - she had an affair with the MANAGER after the salesman kept calling her?

Did she attempt to report the salesman to the manager and then took up with the manager?

this8384 · Apr 13, 2009, 08:15 AM

Do you really think the media cares about 2 people cheating on their spouses? No, they do not. This isn't Desperate Housewives.

Your brother's wife chose to do the wrong thing and that's the end of it. Unless you can prove that the manager somehow brainwashed her to the point she was not capable of making a conscious decision to stay faithful, your brother has no case.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'm confused - she had an affair with the MANAGER after the salesman kept calling her?

Did she attempt to report the salesman to the manager and then took up with the manager?

No the salesman is the manager. But the salesman/manager kept calling her after the purchase of the car. I am just stating that I feel it is unethical and nonprofessional to attempt infedility while at the job. It is the reason of going to the media. Apparently this is not the first time this saleman/manager has done this. Yes she chose to do it, but if I would have told you which dealership this happened at, would you go?

JudyKayTee · Apr 13, 2009, 08:42 AM

Yes, I would buy a car at the dealership. I don't cheat, never have. The manager/salesman could call me from now until the end of time and it wouldn't make a difference. You say, "Stop calling me." He either does and that's the end of that or he doesn't and you go his boss.

If that dealership had the car I want at the price I'm looking for, yes, I would do business there.

I think the truth is somewhere between the wife's story, your brother's story and the manager/salesperson's story. If the wife was so vulnerable that she "took up" with the manager/salesperson and her only explanation is that he kept calling her, they ALL have problems which this thread cannot solve.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Yes, I would buy a car at the dealership. I don't cheat, never have. The manager/salesman could call me from now until the end of time and it wouldn't make a difference. You say, "Stop calling me." He either does and that's the end of that or he doesn't and you go his boss.

If that dealership had the car I want at the price I'm looking for, yes, I would do business there.

I think the truth is somewhere between the wife's story, your brother's story and the manager/salesperson's story. If the wife was so vulnerable that she "took up" with the manager/salesperson and her only explanation is that he kept calling her, they ALL have problems which this thread cannot solve.

So then you agree that it is OK for this manager to call on any other vulnarable female that passes on his lot from the phone listed on the application. I understand that it takes two to tango. But again I find it completely unprofessional and unethical for his sake considering that he himself is married. Do you not agree? Oh wait, it doesn't matter you will still buy there. A private investigator was hired and phone records were collected. That's how she got caught. Im just saying for anyone who is married or in a relationship I would not want to go somewhere where someone is hitting on my husband regardless if I trust him or not.

JudyKayTee · Apr 13, 2009, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by tadaque

So then you agree that it is ok for this manager to call on any other vulnarable female that passes on his lot from the phone listed on the application. I understand that it takes two to tango. But again I find it completely unprofessional and unethical for his sake considering that he himself is married. Do you not agree? Oh wait, it doesnt matter you will still buy there. A private investigator was hired and phone records were collected. Thats how she got caught. Im just saying for anyone who is married or in a relationship I would not want to go somewhere where someone is hitting on my husband regardless if I trust him or not.

Yes, I think the manager is an adult and anyone he calls has the ability to hang up the phone and/or call the Police and/or call his employer.

I do not find his professionalism and ethics to be important here. You are mixing business and "pleasure." He did not have the affair by himself - I assume your sister-in-law (AGAIN!) was a willing participant.

Do you run a background check on everyone you do business with?

As far as someone hitting on your husband and you not wanting him to go here or there - that's your own personal insecurity. My husband was able to go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. We were both out in the World every day. He trusted me to say no; I trusted him to say no. I didn't need to put him on a leash to keep him faithful and he did not need to leash me. If you are that insecure, that's a problem for the relationship board.

I have no idea what the PI told you but phone records are NOT proof of an affair. They are proof that two people talk on the phone. Want to know how I know that? I definitely need more info on this aspect of things.

Are you always this involved in your brother's life and marriage?

Don't believe what has been posted - call the local media, report this behavior and let us know their response.

excon · Apr 13, 2009, 09:12 AM

Hello tad:

Couple things.

When I shop, I'm not interested in the morals of the people I'm buying from. Plus, anybody who goes into a car dealership knows they're going to get screwed.

excon

this8384 · Apr 13, 2009, 09:12 AM

Yes, please do let us know what happens. I want to see which TV station is bored enough to do a story on an affair.

P.S. Except from me, ex ;) Then again, I'm not a "dealership" but a repair shop who also sells cars.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 09:21 AM

Ok. Just wanted to get other opinions on the matter. I thank you all of you for sharing. :)

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2009, 10:58 AM

You are missing the real issue here. Was it unprofessional and unethical for the auto salesman to make advances and pursue a customer or other employee? Of course it was! But unless the dealership was aware of this behavior and did nothing about it, then dealership itself has NO liability. Therefore, any actions against the dealership would not be viable. And anyone making accusationbs against the dealership could find themselves in trouble.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You are missing the real issue here. Was it unprofessional and unethical for the auto salesman to make advances and pursue a customer or other employee? Of course it was! But unless the dealership was aware of this behavior and did nothing about it, then dealership itself has NO liability. Therefore, any actions against the dealership would not be viable. And anyone making accusationbs against the dealership could find themselves in trouble.

Great point Scott, thank you. Should the employer be aware of the situation? What do you think?

JudyKayTee · Apr 13, 2009, 12:05 PM

Was the dealership advised and did nothing? That's the question. After the fact is too late - did you read what Scott said?

They had to be advised and DO NOTHING. Now it is too late.

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2009, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by tadaque

Great point Scott, thank you. Should the employer be aware of the situation? What do you think?

As Judy noted, they would have to be aware of the situation and take no action prior to the wife leaving the husband.

If you can prove what he did, then of course you can report it to the dealership. But they have no liability.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Was the dealership advised and did nothing? That's the question. After the fact is too late - did you read what Scott said?

The had to be advised and DO NOTHING. Now it is too late.

I KNOW... I READ WHAT SCOTT SAID. What I am asking is if I should let the company know about it. At least so they have some kind of idea of what is going on. Without pursuing any legal action of course, just to let them know.

tadaque · Apr 13, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As Judy noted, they would have to be aware of the situation and take no action prior to the wife leaving the husband.

If you can prove what he did, then of course you can report it to the dealership. But they have no liability.

Thank you for your nice kindly response Scott. :D

this8384 · Apr 13, 2009, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by tadaque

I KNOW.....I READ WHAT SCOTT SAID. What I am asking is if I should let the company know about it. At least so they have some kind of idea of what is going on. Without pursuing any legal action of course, just to let them know.

OKAY - GLAD YOU GET IT. THERE'S REALLY NO REASON TO SHOUT, WHICH IS WHAT TYPING IN CAPS IS.

What do you hope to gain by informing the dealership? Are you trying to get the manager fired? Are you trying to embarrass him? What are you basing this on? Why do you feel they need to be informed?

Justwantfair · Apr 13, 2009, 12:26 PM

So now the point is just to get the manager terminated?

You are just going to look vindictive and considering the affair took place he is going to say the contact was mutual.

The opportunity to bring it up was for the wife to contact the company when it happened.