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    iLy541's Avatar
    iLy541 Posts: 28, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 10, 2009, 09:57 PM
    Sex with your first. I keep going back.
    Why is it that after break-ups with other guys I seem to always go back and have sex with my first?
    I also always seem to forgive him for all that he put me through with no remorse.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #2

    Apr 11, 2009, 01:16 AM

    Whenever we do something that doesn't seem to make sense, it's because the benefit is greater than the pain. Why do you do it? What is the benefit? Is this worth the bad feelings?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Apr 11, 2009, 02:08 AM

    I Think that people like what is familiar.There is a certain comfort in familiarity.
    Its like old habits ,we know they are no good for us but there is a certain comfort to them that is worth the negative side effects.
    Malteseeers's Avatar
    Malteseeers Posts: 21, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Apr 11, 2009, 05:29 PM

    I've only ever had sex with one guy, the guy I'm with now so I guess my answer might not be very useful but yeah I've had sex with one guy and I guess you find some kind of attachment to your first and find it hard to just forget about them and I agree with artlady - maybe it is the familiarity and the comfort also, that makes you go back. Maybe you should move on and try stop this habit as it doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere with you and your firsts relationship, unless you want it to go somewhere? Think about that (: and if you don't want it to go anywhere you really should stop this habit - but I can't judge until I'm in your position.
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #5

    Apr 11, 2009, 06:22 PM

    I'm just reaching out on a limb here. But maybe it's because with your first you were in love with him, and you felt that deep connection with.. then when you slept with someone else.. that connection wasn't there.. so you're craving that feeling.. so that's why you go back to him..

    Maybe you're the kind of person that feels you should love the person before you have sex with them..

    I suggest you slow down sexually with the people you're dating.. don't have sex with just anybody and when you're ready you will feel that the need is satisfied
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Apr 12, 2009, 02:52 PM

    Your not alone, this happens sometime. I know I did this once. Sometimes after two people have broken up they figure why not go to my ex since they're available. Most likely he is thinking "why buy the cow when the milk is free". But more than likely it is a mutual agreement and I bet when you get in touch with him, he knows why. You have a need and he is there willing, ready, and able to supply it. However sooner or later this cycle is going stop. You just have to have the will power to stop it, if you want and learn to go without sex or invest in some toys to please yourself.
    uptis8mistic's Avatar
    uptis8mistic Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 12, 2009, 02:57 PM

    Is because there is an affinity established between two people especially a male and a female when they have had sex before


    Over time there seems to be igntion of the liquids and chemistry of the other partner in the other
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Sep 7, 2009, 07:16 PM

    Closed, poster is 14 and should not even be having sex. And of course boyfriend could go to jail for having sex with her anywhere I know of.

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