[Jake2008]

you 18 ,him 35,secret relationship
it looks kind of fishy, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
I'm 32 male,single, alone and still don't understand his intentions with you are other than take advantage of the situation, I know age doesnt matter I was pursuing a 23 year old women and I didn't have a problem meetings her friends or family,if he is good like you think,you should date him first get to know him and go from there.

That's a really good point too.

Why is he anonymous. I asked that once before, and you haven't answered.

Please tell me you will reconsider your decision.

[jjwoodhull]

Obviously you have made up your mind to meet him. I hope you choose to meet him in a public place. I hope you do not leave with him.

As for having sex... for now just make the decision to not have sex the first time you meet with him. You say that you are a very sexual person... so is everyone. I understand that your hormones are racing and you are horny all the time. There are other ways to satisfy your sexual needs. If a true, live (not computer) relationship does develop with this guy, then you will be glad that you did not have sex right away. Part of what makes sex great is when you wait awhile and let the tension build between the two of you.

So for now, be safe when meeting him or any other guy. You think that we are personally attacking and disrespecting him, but the sad reality of life is that men can hurt women. 1 in 6 women get raped or date raped in their life time. Women 18-22 are 4 times more likely to get raped than any other age group. 73% of women raped know their attacker. Every day women are attacked, beaten and even murdered. You have called us melodramatic, but these things can and do happen. I know, my best friend was murdered by a man she trusted.

Just take care of yourself. You can't be afraid to live life or get involved with men, but you should always make your personal safety a priority.

[what2do27]

WHy does this sound like a trap, I hope that she's OK, you should let people know where you two will be meeting up. Good luck.

[Jake2008]

Very good suggestion, excellent.

A friend of mine is on a dating site, and occasionally she meets a man for a date at a coffee shop-local.

We have his name, his cell phone number, his screen name, and often her sister and myself will also go in the coffee shop for coffee while she's there, and pretend not to know her.

A backup plan is really sensible. I hope she reads that and does it.

[teened]

He's not anonymus, I know most everything about it. And as I said, I'm not planning on having sex with him on the first meet. Our plan to meet was solely based on spending some time together. And that is still the main point, except that since I've known him for so long I've developed that intimacy with him. I suppose all this makes sense and I'll beware. I can't take a friend from my campus but I'll let someone know where I am... I anyway intend on spending the first night in my room itself.

He had the same major as me in college and that's how we got to talking.

[JoeCanada76]

He's not anonymus, I know most everything about it. And as I said, I'm not planning on having sex with him on the first meet. Our plan to meet was solely based on spending some time together. And that is still the main point, except that since I've known him for so long I've developed that intimacy with him. I suppose all this makes sense and I'll beware. I can't take a friend from my campus but I'll let someone know where I am....I anyway intend on spending the first night in my room itself.

He had the same major as me in college and that's how we got to talking.

Dinkle Dorf,

Your clueless and have not listened to a word anybody has said. Your very first post you said your meeting up with the guy for the first time to have sex with him. You do not know him at all. You have no idea about him. You seem child like. Sorry to say your not mature enough to have any kind of relationship, that is a fact. BACK UP PLAN IS IMPORTANT. AT LEAST HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE THERE WITH YOU. SINCE YOUR SO DETERMINED TO DO THIS. LET US KNOW HOW IT GOES, EH.

[teened]

All right... its far right now... june I guess... shall let you all know how it goes :P

[artlady]

He's not anonymus, I know most everything about it. And as I said, I'm not planning on having sex with him on the first meet. Our plan to meet was solely based on spending some time together. And that is still the main point, except that since I've known him for so long I've developed that intimacy with him. I suppose all this makes sense and I'll beware. I can't take a friend from my campus but I'll let someone know where I am....I anyway intend on spending the first night in my room itself.

He had the same major as me in college and that's how we got to talking.

I have a scenario for you.
You meet in a mall,he knows what kind of car you drive.
You have coffee,you leave the mall and now there are two men who hustle you into your car and drive off with you.

Do you think people who are trying to kidnap girls and make them sex slaves or whatever ,say * Oh by the way,I am a pervert who has done this before and I know how to get away with it.*. Not likely.

There are sites out there for pedophiles that actually instruct them in how to lure in prey ,how to win trust,how to make a person feel like you are their savior.They target confused and lonely people.

You have most likely given him some indication that you are willing to be sexual and he may not take kindly to you saying no.What if he becomes aggressive ,what are you going to do to protect yourself?

I pray we are all wrong but it just sounds bad.I am 54 yr.old and I know a lot more about life than you do.I have always had good instincts and my instincts say this smells rotten.

[teened]

Oh my God, its just about the height of exageration. Quit it you all... haha... I was just telling him about this on the phone. Anywys... your all coming from a set mindset preached in too many talk shows or whatever. I'm not checking back on this postt now. Will let you know in June, adios.

[artlady]

oh my God, its just about the height of exageration. Quit it you all... haha... I was just telling him about this on the phone. Anywys... your all coming from a set mindset preached in too many talk shows or whatever. I'm not checking back on this postt now. Will let you know in June, adios.

Did you REALLY think he would tell you if he was a bad guy?
C'mon get your head out of the clouds and be real.
I am confidant you are mimicking him when you say

set mindset preached in too many talk shows or whatever.

I bet you he said that!

[Alty]

oh my God, its just about the hieght of exageration. quit it you all...haha...I was just telling him about this on the phone. anywys...your all coming from a set mindset preached in too many talk shows or whatever. I'm not checking back on this postt now. Will let ya know in June, adios.

Oh we'll be on the edge of our seats. :rolleyes:

Let me look forward and predict how your post in June will go.

"Hi everyone, I met up with my internet lover, turns out he's a 45 year old that's listed as a sex predator, apparently he likes younger women, can't help himself. We had sex, it was okay I guess, but now I have crabs and I'm pregnant and he won't return my calls. What should I do? Oh ya, the last time I called his 20 year old daughter answered the phone, said he was out with his wife. I should have listened, but you know, I'm 18, I know everything, or so I thought"

See, now you don't have to update for us, I did it for you.

Good luck.

[this8384]

Oh we'll be on the edge of our seats. :rolleyes:

Let me look forward and predict how your post in June will go.

"Hi everyone, I met up with my internet lover, turns out he's a 45 year old that's listed as a sex predator, apparently he likes younger women, can't help himself. We had sex, it was okay I guess, but now I have crabs and I'm pregnant and he won't return my calls. What should I do? Oh ya, the last time I called his 20 year old daughter answered the phone, said he was out with his wife. I should have listened, but you know, I'm 18, I know everything, or so I thought"

See, now you don't have to update for us, I did it for you.

Good luck.

Had to spread the rep, Alty... but very good.

Of course, that's assuming she'll still be alive in June to give an update.. not stuffed in a trash can somewhere, bruised, bloody and naked.


Oh my, look who's viewing the thread that she said she wasn't going to check on anymore...

[smommcd]

I think you should be very careful who you meet with and talking to someone online is true I met a guy online and he is different in person . We didn't have sex we met at the mall just nbecareful he acted as if he was watching the world like he was going to get caught. If he just wants you for sex tell him to take a hike.

[kp2171]

Hmm...

Yeah. I guess my wife being raped by a guy ten years older than her when she was just under your age, a guy she "knew" well for about a year and then who jumped on the first chance he had with her alone, that's the crap of soap opera stuff and fluff. Paranoid BS. Ill let her know that the sleeping with a gun under her bed for two years was really stupid 'cause you said so.

Look... I dated a girl who, at 18, "dated" and had sex with a guy over ten years older than her (and married) and it didn't turn into all hell breaking loose. But I can tell you this much...

You, yourself, asked if it made sense.

The resounding answer has been "no"... but you aren't interested in answers that don't validate your own position or prop you up.

Please don't come back until you are legitimately interested. Anything else is a waste of time and site resources.

You seem hell bent on his using you and your letting him. You are an "adult" technically. Even a bad choice is still your choice, I guess.

[Alty]

Had to spread the rep KP, but I agree 110%.

Sadly this is another case of "I want answers, but only if they jive with what I want to hear".

Sometimes people have to make their own mistakes, hopefully live to learn from them, move on and make better choices.

We all know this is a bad idea, but the OP is hell bent on proving us wrong.

What do we know? We're only older and wiser, lived life, learned from our mistakes. Heck, we don't know diddly squat.

[artlady]

Had to spread the rep KP, but I agree 110%.

Sadly this is another case of "I want answers, but only if they jive with what I want to hear".

Sometimes people have to make their own mistakes, hopefully live to learn from them, move on and make better choices.

We all know this is a bad idea, but the OP is hell bent on proving us wrong.

What do we know? We're only older and wiser, lived life, learned from our mistakes. Heck, we don't know diddly squat.

Hay I beg to differ.. I do know diddly squat.. its a dance right :p

[Alty]

Hay I beg to differ ..I do know diddly squat..its a dance right :p

It's when you pee outdoors Artsy. That's the diddly squat. Jeesh. ;) :p

[starbuck8]

Well, isn't this just such a timely question! I just got finished watching an episode of "Dateline 48 hrs. Mystery." There was a young girl, about your age, that met an older guy online. They knew each other for about a yr. and she was very close to his family online. Her parents even talked to "his family" online! She and this guy talked to each other on a weekly basis on the phone, and texted each other throughout the day! They mailed gifts to one another, and kept on talking about the wonderful romantic things they were going to do when they had their face to face meeting. This man said he was a successful real estate agent, and had graduated from university in the top five in his class, and even sent a copy of his diploma to this young girl.

Well, you can likely guess that since it was on TV, that this wasn't a happy ending! She was found in a remote location, raped... severly beaten... and DEAD!

I know you think that you KNOW this guy. YOU DON'T!! But since you seem hell bent on meeting him anyway, and since you've already told him the responses you've gotten here, he just may be planning his next steps. You've now forewarned him. He knows you are questioning this, so he needs to step up his game!

There is no normal 35 yr. old man, that will meet a barely 18 yr. old girl online, and be willing to have sex with you. You are in so much danger, and you can't even see it! The fact that you can't see it is very concerning to me. I'm wondering why you can't meet someone your own age where you live? Why do you, at 18, have to meet someone on the internet? There is something wrong with this picture, especially when this is with a 35 yr. old man, who claims to work at a college amongst other young girls. Doesn't something smell fishy there to you? It sure smells where I am!

You asked this question for a reason. Ask yourself the reason you felt the need to ask it. Is it because your gut is telling you that something isn't right? That is OBVIOUS! So listen to your GUT! It is trying to tell you something!

I also wonder why yourself esteem, self confidence, and self pride/worth are so low, that this is something you would even consider. I think this should be the first thing you would be looking at. Maybe instead of spending time on the computer talking to him, you should be spending time working on yourself and googling a few help sites, so you can feel better about yourself. Better yet, get yourself involved in other things, so you don't have to worry about having sex with a 35 yr. old man.

... and finally. Where is it that you would possibly think this "relationship" would go, even if he turned out to be a straight up guy? Is it just the sex thing? What are you in this for? Do you think you'll just meet this guy and have sex a few times and he'll just go away? Do you think that you'll meet him and if you decide not to have sex, that he'll just go away? Do you think he won't feel slighted if you dump him and he will not "just go away?"

People here have been ripping their hair out trying to tell you! He will not just go away... but YOU MIGHT!

[J_9]

Look folks, she has made her mind up even before she asked he question. We can only hope and pray that in June she will come back alive or in one (mental) piece.

As we adults know, this is an accident waiting to happen. But apparently some children, yes, I said children, have to learn from their own mistakes and not listen to the more experienced people.

It's not going to be all peaches and cream the way the OP expects, but again, she has her mind made up. We can only hope and pray for her safety.

[Synnen]

Closed. The OP stated she isn't going to be back to check answers anyway, if she wasn't a troll to begin with.

Hope she's safe and all, but you simply cannot cure stupid.