[cvstone]

I am 21, and this guy is 33. The age doesn't bother me, but he flirts with me all the time, and I mean like he asks me to the movies every weekend. I am suppose to be going to watch a movie at his house and he says "We can cuddle". He has a kind of sort of girlfriend so he says, she never comes to his house, and she lives in another county. He always talks to me, smiles at me, pays for everything basically, compliments me everything chance he gets.

He walked me to my car yesterday and on the way there he says :Your so cute when your embarrasses". He flirts constently.

I feel like he likes me a lot, but I just don't know how to handle this situation because he would be one guy I have liked a lot since my son was born.

Will someone please help me figure out what to do and tell me if I am taking it the wrong way.

There are more details if anyone needs them.

[redhed35]

OK,keep your head here for a minute.. he has a kind of sort of girlfriend,who lives far away.

He has a GIRLFRIEND!

Take your time here,it does sound like he likes but if he wants to be with you he will end his current relationship..

Make sure you don't get stuck in a love triangle,where your confused,and he's cheating and having two women!

Could you ask him out straight what the deal is?

I know the attention is nice,but mind your heart here,at least until your on firm ground.

[cvstone]

Nothing is happening, because of the girlfriend thing.

But I mean I don't want to wait, for nothing to ever happen, and it's not that I like the attention cause I have never been one for it, but it's something about how he treats and looks at me.

I won't let anything to happen "" between us as long as he still has a girlfriend.

I just want to know if I am taking the flirtation and how we are when we are around each other the right way.

[redhed35]

By attention, I meant,the flirting and making you feel good,nothing wrong with that.

It sounds like a budding romance,if there was no girlfriend on the sense id say go for it..

How long have you known him?

And have you talked about personal things,you know,family,work,past stuff etc?

I'm just wondering if he is confused too?

[talaniman]

But I mean I don't want to wait, for nothing to ever happen,

I think you better wait on this one, don't be impatient or impulsive, as you don't have enough facts about this guy, or his girlfriend.

[artlady]

He has a kind of sort of girlfriend

Who he maybe kind of sort of wants to be unfaithful to?

The word *girlfriend* should make you want to run away as fast as you can.

Remember,if he cheats on her,what does that make him?

The answer should be *not the kind of guy I want*.

[RIrwin]

Take the time to sit back and analyze the situation. If this guy is someone you want to have a relationship with, you don't want to start it by being the mistress on the side. Take it from me I know that you have to be weary of the guys who are flirts because sometimes they get so used to it they don't realize their toying with someone's emotions. Let him know what your thinking be honest and upfront with him. Worst case scenario he lets you know that it won't work out and you keep yourself from going through a bad relationship and potentially being hurt in the end.

[cvstone]

Yes we have talked about personal stuff, and I've known him a year, but I also work with him, so that is kind of keeping me from being upfront with him.

I don't want to be the mistress that's not the type of person I am, and I wouldn't put myself in that situation.

When he talks about him girlfriend though it's almost like he feels there is no relationship there.

I like this guy a lot, and I would be willing to wait and see what happens, but I don't want to wait to find out that nothing will happen.

This whole thing just confuses me, and I mean if nothing happens then I'm not going to be heartbroken about it because even though nothing happened I would still have him as a friend.

I just don't know what to do. We are suppose to watch the movie at his house, and go Go Kart racing, plus he is going with me to a doctors appointment.

[talaniman]

When he talks about him girlfriend though it's almost like he feels there is no relationship there.

Cheating husbands use the very same tactic, to get the reaction you are now having.

Sorry, all I see are red flags, and heartbreak.

Of course you see things through your own feelings.

Fact- Any self respecting man would have ended this other relationship long before he started hanging with you. Especially if he felt it going no where.

He has not done that, but he has played on your interests, and fed you a load of BULL!!

Do as you will, but don't be surprised if this doesn't work out well at all.

Another Big Red Flag, he is a co-worker.

The biggest red flag however, is your own confusion, which is trying to caution you that this is not a good situation, especially since he is already cheating with you, on her.

That's not even what I call friendship worthy.

Don't let your attraction, blind you completely.

even though nothing happened I would still have him as a friend... I just don't know what to do. We are suppose to watch the movie at his house, and go Go Kart racing, plus he is going with me to a doctors appointment.

Sorry, something is already happening, your being alone in intimate settings with him, and dating, and sharing your time. That leads to hopeful attachments.

Back away while you can. He knows exactly what he is doing, you do not.

[cvstone]

I guess the only thing that would help make sense of this is if we just plain out come forward and talk about it.

[BuddyMan]

Sounds like you have already talked it to death. He has a girl, but would like to have no-strings sex with you, too, and probably a few other girls, if he can manage it. BTW, he is mentioning the other girlfriend so he has a ready excuse for blowing you off once he gets tired of you and also this gives him an excuse to never take you out or introduce you to his friends. He is already laying the plans for his escape.

If you are hot, scoring will give him bragging rights at work, and yes, he will brag about it, unless you are the boss's daughter. Then he will probably marry you and your misery will go on for years. This guy does not and will never love you. Guys don't treat girls they love like this.

The only other thing you need to say to him is "I don't date guys who have girlfriends. See you at work!