Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Apr 9, 2009, 05:58 PM
    Mother sick
    I have my mother she is very very sick
    She has MS
    Its hard for me to let it go and have fun with ny family and friends
    Could someone help me with that?
    I don't know how to explaine
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:05 PM

    You can check with Respite or some organization that helps give people a break from caring for an ill loved one.
    Also if you are in the USA you can also check on a program that pays you for caring for someone that is chronically ill.
    There are supplements for MS but I have to check and get back I can't remember them right now.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:06 PM

    Hollie, I don't know what you are really trying to say. Your mom has muscular distrophy, that I get and you are the major caregiver I am assuming. I know how bad MS can get and is she on proper medication to lessen the pain ?

    You feel guilty because you would like to go out and enjoy yourself, right ?

    Ms tick
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    You can check with Respite or some organization that helps give people a break from caring for an ill loved one.
    Also if you are in the USA you can also check on a program that pays you for caring for someone that is chronically ill.
    There are supplements for MS but I have to check and get back I can't remember them right now.
    My nana takes care of her and I'm not there all the time so its hard 2 not think about it @ times
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    hollie, I dont know what you are really trying to say. Your mom has muscular distrophy, that i get and you are the major caregiver I am assuming. I know how bad MS can get and is she on proper medication to lessen the pain ?

    You feel guilty because you would like to go out and enjoy yourself, right ?

    ms tick

    My nana takes care of her
    I don't live there
    I'm not there all the time so it scares me to know what's going to happen next
    taoplr's Avatar
    taoplr Posts: 415, Reputation: 144
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:45 PM
    Hollie, your mother's condition is a reality. It's not going away. The best thing you can do is let go of your resistance to this reality and accept it. Let the truth of it wash through you like water. Then, you can just love her and be there for her. When she's gone, you will be glad that you did.

    Your mother's condition is nobody's fault. There is no hidden meaning in it, no message about you or your family or anything else. There is no need for having uncomfortable feelings about having fun, being happy, or celebrating your life. As her MS progresses, she will enjoy life through your joy and well being. Don't take that away from her by keeping yourself from happiness.

    Let go.
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Apr 9, 2009, 06:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by taoplr View Post
    Hollie, your mother's condition is a reality. It's not going away. The best thing you can do is let go of your resistance to this reality and accept it. Let the truth of it wash through you like water. Then, you can just love her and be there for her. When she's gone, you will be glad that you did.

    Your mother's condition is nobody's fault. There is no hidden meaning in it, no message about you or your family or anything else. There is no need for having uncomfortable feelings about having fun, being happy, or celebrating your life. As her MS progresses, she will enjoy life through your joy and well being. Don't take that away from her by keeping yourself from happiness.

    Let go.
    I totally agree with you on that
    When I'm jez sitting around or don't have anything 2 do then that's when it hits me
    But when I'm really into something I don't think about anything but what I'm doing or about my daughters and fiancé
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Apr 9, 2009, 07:18 PM

    Call her daily and see how she's doing,talk to her and tell her how much you love her so she can feel happy and you can make yourself happier. Talk about how your day was, talk to your nana and ask her how she was doing on such specific day and maybe that will comfort her a little. Also help her maybe get the medication and doctors she needs! <3
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Apr 9, 2009, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ana52408 View Post
    Call her daily and see how she's doing,talk to her and tell her how much you love her so she can feel happy and you can make yourself happier. Talk about how your day was, talk to your nana and ask her how she was doing on such specific day and maybe that will comfort her a little. Also help her maybe get the medication and doctors she needs! <3
    Its hard for me to talk to my mom because she shakes and I can't understand her so my nana has to talk for us.
    There's times I can talk to her on the phone
    See I have a hearing problem
    I was born with it
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Apr 9, 2009, 07:41 PM

    Im sorry to hear that :/

    Well are you sure you can't visit? Does she live in another country?

    Well how about this!!



    SEND HER A LETTER OR AN E-MAIL!!

    Maybe its not phone to phone but your nana can read to her and she can reply perfectly fine telling your nana what to say... hope this idea helps!
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Apr 9, 2009, 07:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ana52408 View Post
    Im sorry to hear that :/

    Well are you sure you can't visit? does she live in another country?

    well how about this!!!!!!



    SEND HER A LETTER OR AN E-MAIL!!!!!

    maybe its not phone to phone but your nana can read to her and she can reply back perfectly fine telling your nana what to say...hope this idea helps!
    Yea I go see her
    She lives 20 minutes from me
    My nana can't read
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Apr 9, 2009, 07:58 PM

    Oh OK! Then go visit her more often!


    Sorry to hear that, then you should visit her more often hun<3
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Apr 9, 2009, 08:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ana52408 View Post
    oh ok!! then go visit


    sorry to hear that, then you should visit her more often hun<3
    Yea I do
    Its sad that she can't play with her grandkids
    It hurts me that she can't be like other mom like going shopping or playing around and have fun
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Apr 9, 2009, 08:14 PM

    I understand you honey<3


    And that's life but I know you can be strong enough to live up to it and be there for your mom like she was there for you all these years :)
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Apr 9, 2009, 08:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ana52408 View Post
    I understand you honey<3


    and that's life but i know you can be strong enough to live up to it and be there for your mom like she was there for you all these years :)
    Yea
    I always say
    "WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON"
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
     
    #16

    Apr 9, 2009, 08:22 PM

    & whatever is meant to be will always find its way :)


    So let it be, but visit her, be with her, she will be happy! On your spare time during the day go visit her, it will mean a lottt! <3
    hollie1988's Avatar
    hollie1988 Posts: 50, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #17

    Apr 9, 2009, 08:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ana52408 View Post
    & whatever is meant to be will always find its way :)


    so let it be, but visit her, be with her, she will be happy! on your spare time during the day go visit her, it will mean a lottt! <3
    Yea that's really all I can do is be there and get her whatever she needs

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Controlling mother making daughter phyisically sick [ 2 Answers ]

My Mother in-law moved to our area in November. We moved her here because her daughter couldn't handle things anymore and her health was in question. My husband handles the finance and she lives at a great apartment that she loves (not a nursing home) it is 1/2 mile from our home. My sister came...

My 1yr old puppy is sick, vomiting.not worms, sick only in morning. [ 5 Answers ]

Hello:) I am new here.. My 1yr old pup, Gracie, is a house dog, she is 1/2 Pomeranian & 1/2 Min. Doberman. For the last few days she has been vomiting in the morning, that is the only time she does. We are very careful what she eats & as we live in town, she stays indoor.. even to void. She is...

Father Asks mother for child support when mother has no money [ 2 Answers ]

My mother got re-married and had my little brother with this man. He is now 10, I'm 15 and my sister is 17. (Our father pays child support but not on a regular basis, you can't depend on it) About 3 years ago they separated and got a divorce. We had custody of him. Then my brothers father filed...

Sick mother of 2 looking for charities [ 15 Answers ]

One year ago I was a healthy 30 year old married mother of 2. I worked full time & made OK money. Then I got sick I have the most sever form of kidney stone disease there is I the last year I have passed around 130 stones. I’m now on medication ( the highest dose & the strongest 1) but I still...

Mother/Daughter conflict over sick grandmother [ 4 Answers ]

My grandmother was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. My mother who is not handling it well at all, continues to deny that she is going to die and behaves as if everything is going to be OK. In doing so, she continues to call me for every little, umimportant thing (not relative to her...


View more questions Search