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Supergirl19 · Apr 5, 2009, 06:58 PM

My last couple of relationships have been brief and ended badly. Both times, I tried to stay as casual as possible, but it was almost impossible because my ex would call me once or twice a day and want to hang out all the time. I limited our hanging out time to about twice a week, but still talked on the phone everyday. After about 2 months, both exes, who seemed really interested, suddenly stopped calling. One eventually called back after a few weeks and acted like nothing had happened, but I never responded. I did run into him, and he wanted to hang out again, but when I told him I was upset that he stopped calling without an explanation, he acted like I was crazy. The other one I called and ended things after he didn't call for 2 weeks, because I didn't want to deal with the same drama again. What causes guys to come on so strong and then change their mind? And how do you keep it casual if they are pursuing so much? I didn't have sex with either of them, but it is still not easy to stay emotionally detached, especially when they seem so nice and trustworthy up until that point. I am really afraid to date again, because I don't want to trust someone and get my heart broken. How do I keep it casual, and when is it okay to let my guard down?

mswhite84 · Apr 5, 2009, 07:01 PM

First thing to always remember before jumping back into the dating scene is to have an open-mind. Make sure you but behind you your previous relationship results because carrying "baggage" into another relationship can lead to you remaining single. If you take your time and be open-minded, things should start pretty good for you!

Hope you the best!

talaniman · Apr 6, 2009, 07:53 AM

I am really afraid to date again, because I don't want to trust someone and get my heart broken. How do I keep it casual, and when is it okay to let my guard down?

I honestly think your already doing the right things for yourself, and advise you don't change a thing.

That your able to let them go, when the fun stops, is a plus on your part.

You just have to know how to cope with your feelings, but I think your judgment is dead on, as it is.

You have those feelings because your human, and you care for yourself. Your fear protects you, and you listen to yourself. That will take you far in avoiding games, and deceit, and BS.

Keep doing what your doing, and a real good guy will eventually appreciate the fabulous person you are.