[starlite1]

hey starlite,dinner sounds good,he was bringing me out anyway,last sunday we went furniture shopping for his lounge,i did think about a picture he liked but he thought was too expensive..

i do have a day voucher for an adventure centre..hmmm..that might be fun..take him off for the day,what do you think?

Hi Red,

That sounds great! Get him out and about for a day of fun and a nice dinner afterwards. A wonderful birthday gift!

[redhed35]

Thanks guys,booked it for Sunday,and checked brendan was free,didn't say where we were going..
If only it was all this easy!

[redhed35]

Just had my first argument with brendan.no,not argument,cause I was the only one who spoke.
Before we started going out brendan made a point (and me) of spending sat night together,but for the last 3 sat he has spent it with his friends,now,I understand that these were pre arranged before we starting dating,a 40th party, a stag,I understood.but tonight he knew my children would be gone for the night early in the week,but on wed he said there was a stag on sat night,and would I mind he if went,I said I didn't mind.. but I did..
I wanted him to want to spend the evening with me! And even up to this evening he was unsure if he was going to go or not,so I spent a lovely afternoon pampering myself,thinking that he would want to do something with me.
Wrong.
So I went in at 830,and let rip.I didn't give him a chance to speak,and then I left.
So here I am,sat night,date night! With no children,nice hair,and shaved legs.
As the song goes'did I shave my legs for this'

[liz28]

Redhead you should have been honest with him when he asked you "if you mind that he made other plans" instead of lying.

It was wrong of you to march in and agrue with him.

You could have handle the situation differently and boy do I know some ways.

In the future be more honest instead of telling someone what you think they want to hear.

Didn't you read the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus?"

[redhed35]

Yeah,I should have let him speak.I was just so bloody mad at him. I left it too late to make plans with my friends,I guess I was just looking forward to spending the night tucked up on the couch making out laughing and eating pizza.. brendan is different then any other man I ever gone out with,the others lavished attention on me and it suffocated me,one of the things I like about brendan is he has a full life without me,but he could up it just a notch.. am I expecting too much,or have I just been spoiled by other men?

[liz28]

I don't think your spoiled or expecting too much. You just expected him to spend time with you this night but you should have express that him.

I don't even think you should've been upset with him because again you told him you didn't mind.

It seems like the honeymoon phrase might be over but the fun isn't. Plan dates in advance and while he is hanging out you do the same.

[redhed35]

I over reacted.. dam.
Guess ill see how he reacts now.
Sorry is so hard to say,but I feel right!
How about sorry I over reacted but I meant what I said?

[redhed35]

Thought id give an update on me and brendan..
Things could not be better.. one or two hic ups but over all things are going good.
Its been 3 and a half months,. getting to know each other,dating,laughing and just having fun..
The conversations are amusing,heavy,and just plain old communication!
Today he is gone off to an ACDC concert,not my thing by a long shot,but then again I went to see tracy chapman last week,not his thing by a long shot!
We both had our own lives before we met and still continue seeing our friends and still have our own interests,some of our interests merge and we meet in the middle.
We listen to each other,and I mean listen,and we share.
We both like our own time alone and respect each others lives and choices..
Brendan has become my best friend,he's the one I call when good or crappy things happen,and vice versa.
Yep,folks,I'm in love.
We both have had our share of broken hearts,and relied on another person to make us happy.
We both learned before we met that the only person that can make you truly happy is yourself,having self respect,self esteem and a full life on your own can bring fulfillment.

I just wanted to post this,to say a big thanks to all that gave me the push to ask brendan out.

One final word to all those broken hearted out there,the light at the end of the tunnel is not the man/woman that you think will make you happy,but fact the light at the end of the tunnel is 'YOU'.

[JBeaucaire]

Bravo!

[N0help4u]

I can''t count the number of times I waited looking forward to going out when my significant other came home and they left me to go do their own thing. I finally gave up on that one.
You have to be honest and up front because saying one thing and meaning the other means you can not go lashing out for what they then choose.
You sound like you have a great relationship so say what you mean, mean what you say and pick your battles. If it wasn't something rotten where he came off as a jerk then it is better to just patch things up without arguing and move on together.

[321543]

At the risk of getting my head bitten of by you. You don't sound as though you are a cheerful person. Maybe he sees other qualities in you that he may not be interested in.
This can keep wise men away with a passion, if they know what is good for them.

[redhed35]

321543,I was merely posting an update,but thank you for those insights ,just one question?
Maybe brendan sees other qualities in me that I may not be interested in?


Hmmm,you must know me well..