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topladyj · Apr 2, 2009, 11:47 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and have had our ups and downs. Yesterday he went to the dr (his boss forced him) because of his allergies. And they sat him up with an appointment with an oncologist in two weeks. They said he has stage 3 lung cancer and stage 1 throat cancer. I'm so lost I can't believe this is happening. I'm 24 he's about to be 34, and I still thought that was too young to end up with this. Basically, what I need to know is where can we get help. We're in the state of Oklahoma and have no health insurance. I really don't know where to look. Or how to get help. Please I need you... :(

topladyj · Apr 2, 2009, 11:48 AM

There's no way we'll be able to pay for this out of pocket. I'm so torn up I've been trying to quit smoking for a while now, and I'm seriously not going to.

topladyj · Apr 2, 2009, 01:18 PM

Still need help anyone.

Sunflowers · Apr 2, 2009, 01:38 PM

I'm sorry. Did you say you smoke cigarettes and your boyfriend was recently diagnosed with lung and throat cancer and you're not quitting but you need help?

KISS · Apr 2, 2009, 01:42 PM

Believe it. I lost one uncle (did underwater welding, smoked cigars) and a cousin who smoked, who just recently expired and also was diagnosed with lung cancer. From diagnosis to expiration, not even 6 months both cases. Hopefully your bf's prognosis will be much better.

topladyj · Apr 3, 2009, 09:03 AM

We both smoked I've been trying to quit for a while now. And he went to the dr for allergies they told him this. I don't want to think about death yes I know lots of people die from this. I don't want to upset myself anymore than I am I can barely function right now. I just need some directions on how to get help in Oklahoma for some one with no insurance. Or some sort of program or something.

Sunflowers · Apr 3, 2009, 09:36 AM

I realize what a shock it must be for you both. Oklahoma Dept. of Human Services might be able to offer some help with medical. You can check this site: OKDHS.org - Programs & Services: Health & Medical

Also, your boyfriend might want to apply for social security disability since his cancer diagnosis.

Other than that, get a hold of yourself. STOP SMOKING NOW. You will start to feel better immediately.

topladyj · Apr 3, 2009, 12:50 PM

Thanks sunflowers another thing I worry about is we are just boyfriend and girlfriend. So is this going to effect his care if I say we live together. My income is a little higher than his and I just worried. I'm going to try to get the ss disability. The only thing is he and his druged up ex wife, have never legaly been separated. Do you know if this will effect him. If so should be get the divorce now like tomorrow? I'm sorry I don't know much about this.

Sunflowers · Apr 3, 2009, 01:19 PM

You or he should file for the ss disability asap, living together will not affect his eligibility. I am not sure how the Oklahoma Dept. of Human Services decides on what kind of help they offer. They will probably need to know what your income is even though you are not married. It is important to understand that applying for SS disability is not done at the same location as ODHS. For disability applications contact the local DRS. Your boyfriend should get a statement from DRS confirming that he has applied for disability to show to his ODHS case worker.
He should try to move forward with a divorce at least so that the ex wife can't show up and make medical decisions for him if and when a time comes that he is incapacitated.

topladyj · Apr 9, 2009, 11:06 AM

Omg thank you. That's another thing I would be so mad if she did show up after all this and told them to pull the plug of whatever, there is no telling with her. All they did was a chest x-ray, so in the next few weeks were doing the biopsy. I'm praying they were wrong somehow, or he heals over this time. I am researching it all so that I am on the ball, when it's time. I'll probably do the divorce now then once the biopsy comes back we'll do the disability. Do I have to tell these people we live together. I do not lie, but don't want us living together to effect his health.

Sunflowers · Apr 9, 2009, 12:47 PM

Hi again. How much are they charging for a lung biopsy these days? I'm not positive, but the applications for assistance with OKDHS and DRS probably ask about who lives together (other household members). Since you are not married, your status as a household member and your income should not count against your boyfriend. Though his financial situation might be adjusted to account for you being able to pay your fair share of the bills. If the question is asked and he lies about it and gets caught, that would effect his health. When he applies for disability with DRS he should ask for a statement of proof that he has applied because the process takes a long time. He will not be approved immediately but it is important to apply asap because benefits will go back to the date on the application. He can use the statement of application as proof with OKDHS to qualify for any assistance they have to offer, example: they will provide medical while his disability application is being processed. Good luck to both of you!

topladyj · Apr 9, 2009, 02:43 PM

Thank you I appriciate all your help. I can tell you sure know all about this. Thank you I will have him tell them we live together, that was a main concern of mine honestly... better to be safe than sorry and I'm one of those people who when lying you can tell. I appriciate your advice I will follow through, keep you posted, and ask you something if I get stumped or confused. In the meantime, if anyone else has any advice, or knows how certain organizations can help you, where to get it, anything. I'm trying to search all my different resources right now.