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teastalk · Apr 1, 2009, 10:37 PM

Would you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you wouldn't fight for them if they found someone better? What would you think if your boyfriend or girlfriend told you that if you found someone better than him or her, then he or she would let you go without a fight?

Also, this pertains to when you first started dating. On your first date during a serious conversation your boyfriend told you that if you found someone better, he would let you go without a fight.

Wondergirl · Apr 1, 2009, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by teastalk

If your boyfriend or girlfriend found someone better than you... would you be able to let them go without a fight? Would you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you wouldn't fight for them if they found someone better?

Better than me? No way! Different from me and more suitable for him? Yes! Been there, done that.

none12345 · Apr 1, 2009, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by teastalk

If your boyfriend or girlfriend found someone better than you... would you be able to let them go without a fight? Would you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you wouldn't fight for them if they found someone better?

Better than me? First of all if my ex told me that which she did, at first I was blinded by love and it didn't matter that much but the more I thought about it during my NC I figured I couldn't take that crap from her and I deserved better. First of all no one should be better than anyone. If they tell you someone is better than you than they are not worth keeping. Everyone is different but no one should be better than anyone.

Dare81 · Apr 2, 2009, 02:55 AM

If that was my first date and she was talking about letting go.Red flags and bells would be going off in my head.RUN

artlady · Apr 2, 2009, 03:06 AM

I would say ,what is *better*?

Then I would say ,*you don't seem to have much confidence and why would you not fight to save a relationship that meant something to you*?

Being a first date ,I would assume this person had never been truly in love.

The statement sounds selfless in theory but when push comes to shove,I don't think most people would stand by it.

RussTAmour · Apr 2, 2009, 03:53 AM

I would'nt tell them that, but if my GF found another more suitable partner, I would feel glad for her, a little sad for myself of course, but you live, love, learn and move on.
If someone told me this on a first date, I would only feel that life comes with no guarantees.

talaniman · Apr 2, 2009, 05:39 AM

I would never ask that question in the first place, and if asked, I would be out, as who has time for head games? That's not a conversation to have, and assumes too much too early. Come on, First/second date?

kctiger · Apr 2, 2009, 06:00 AM

So many things wrong with your question. First date, you aren't even in a relationship, so I would hope you don't consider them your girlfriend/boyfriend...

Serious talks also don't need to come up during the "dating" phase as well.

Lastly, why in the hell would you tell someone this, or even discuss this topic? It's almost like you are planning on getting your heart broken.

Romefalls19 · Apr 2, 2009, 06:34 AM

Not a question to ask, nor is it one to be asked. Why are people so worried about the future when the present causes the most problems.

I wish · Apr 2, 2009, 06:42 AM

I would lose all respect for my ex's if they said to me: "I found someone better."

Janmarie · Apr 2, 2009, 09:49 AM

If I were out on a first/second date with a man and he presented me with that statement I would have said, (flirtingly of course) " Cool, that tells me there won't be any drama after I dump your ." But seriously you want someone who you can see in his actions and words that he is confident and comfortable in himself. I guy who tells you that he won't fight for you if you found someone better, he is telling you that he doesn't believe in you, himself or the relationship, which also tells you that he is not one to be counted on ever.

BMI · Apr 2, 2009, 09:57 AM

It's a foolish question really.

Define better, who's judging that? In context to the story the guy would be admitting that the new guy is indeed better, how would one be able to assert that? Would they sit side by side and compare their strength's and weaknesses?

I will also point out how weird a question and topic that is on a first date!! Isn't agreeing where to go or what movie to see the most common topics of discussion so early on or maybe what's your last name:)

Justwantfair · Apr 2, 2009, 10:00 AM

I have to say, I think you ask very mundane questions.

They don't really make sense, they aren't how people think and they never seem to have any relationship to actual advise needed.

You have 120 posts and 35-40 questions that you have asked that do not help with any relationship direction.

Please stop asking these silly, what if's, when they are so unlikely.

If you have a question about your relationship, then give us the facts and ask.

ylaira · Apr 2, 2009, 10:19 AM

To answer your question, it's basically an insult that for example, you'll replace your very smart, handsome and hardworking man to a lazy, druggie who doesn't have direction in life.

It's a human nature that sometimes you'll withdraw when sensing a loss.

talaniman · Apr 2, 2009, 11:56 AM

Who gets that deep after a few dates??

slapshot_oi · Apr 2, 2009, 12:15 PM

If I was asked that on the first date I'd laugh and pry a beer out of her for being so weird.

If I ever asked that I'd know I've reached the epitome of lameness and would fall deep into depression.

What kind of question is that?

ylaira · Apr 2, 2009, 12:33 PM

Not everyone dates someone they just knew in a month. Some people knew and liked each other for several months even years ago prior to dating.

Arianna26 · Apr 2, 2009, 07:14 PM

This is suck an easy answer... come on now... of course u would have to dump him/her... I'm sorry... but this person is just waiting for something better to come around, in other words... u maybe a rebound... sad to say...

God bless :)

p.s that gay thing was a bloodly example, and no I'm not an angry person... don't always assume things that are false... and another thing I'm not here to please anyone... it's my opinion... and u can't change it... peace out

none12345 · Apr 2, 2009, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by Arianna26

This is suck an easy answer.....come on now....of course u would have to dump him/her...I'm sorry....but this person is just waiting for something better to come around, in other words....u maybe a rebound....sad to say....

God bless :)

p.s that gay thing was a bloodly example, and no I'm not an angry person....don't always assume things that are false...and another thing I'm not here to please anyone....it's my opinion....and u can't change it...peace out

We are not here to give opinions that criticize people and make them feel horrible. If you haven't realized yet this is a support group and not a bring down group. We want what's best for them and to help them get through their problems not attack them. So if you don't mind, sometimes your opinions are offensive and they bring them down instead of helping them out and it would be best if you kept that to yourself or bring it somewhere else.

Arianna26 · Apr 2, 2009, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by none12345

we are not here to give opinions that criticize people and make them feel horrible. if you havent realized yet this is a support group and not a bring down group. we want whats best for them and to help them get through their problems not attack them. so if you dont mind, sometimes your opinions are offensive and they bring them down instead of helping them out and it would be best if you kept that to yourself or bring it somewhere else.

There been an misunderstanding here... offensive?. there are others who have said worst things... and the gay question isn't towards this or anyone... it's more for starbuck8 or something... I can't remember her user name... but she kept saying really off topic things... that was for her... I thought it was going to be send too her... sorry...

Peace out :cool: