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teastalk · May 31, 2010, 02:54 AM

I'm not sure. I suppose it is because he was the first boyfriend that I really liked, and perhaps loved. The relationship was very meaningful to me. He never gave me any reasons he felt the need to end the relationship. He's the one who ended it.

I guess I just want to see him and see what he has to say for himself.

talaniman · May 31, 2010, 04:48 AM

Trust me I can understand that, and he is leaving, but I worry to be honest, this will only be more hurt for you to deal with just to satisfy your curiosity.

Can you handle this or would you think its better to just let go of it?

You know yourself, and where your at with your healing, so looks like you have a decision to make, doesn't it??

Its your responsibility, and its your call to make a choice for yourself, based on FACTS, and not just feelings.

You do what's best for you and let us know, Tea, just be ready for what follows. Whether you like it or not.

I think you can handle whatever life throws at you. Closure is not what its cracked up to be and acceptance is closure.

teastalk · Jun 1, 2010, 01:11 AM

So, after meeting up with him, I am more confused than ever. I guess this is the reason why people don't meet up with their exes, or at least on this board people tend to discourage it.

I wasn't looking forward to meeting him, surprisingly. I guess because he had broken up our relationship I was not feeling good about meeting up with him. For the most part, I felt like I should cancel the meeting because I just wasn't feeling like anything would come from meeting up with him.

It was the oddest thing. We met up, chatted a little bit, and then he got quiet. Very very quiet. I tried to keep the conversation going, but he wasn't helping (ie asking questions, making comments, etc.). Then, he started touching my hand, stroking my hair, rubbing my back. I started feeling strange. Right after, he asked me the most crazy question. He wanted to "do it" with me before leaving town. I refused. It was strange.

Does anyone have any comments about him/this situation or experiences to share? I would like to hear. I don't understand why he would ask me something like this when I haven't seen him in a long time. Also, I would like to know what kind of person asks another person for something like this when they aren't together and/or are known to not be in a relationship that would enable one person to ask another person for that! Thanks for listening everyone. Talking to everyone on here has been helpful.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2010, 04:54 AM

If I had told you that's what he wanted, would you have met up with him? You expected an apology, but got an insult.

Curiosity satisfied?

teastalk · Jun 1, 2010, 01:20 PM

I think everyone has to go through situations and find out first hand. If I had let him go without meeting up, I might have always wondered about what he wanted to say. Now I know what he wanted to say. I do very much like to hear everyone's advice because it is always helpful, no matter what the outcome.

What you mentioned before about FACTS and not FEELINGs, I didn't understand before. I think what you were trying to say was to examine the situation. This situation needed to be examined in light of our relationship status, how many times we talked prior, and his parting words.

This reminds me about what someone else wrote on the board about expectations and false hope lead to something like pain or hurting. Also, what you said before about facts and not feelings also makes me think of the cliché "perception is reality."

Romefalls19 · Jun 2, 2010, 05:19 AM

You satisfied your curiosity, now hopefully you can finally move past this and give up on this clown.

teastalk · Jun 3, 2010, 01:50 AM

I wish it were as simple as that - move on and give up. It is so difficult to let go. I think I'm stuck with a big pile of baggage. :(

Now I know why people don't meet up with their exes, it's because it makes you wonder "what if" and "should I have done this or that" and "what does this mean"?? When really, there is nothing to wonder about. If the other person wanted to be with you, they would be with you. They would apologize profusely and be all you ever wanted them to be. But, if they are not doing that, then there is nothing to wonder about.

In conclusion, don't meet up with exes. :( If they wanted you back you would know it from their message. Also, 99.9% of the time they don't want to get back together, they just unwittingly decide to contact you in order to screw up your life again.

Am I wrong in believing this?