[shatteredsoul]

I have many thoughts running through my mind about people, life, and what is it all about? I don't have a lot of answers, but just more questions. I know what I live by and what kind of person I am. I cannot control how others treat me, but how I respond. I know being a good person and helping others makes me feel good, but there is no guaranty that others will be good to you or help you. I know that when you do nice things, it isn't to get something in return.. it is the simple act of doing that matters. Intent matters more than the destination. I get all of that. Sometimes the statement.. "Nice people finish last", comes to mind. I mean, for all of us who are helpful, compassionate, kind, and selfless.. well.. sometimes we get screwed. I am not saying that karma doesn't work in its own way. I know it does. I give the universe credit for that. What I am saying is that it seems the struggles and hardships seem to hit the ones that really deserve better. Why is it that this life is full of strife for those that least deserve it?? I don't know why people who are greedy and selfish and mean, seem to get more than they deserve. Is it just part of being in this earthly existence? I know material things mean nothing and we shouldn't base happiness on what we have, but when we are struggling to keep what we have and yet still trying to help others, when DO WE GET A BREAK? :confused:
I don't need a million dollars and I don't need a mansion. I don't need fame or a expensive car to feel good about myself. BUT it would be nice if they the wind was behind my back, just to catch up.. catch my breath.. KEEP my home and pay my bills. I see my husband work his a$$ off trying to keep his small business afloat. He helps our employess with their problems, he helped our friends and gave them money when they got evicted.. we have our friends come visit our home and treat them to wonderful excursions. YET now that we are struggling, now that we are in a hole that we can't get out of, it seems no one ever helps us back. NOT that we ever ask for it, but even when those people are are doing great and they know we helped them.. they don't even try. They don't even offer.
Now everyone turns their back and has nothing to say. It just seems harsh. It actually just hurts my feelings. I guess because my last dollar goes to the homeless guy doesn't mean a friend who owes me money.. is ever going to give it. Even when they have it and they know we need it. I won't ever ask either. I don't even want it. I just have a hard time with people that I know and love that are so incredibly selfish. I am not so I guess I just don't understand. But I don't have to. Life is tough, get over it right? :rolleyes:
I am not going to crawl into a corner and start rocking back and forth, I get up and keep going. I just don't ever feel the right to be depressed when there are always things to be thankful for. It just seems my heart gets broken a lot by people that I think I know.. that I have always cared about and helped any way I can. Sometimes even if they just asked how they could help, would matter more than actually doing anything. THE INTENT is what matters. They don't intend to look out for anybody but themselves so they don't feel motivated to help someone who helped them.
Does this sound like I am being childish? I know.. I shouldn't have any expectations and then I won't ever be disappointed. Is it right to be disappointed in people? Does it even matter? How do I get through difficult times without being sad or frustrated? I don't know.
I do know that there are plenty of things that are good in this world.. I just have so many worries right now. I sometimes lose sight of it all. Its scary right now. I don't know what is going to happen. I do have faith but sometimes.. it seems I am always trying to outrun impending doom.:eek:

[JudyKayTee]

If you think you are suffering from depression or could become depressed then you should speak with a medical professional.

But as far as "why" - I know exactly what you mean. It sounds like you are struggling and other people either don't notice or you think they don't care.

I found that sometimes people don't say anything because they don't know what to say - they just don't know what to do. Your situation could also be their nightmare and seeing you go through it just scares them more.

These are tough times.

My husband died in 2007. People I did not hear from then or who only sent a card or now beginning to call and stop over. At first I was saddened and puzzled that I lost their friendship but now they say they didn't know WHAT do do or say, how to handle the situation. Women tell me that I'm their greatest fear - a widow after 5 years of marriage - and at first having contact with me just reaffirmed that it MIGHT happen to them.

You sound like you always do your best and are kind and compassionate - but, unfortunately, the World by and large is not.

And some people will never face their obligations or pay back favors (or money, for that matter). They think they are entitled!

And, again, these are tough times.

[shatteredsoul]

Yes, you are so right. I cannot even imagine losing my husband so quickly in our life together. I don't understand why things like that happen. I can only think that my tough times are not a fraction of what others go through all over the world. I do feel that and it makes me feel ashamed for being so upset. I guess it just finally hit us and we will get through this.. life isn't about what you have and I know that. I know people like you that have been through some serious struggle, are helping me see that.
I learn from others and their wisdom and I thank you for humbling me.

[JudyKayTee]

No, I didn't mean "cheer up, it could be worse," or that my situation was in any way worse than yours. Not at all.

What I meant was that when bad things happen people don't know WHAT to do - and so they do/say nothing.

And there will always be jerks in the World - unfortunately, you can't really tell who the jerks are until you are counting on them and they are absent.