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zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 07:51 AM

Threads merged and edited for grammer, text speak, and sentence structure, geez!!!!

I don't know what to do my boyfriend got a gay girl pregnant.
Ok.. me an my boyfriend were going out for 4 years, I had a baby by him. Then this gay girl, an her girlfriend wanted to have a baby. She came an asked him, can he give her an baby. I told him not to. He told me, it wasn't going to be his baby, its going to be their baby, and he's not going to take care of it. So I still said no. So we broke up then, we went back out. He told me that's she's pregnant by him, and he's going to claim the baby. He also said that he doesn't want to be with her, he wants to be with me, and she don't want to be with him, she wants to be with her girlfriend. I am so lost, I don't know what to do. Can someone give me some helping advice on what to do? I love this man, and he (loves me), but this is going to pull us apart. So can someone help? Thanks

Justwantfair · Mar 30, 2009, 08:01 AM

If you can't deal with it, you leave him.

Romefalls19 · Mar 30, 2009, 08:05 AM

If you cannot handle this, and I would not. Then leave him as you deserve better, make sure to get child support though.

adam_89 · Mar 30, 2009, 08:45 AM

Have you had any talks with this woman who had sex with you boyfriend for the baby? What do you mean he is claiming the baby? I was a little confused by that.

adam_89 · Mar 30, 2009, 08:47 AM

Also, What is it that you need to find out or need help with? Have you considered counseling with him?

artlady · Mar 30, 2009, 08:49 AM

Sad to say that there is nothing you can do about it now that the baby is on its way.

You said he is going to claim the baby.What does that mean?

If he does not have a legal contract he will be paying child support for this child until he/she is 18.

If he is determined to be a part of this child's life than as difficult as it may be for you emotionally,you may want to get on board.

This is only going to pull you apart if you allow it to.

I don't think it was fair of him to go against your wishes but the fact is the child is a reality now and if you want to be with him,you are going to have to accept it.

Why do you feel that this is going to tear you apart? Clearly,if she is a lesbian she is not into your boyfriend.

What is it about the situation you feel will pull you apart?

Ren6 · Mar 30, 2009, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by adam_89

Have you had any talks with this woman who had sex with you boyfriend for the baby? What do you mean he is claiming the baby? I was a little confused by that.

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc. she can always change her mind later.

jeffrey michael · Mar 30, 2009, 08:55 AM

That's a very odd situation, but if he did not respect your wishes when you told him not to do it. Then he is not a man, and you deserve better, Its going to take some time to get past it but you will be better off for it. There is someone out there for you that will treat you like the woman that you are, and listen to you.

starlite1 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:00 AM

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your boyfriend to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination?

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by Ren6

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc., she can always change her mind later.

I mean like if anybody ask him is that his baby he's going to say yes an he's going to spend time with the baby an everything

artlady · Mar 30, 2009, 09:04 AM

There are also legal issues that need to be addressed.

Is the commitment he is making to spend time with the child that is upsetting you?

artlady · Mar 30, 2009, 09:07 AM

You have posted this earlier.You create confusion when you have two threads going.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:09 AM

Yea if that's there baby why should you spend time with it. I don't know whether to stay with him or leave him

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:09 AM

Originally Posted by adam_89

Also, What is it that you need to find out or need help with? Have you considered counseling with him?

I need help with ether staying or leaveing

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by Ren6

I'm confused by that, too. Is he going to put the baby on his medical insurance plan or something?

I think the two of you should head to couple's counseling. He went against your wishes and got another woman pregnant. He's opened himself up to a potential $torm of litigation. Even if she swore to him she'd never sue him for child support, etc., she can always change her mind later.

No he's not doing that

artlady · Mar 30, 2009, 09:14 AM

If you can't accept this child and you feel that you will never be able to ,then I think you need to end your relationship.

I do not say that lightly because you have your own child that you both should be parenting.

No one has to walk a mile in your shoes so no one can tell you to stay or go.

It depends on whether you can accept this child in your life.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by artlady

If you can't accept this child and you feel that you will never be able to ,then I think you need to end your relationship.

I do not say that lightly because you have your own child that you both should be parenting.

No one has to walk a mile in your shoes so no one can tell you to stay or go.

It depends on whether or not you can accept this child in your life.

I could except the child in my life but I just don't want to look stupid an I don't think I can trust him

starlite1 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:20 AM

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your boyfriend to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination?

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by starlite1

Not for nothing? If this girl wanted to get pregnant so badly, and she is gay, why did she choose your bf to sleep with? Didn't she ever hear of artificial incemination??

I have no idea but do you think I should stay or leave

talaniman · Mar 30, 2009, 09:23 AM

LEAVE!!!!!!!!

I am appalled he made that decision, to have a child with another, over your objections. That wasn't very thoughtful or caring, him putting the needs of strangers, over you.

See a lawyer, for a free consultation, to protect the right of your own child, by the court system, just in case they change their minds.

That was pretty selfish, and a real deal breaker in my opinion, and a callous disrespect, to the needs, and concerns of you, AND the child you have together.

Sorry, but that's an unthinkable action to take, even if they paid him... did they?