[SweetChick10101]

Threads merged and edited

Well,
I know most people giving me this advice will tell me I am too young. I'm 14 and in 8th grade and I have never had a boyfriend. I'm smart, and funny, pretty, and nice, and all of my friends and a lot of people in my grade constantly are "going out" or have had a boyfriend. I can't stand it. I know everyone tells me I shouldn't even be worrying about relationships, but why do my friends always have a boy to talk to, am I too shy? I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Guys tell me I'm cute but no one does anything about it. I really just want to be liked. People have liked me but I guess I'm not good enough and I hate it. :(

Okay well,
I think that if most guys took the chance to get to know me, we could be good friends or even more than that. Nobody ever really tries to make a move on me and I'm kind of shy so I don't want to be the one to make the first move. All my friends are flirting with guys all the time and I feel like I don't open up because of my personality. What do I do? I'm pretty and smart and funny, why won't any guys try to get to know me?

[FRISTBORN1]

Well,
I know most people giving me this advice will tell me I am too young. I'm 14 and in 8th grade and I have never had a boyfriend. I'm smart, and funny, pretty, and nice, and all of my friends and a lot of people in my grade constantly are "going out" or have had a boyfriend. I can't stand it. I know everyone tells me I shouldn't even be worrying about relationships, but why do my friends always have a boy to talk to, am I too shy? I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Guys tell me I'm cute but no one does anything about it. I really just want to be liked. People have liked me but I guess I'm not good enough and I hate it. :(

Yes you are good enough. The problem is you are intimidating, because of your smarts and you beauty. Most boys and men want a helpless, stupid woman. My advice is to change your circle of friends, find people on your level. Join book clubs things that smart people do and you will find someone on your level. Trust its not you its them. Good things come to those who wait.

[Scleros]

... I'm kind of shy so I don't want to be the one to make the first move.... why won't any guys try to get to know me?

Two way street babe. Y'gotta look approachable. Pretty, smart, and funny!. bloody intimidating.

[neverme]

No boyfriend, does not equal unattractive or not good enough.


I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 18. I know, shock, horror!!!! :eek:

But you know what I did do? Enjoyed myself by hanging out with my friends, doing activities I enjoyed... generally being a teenager..

If you don't change the way you feel about yourself, no one else will be able to see the pretty, confident, fun-loving girl that is somewhere inside of you, all they will see is a desperate girl who is looking for anyone not someone.

So my advice: Start loving yourself, because before you manage that you are never going to find peace and happiness. I guarantee you that when you stop searching for someone to love you and start having a good time, by yourself and with friends etc. you will find someone that really likes you for you...

[talaniman]

Often shy people give off a vibe of being uninterested, especially to impatient young guys.

It doesn't take much to encourage them when they do show interest, often a few questions about them, will do it. Don't be so shy, you don't have to flirt, but listen, pay attention, and carry your end of the conversation.

Saying hi, is not flirting, and can help you get over that shyness. The same things that work with your girlfriends will usually work with the guys too.

Bet your not shy around your friends. That's your key, just be friendly, and patient.

[haleyisamazing1]

Hey, don't worry. Its definitaly not you! Its themm boys. They're pretty stupid if they don't want a girl like youu. Make some new friends! Open up! Show everyone your fun side. Trust me. If you do that, they will want to get to know you!

[jmw0713]

Man, when I was in 8th grade, I was NOT thinking about getting a girlfriend. I was too busy riding my bike, playing Super Nintendo, going fishing, and creating innocent mischief.

I don't think you should be worried about this. Just have fun being 14 and do what 14 yo girls do. The boys will come.

I mean you're not even in High school yet. There is plenty of time for boys. Just do your own thing and get through school.

[liz28]

Your going have plenty of boys once you get older. You don't need them and all the emotions that comes along with having a boyfriend.

Enjoy your youth and friends.

[SweetChick10101]

Thank you everyone!! I love the advice <33

[TrampolineKing]

Well, if you haven't had a boyfriend yet, a lot of girls will envy you so much, because relationships can be really stressful. You just have to be ready for a relationship, and if your smart and pretty, it shouldn't be too long before someone has a crush on you. Now, maybe, why not try doing something that boys like doing. No, I'm not talking about padding up and playing rugby, I'm on about, maybe congregate where the local boys hang out, ask along some of your 'Girlfrends', and make a night of it.
You can kill two birds wth one stone, by having a great night out and maybe pulling a bloke ;).
But seriously now, just talk to some boys in your class, and I bet at least one boy has similar likes and dislikes to you.
Then, who knows what it could lead to..

[Xx_halfmoon_xX]

Hey

I know how you feel but maybe boys have not asked you out because there scared you say no and you should always wait for the right boy.:)

I hoped that helped you.x

[Gabriella19]

I don't flirt with boys... but sometimes I see my friends how they get bfs and dates... they just flirt with them and I think that is what you have to do if you really want to get a boyfriend..

make compliments to the boy you like..

look at him..

show him that you like him..

If the boy likes you as well he will feel more comfortable to ask you out

Good luck and enjoy =]

Appreciate what you have till now..

smile

and be confident with boys..

[Alekot]

Yes you are good enough. The problem is you are intimidating, because of your smarts and you beauty. Most boys and men want a helpless, stupid woman.

That's just not true. Its an excuse that women with low-social-skills make to avoid self-introspection. It's the same excuse geeky guys make "oh women want stupid loud aholes, bla bla bla. They don't like smart or nice guys".

It's the same lie/rationalization. Most "smart" women are smart because they used studying and working hard as a way to avoid the real world, because they fear and don't fit into it.

The low-self-esteem and social skills in combination with the "smarts" that they built up to feel superior results in a very definite "arrogance" and stand-offishness that puts off guys.

This is my advice to the original poster in fact. If you can't get a boyfriend, its because you're not approachable. You most likely have a facial expression of "talk to me, and I will scream". You need to be approachable.

Your shyness is making you come across as arrogant, not shy. Most people misinterpret shyness.