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    catch 22's Avatar
    catch 22 Posts: 34, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #21

    May 22, 2009, 02:34 PM

    It depends, you really didn't give much detail.

    Just based on what you said, you don't have the right to get mad at her if you allow yourself to have friends of the opposite sex.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #22

    May 22, 2009, 02:36 PM
    If you can hang out with friends that are girls, why can't she hang out with friends that are guys? Isn't this a double standard?
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    May 22, 2009, 03:06 PM

    I really don't know maybe its cause she lost her virginity to a one night stand? Like I'm not sure maybe that could be it...
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    May 22, 2009, 03:07 PM
    But I'm also not a virgin so iunno maybe its just me
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #25

    May 22, 2009, 03:09 PM
    Sounds like you are being insecure more than overprotective.

    Did she do something to make you not trust her?

    Did she cheat on you for that one-night stand? Or was it before you started dating?

    It sounds like it's your problem though. It's all happening in your mind.
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    May 22, 2009, 03:12 PM

    It was before we started dating but I sort of no who the guy is... I no its my problem like I'm to involved with her and its not good like I'm becoming attached and in the long run its just going to hurt more it shouldn't bother me that she has guy friends but it does like I'm just confused
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #27

    May 22, 2009, 03:14 PM
    Sounds like you have issues. That was her past, not her present. If you can't live with that you are going to have to have a relationship with a virgin.
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    May 22, 2009, 03:20 PM

    Lol I practically love this girl... its just deveolping trust I guess... which how do I do if I'm scared of getting hurt
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #29

    May 22, 2009, 03:23 PM
    Getting hurt is part of a growing process. We all get hurt we all learn from it.

    Although it sounds as though you may be hurting her worse than she is hurting you.
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #30

    May 22, 2009, 03:25 PM

    Mhmm I agree with you... kk but thanks a lot though! Will c what happens!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #31

    May 22, 2009, 03:57 PM
    Look at it this way... If we never get hurt, how do we know what true happiness is?
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #32

    May 22, 2009, 04:32 PM

    that's true... but actually I think I no why its bothering me... I think really because its kind of random how there hanging out and I don't even no if there close friends... so why would they hang out 1 on... and how do I talk to her about it so she doesn't get mad/hurt
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #33

    May 24, 2009, 11:20 AM
    Lied too what should I do?
    K so make a long storey short me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for a while we have been on 2 breaks all because of her... umm last night she ditched telling me she had to babysit but really I found out her and her friend went out with some guys... im really confused in weather what I should doo.. like how am I suppose to build trust if she lied to me.. I just feel heartbroken... but I always get mad when she hangs out with other guys so maybe by her telling me she was babysitting was for my own good. I've talked to her and told her for her to talk to me when she finds out what the problem is she told me she couldn't tell me the problem so I'm just confused
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
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    #34

    May 24, 2009, 11:34 AM

    Don't cover for her, saying that her lying to you is for your own good. She lied to you to go out with her friend and some guys. That's something serious man, she might not be faithful to you to be honest.

    You need to ditch this girl, she seems too into herself and too worried about herself. What you need to do is find yourself again. Pick up all the pieces in your life and get yourself back, without her. She is no good.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #35

    May 24, 2009, 12:50 PM

    I know you want to sugar coat her lies and deny them. I know you want to twist the lies into something more positive. But if you were giving advice to another person, you would be more objective.

    If she lost your trust, it's her job to earn it back. If she can't even put the effort, then she's not the one for you.

    You don't have to suffer this way. You choose to suffer. You can leave her and find someone else who won't break your heart this way.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #36

    May 24, 2009, 02:05 PM

    A lie is lie no matter how big or small it is. Once someone starts lying you never know what to believe and it leads to you questioning everything that person said because they created you to doubt them.

    If your having problems with her hanging out with guys then I must ask why? Not to try to cover or take out for her but maybe she lied because she knew it would lead to an agruement and who wants to agrue? So it was easier not to be honest in order to bypass an agruement.

    If your insecure with your girlfriends having male friends then maybe she isn't the girl for you. Now if she gave you a reason not to trust her male friends then that is another story.

    I've a fiancé and we both have friends of the opposite sex. I have met and hung out with his friends just like he have with mines. There is no funny business nor lines being cross with my male friends. Actually I have more male friends than females because the a few of the females friends I had was flaky, pity, and a little jealous. They did some things I didn't want to go through and surprise me with their mailcious ways.

    So the question is, "what are you going do?"
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #37

    May 24, 2009, 02:23 PM

    She lied to you. Trust is broken. You will always second guess her. If you can overcome that, and completely trust her, it is up to you if you can forgive her but don't hold that on her forever. If you cant, move on.
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #38

    May 24, 2009, 07:45 PM

    K guys thanks u everyone I am going to move on! Wish me luckk
    heartbreakkid13's Avatar
    heartbreakkid13 Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #39

    May 26, 2009, 02:51 PM
    What's the point of dating?
    K this might sound really stupid but if your young and not anywhere close of getting married... what is the point of dating when it just hurts to get out of a relationship... like if you know a relationship isn't going to go anywhere what is the point of starting it in the first place?knowing your just going to get hurt in the long run as it progresses
    salamander5's Avatar
    salamander5 Posts: 87, Reputation: 5
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    #40

    May 26, 2009, 02:56 PM

    I used to think the same thing but I guess it's to experiment with different kinds of people and learn more about yourself and the kinds of people you're compatible with. Anyway, you have to date a person before you decide to marry them anyway, so I guess you never know if you're going to end up marrying a person.

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