[ameet711]

HI people
I am an engineer working in a mnc firm. My problem is though I am good at work, I end up maing no friends and sitting alone at the cafetria having lunch alone. It's just not food but in general to share my happiness,sadness I need friends. How can I make friends?how can I approach them and make them comfortable? Though there are colleagues during projects who talk nicely but it;'s related to the projects all the time.nobody talks/listens to personal incidents,issues.
Please help me make friends

[Justwantfair]

Try bringing in donuts for the office.

Try asking about others personal lives, the things that they like to do outside of work, what they do in their spare time. Ask about their families. By taking an interest in their lives they will take an interest in yours.

Always be sure that you aren't only full of problems and dilemnas, share your own interest life experiences.

[JBeaucaire]

My parents raised me on some specific concepts. One was a correction in the way I perceive "friends".

My parents would say, "A friend is something you ARE, not something you HAVE."

That may sound wrong, but in practice it is very helpful. It basically means we all want someone to listen to us gripe and complain to... it's natural. But few people really WANT to do that, even spouses. People REALLY don't want to hear complaints from new people.

So, what to do? Instead of looking for someone to gripe to, you have to initially be the person who listens. Everyone loves a "listener"... I mean, aren't you saying that's what YOU want?

So, to train someone to get used to you long enough to become friendly enough to let you share YOUR personal stuff, show them the way. Be the model.

Another tip: some people come across as "charming" and some come across as "needy". You know what the difference usually boils down to? Interest in other people.

Charm = sincere and unquestionable interest in the person right in front of you

Needy = unwavering need to be listened to

So, "charm" is the key to making new "friends". If your cafeteria is full of people talking "shop", then go find some and listen to their "shop talk" and admire them to their faces.

A few weeks of that and they will start to pry into who you are, and you can take it from there.

[twinkiedooter]

If none of the above works try reading a book while you eat. That's what I do/did and I happily had a much better lunchtime being with someone I liked, namely the book. I didn't have to play office politics, etc. I could do enough of that during actual work hours I didn't need any more when I wanted to eat my lunch in peace and quiet.