Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    09sgarcia's Avatar
    09sgarcia Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 21, 2009, 10:14 AM
    Want my relationship to work but have lost feelings
    I have been with my boyfriend for eleven months. He is the perfect boyfriend! He is attentive, affectionate, patient, caring etc. He is everything I could want to spend the rest of my life with. For the past eleven months we've spent all of our time together. And until the last month I felt so much love for him and I knew without a doubt that he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
    A month ago, literally overnight, I felt like I lost all my feelings for him. The next couple of days were so hard for me all I could do was cry and wanted my feelings back. I was so happy before and that's all I wanted. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said he would be here for me no matter what and we could work together to make it work. So for the last month I've been trying to convince myself that the nagging feeling of doubt would just go away but it hasn't.
    This is my first serious relationship and I don't know what I would do without my boyfriend but the last couple of days the doubting feeling has gotten stronger and I feel like there is something missing in my relationship and I don't know what it is. Is this just a normal part of a relationship? Should I stay with him? Would taking a break from him help?
    As weird as it sounds I can't picture my life without him but I can't imagine being happy with him right now but I want to be.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 21, 2009, 10:28 AM

    Take a break, and do something else besides be with him. You wouldn't be the first one whose feelings have changed about their partner, but you can take time to see if they have changed, faded, or just disappeared.

    What, you thought love was the only thing a relationship is really about??

    A life time is more than 11 months, much more. How old are you two any way??
    chicken dust's Avatar
    chicken dust Posts: 3, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 21, 2009, 10:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Take a break, and do something else besides be with him. You wouldn't be the first one whose feelings have changed about their partner, but you can take time to see if they have changed, faded, or just disappeared.

    What, you thought love was the only thing a relationship is really about???

    A life time is more than 11 months, much more. How old are you two any way???
    He sounds like a good guy, " do this " put on a nice dress "no'' pantie's take a nice drive stop at a nice park have some good quickie sex and I bet you will feel better.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 21, 2009, 03:44 PM

    You should spend some time apart. During that time apart, you will either realize that you're better off without him or you really miss him.

    I think that you need to find the root of your doubts. You haven't said a single bad thing about this guy, but obviously something is missing, so spend some time to reflect on that and figure it out.
    09sgarcia's Avatar
    09sgarcia Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Mar 23, 2009, 11:31 AM
    Can breaking up because I'm bored lead to a successful getting back together?
    Threads merged

    . We broke up because I had gotten bored with our relationship and felt like it was going no where. Im 17 and he is 19. I can see us together later on but just not right now. Do you guys think that we could successfully get back together in the future?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Mar 23, 2009, 11:40 AM

    What if he changes his feeling like you did, and moves on?
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Mar 23, 2009, 11:46 AM

    You're still very young and there's a chance that he's not going to wait on you to get your head together. If you're not sure you want to be with him, leave him free so that someone else can come along.
    tasha87's Avatar
    tasha87 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jan 16, 2011, 06:35 AM
    It is strange for me to respond to this question as I've experienced the opposing position of your situation. My boyfriend recently told me he had lost his feelings for me after having told me numerouse times that we would spend our lives together, go to prom, colledge, marry, have children, become grandparents and die together. Although, this isn't the first time he's had mixed feelings. He has told me that the past 3 weeks he's been uncertain of his affection towards me but tried to make sense of it and have the feelings again, all whilst acting as though things were perfectly normal between us. Only two days ago we confronted each other and he broke up with me, but gave me reason as to why he was uncertain of his feelings. Recently he has developed hidden feelings for another girl that he never truly got over, and in these new feelings, he got himself confused with feelings he felt for me. He says that he's done with love, because its deceiving, and things always change, but then again, he's always been a bit of a drama queen ;). I still love him with my whole heart and know I will never truly get over him, but I feel comfort knowing that we will be friends, which is good because even through out our relationship, the friendship we shared was one of the best aspects, I feel glad knowing that all promises were not broken and that we will always love each other and always be together.. as friends :). My advice to you is this, if feelings still do not emerge for your boyfriend break up and promise you will always be friends, and he will always be loved by you in THAT respect. Be happy with your new friendship and in the future, this friendship may developpe yet again into the romantic affection you once felt. I link MY recent breakup heavily to the fact that lately we've lost a lot of the friendship I loved so much, and getting back to it will be much better than him forcing himself to love me. Who knows, maybe he'll realise he does care for me in that way after having remembered how much fun we had together just hanging out, but until then, I'll find happiness with my new best friend :)<3

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

I'm Lost in a relationship with a my Man! [ 2 Answers ]

I met this lovely man at church he is 40 years of age. I am 29. First of all our couple of months were brilliant. He was unemployed and I am still unemployed. We went away to places and had fun together all the time, I understood he had friends and I let him go. Towards our relationship now we have...

My boyfriend says he has mixed feelings about our relationship. [ 14 Answers ]

Hello, Last weekend, My boyfriend of 2 years told me that he had mixed feelings about our relationship. He only confesed to this after I found out that he had been communicating with this girl via his FB account. Not very explicit but definitely sexual innuendos betwwen them. He said that he...

Acting on "lost puppy wanting to be loved" feelings? [ 5 Answers ]

I don't have a relationship right now, and have not for a long time. I want to write about some incidents, and would appreciate other's thoughts. Part of the problem is that I don't feel like I am able to offer much to someone new in my life right now. I am struggling to make it on my own...

Can lost feelings be revived? [ 6 Answers ]

I'm 23, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me stating that he does not feel the same way he initially did when he went out with me few years ago. I was wondering if this is what usually happens (feelings get lost) when you're in a long term relationship in the early20s. He never said the three little...


View more questions Search