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turtlegirl16 · Mar 18, 2009, 02:17 PM

I am almost 16. I see people walking around holding hands and I wonder, "why dont I have that?" Yes, I am fat, but I see girls who are bigger than I am who have guys who are really cute. My question is, Why can't I get a boyfriend? I would take just about anyone, seriously, but every time I try, it doesn't work... Why can't I get a boyfriend?:confused::confused::confused::confused:

roxypox · Mar 18, 2009, 02:27 PM

Well first of all you seem a little desperate and that will make it harder for you to get a boy friend, love usually show up when you don't expect it; not when you're looking for it.

And why on earth do you want to take just anyone? No one should just settle for just anyone. Don't you think that you deserve someone great, that you're interested in and who's interested in you..

I think the first thing you need to do is kick back and relax yourself, something's come when they come... even though you really want a boyf now... there really is no hurry.

As for how to get a boyfriend, well how's your social life? Are you involved in any activities (at school, after school?)

liz28 · Mar 18, 2009, 02:58 PM

Down playing yourself isn't good and sometime we find someone when we weren't looking so relax. I understand everyone wants someone but you have plenty of time.

talaniman · Mar 18, 2009, 03:15 PM

Focus on your social life, with activities, and hobbies you enjoy, and if your happy with yourself, you can see the options, and opportunities, that present themselves.

Hey if you don't find love, you'll make friends, and have a good time.

gurlygurl101 · Mar 18, 2009, 04:29 PM

Edited for spelling/chatspeak.

Being fat has absolutely nothing to do with not having a boyfriend. Don't settle for just any guy that comes your way. Try some new hobbies and maybe u will meet a new boy. Try dating someone completely random. Your relationship will probably go better than it would with a guy u already know. Be yourself. I know that sounds dumb... but it really works. Don't try so hard, it causes stress. When your stressed about something, people notice. Stress causes boys to go the other way when they see you, they don't want to get caught up in all of your drama. So basically just chill and you might get a guy.

friend4u178 · Mar 18, 2009, 05:13 PM

NEVER settle for just anyone , that may get you a BF but not necessarily someone you can have a successful Relationship with.

Go out and enjoy yourself and just BE yourself , then someone who likes you for who you are will show interest in you eventually.

There's no rush your still very young.

nikosmom · Mar 18, 2009, 05:50 PM

Nothing is more attractive than confidence in self. Desperation on the other hand, is not. If you don't love yourself, why should anyone else?

Work on building yourself up (pick up a hobby, focus on your friendships, do your "own thang"); in other words: have fun being a teenager.

If you just settle for anyone with a heartbeat, you will not get treated the way you want. Then you'll be back here in 6 months posting, "He treats me like crap... but I love him".

Take your time and let love find you.

colombiantopher · Mar 18, 2009, 05:56 PM

Everyone else pretty much said it.

Let the guy come from to you. Apply yourself to social activities after school or something. Someone will come just don't stress about it. I know its hard but you got to pull yourself together and go out into the world and be you.

From a guys point of view.. just don't act so desperate to find someone and don't settle for anyone.

Good luck :)

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 19, 2009, 04:10 AM

Looking for love never seems to work, men are like buses when you want one there is none there, when you do 3 come at once! But being desperate for love is not good, and seriously taking anyone is not a wise choice. I think you need to wait it out and soon enough someone will come alone. Until then work on yourself, think about what you would like from a man and don't settle for anything.

bobbalina · Mar 19, 2009, 07:40 AM

If you really like this certain boy, then just go up and talk to him. Just make sure he's not in a relationship! It worked the first time I tried and I have a wonderful boyfriend who seems to love me for me. And the whole 'fat' thing... well I am too. And I learned that it has nothing to do with that. Learn to love yourself for you before you try to find a guy. My guy actaully helped boost my confidence up before we dated... but then he made it better when he asked me out :):):):) the desperate thing doesn't work either cause I tried that from 6th grade all the way to last year (im n 11th) I've turned out having a lot of doseys and I got hurt a lot too... and it took a while to recover... think of what you would want in a guy first before you start looking for a guy

unspeaken21 · Mar 19, 2009, 09:00 PM

And it also seems like you don't respect yourself much...

But don't worry...

When I was your age I wasn't lucky either, even though I was acceptable.. but as I got older, my luck got better(but just because my luck got better it didn't mean I dated the first guy who came to me)... just give it time...

In the end its going to work out fine.. you just need to be in the right state of mind

Just don't rush in to anything, and take life as it comes...

talaniman · Mar 20, 2009, 07:51 AM

Wanting a date, or a relationship with just any one is a recipe for disaster. Be careful what you ask for, as any bum who gives you attention, or says the right things you want to hear, may not give you a positive experience.

The better relationships are about honest, good clean, fun! That happens when you have fun getting to know each other, and seeing if you both feel the same way. The key word is BOTH.

That takes time to develop, and in the meantime have fun by YOURSELF. Be happy by YOURSELF. That's what attracts people to you.

turtlegirl16 · Mar 20, 2009, 03:54 PM

Oh, trust me, being myself is NOT working.

talaniman · Mar 20, 2009, 04:05 PM

Tell us about yourself then.

turtlegirl16 · Mar 21, 2009, 10:57 AM

Um. Obviously I like turtles, it wouldn't be in my name if I did not. I am very energetic (for my size) but my personality... people think I am very strange. So that's why being myself doesn't work very welll.

09sgarcia · Mar 21, 2009, 11:03 AM

Have confidence! Guys can tell when your faking confidence so you need to find true confidence in yourself and who you are!

Have pride in your morals. Don't be easy! Guys will look at you more as a booty call then a girlfriend.

Mommy102808 · Mar 21, 2009, 12:32 PM

Girl, I know just what you are going through and going for someone just because they like you and you two have nothing in common but trying to make it work because you want a boyfriend... doesnt work! Try being confident in yourself and ignoring guys altogether... they will come to you when you least expect it. I know its hard but just give it a shot. Worked for me and I'm not a model. Go for it!

Bengie_1961 · Mar 21, 2009, 01:06 PM

At the tender age of 16, it probably seems to you like a major deal not to have a boyfriend. I'm here to tell you it isn't. Don't focus so much on what's out there, rather focus on what's inside (yourself). Be all you can be. While you're doing this, you're growing and muturing more and seeing life on a different level. And, before you know it, you'll attract the right person for the right reasons. Hang in there!

talaniman · Mar 21, 2009, 05:10 PM

I think all 16 year olds are pretty strange, what makes you different.

turtlegirl16 · Mar 24, 2009, 07:01 AM

Lol, talaniman. You're right we are all pretty strange. But to some people I know, strange is an understatement. Myself confidence is building up by the second but it builds tiny bit by even tinier bit. Which makes it harder on me...