Check out some similar questions!

0656molly · Mar 16, 2009, 06:58 AM

We have helped our daughter and her partner get on the property ladder by lending them the deposite their house was quite run down but as my husband are into diy we have been working to bring it up to standed we have also taken out a loan to help with the mayor work elec/heating and so on there is know problem with the money our problem is with the lack of them helping themselves they don't do a thing now they have a weeks holiday off so I said great we'll really get some work done but madam says she has plans. Their son is two on Thursday and they want to spend the week taking her baby out and about their money is tight, but it's all right for her father and I to use our lesure time and days off to pull their house up to scratch it's lovely been with your baby but as she is expecting another child in oct you would think she would want the house shipshape and if you say anthing you only get a stroppy answer she say's she is not taking us for granted and is respectful
Help June .

Jake2008 · Mar 16, 2009, 08:19 AM

I think you have found yourself between a rock and a hard place.

It was very generous of you to help financially get your daughter and her family a home, and to do so much work there to bring it up to standard.

But, on the other hand, this does not automatically mean that she has somehow agreed to your idea, and/or schedule, of how the repairs are to be done, or when.

While I agree that with a baby on the way, it would be nice to get the work done now, she and her husband choose to do other things. Maybe this holiday she wanted peace and quiet to enjoy some R&R without the upset of a house reno going on?

I'd be inclined to not hold resentment over this. Instead, ask her to mark on a calendar when she can schedule open time for work to get done on the house. It might be better not to presume that her goals are the same as yours. As to when the work on the house will get done.

If you have a schedule of some sort, it will beat the guessing and assuming for all concerned. That way, it is less of a convenience for you and your husband, and your daughter and her family as well.

DoulaLC · Mar 16, 2009, 10:19 AM

I'd give some times when you are available to help them out and let them pick from them. Otherwise, it can be up to them to get the job done, even if it means paying someone else to do it.
Maybe suggest a compromise for the week they have off... work for three days and the rest can be spent for family time.