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cassie-hinkle-1 · Mar 15, 2009, 10:49 PM

I need help my son is almost 3 and his father will not sign the birth cert and will not pay child support and will not give up his rights I am a single mother who has kept myself off welfare because they will go after him and. I am not wanting anything from him, I am just wanting to take his last name off and change it to mine

stevetcg · Mar 16, 2009, 04:42 AM

In order to do that he is going to have to sign off and paternity is going to have to be established...

Basically he cannot have it both ways. He is supposed to be responsible for his child. Who cares what he WANTS. Its what your child is owed.

Jaysmom · May 13, 2009, 05:58 PM

It used to be that if the father didn't have anything to do with the child for two yrs or more, that means no cards, no visits, no nothing you could get it done, as long as you kept it quite and didn't even tell him. You automatically will have to put it in the paper but does he or any of his family read the paper? Does his family have anything to do with the child? Is your dad still around to where you could say he wanted to give him his last name which hopeful is the same as yours. You just have to show that your not doing it illegally for any reason. Check with your lawyer but also if he doesn't see the child or support him in any way, what's the problem. Maybe you should go on aide to show him that he can sign off or play the jail game, if he doesn't pay the support either way he won't be around for the baby.

Good luck but there is away

Jaysmom · May 13, 2009, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

In order to do that he is going to have to sign off and paternity is going to have to be established...

Basically he cannot have it both ways. He is supposed to be responsible for his child. Who cares what he WANTS. Its what your child is owed.

But you can't make someone be a dad or provider that doesn't want to so why push the issue and stress from it later in life when you learn to do it all yourself or have done it yourself all this time.

Jaysmom · May 13, 2009, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by Jaysmom

but you can't make someone be a dad or provider that doesnt want to so why push the issue and stress from it later in life when you learn to do it all yourself or have done it yourself all this time.

Plus if there hasn't been any any knowledge of the paternal father on paper who is going to step up and say they want to pay support if he hasn't done it by now. A good father would but that doesn't seem to be the case

ScottGem · May 13, 2009, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by Jaysmom

but you can't make someone be a dad or provider that doesnt want to so why push the issue and stress from it later in life when you learn to do it all yourself or have done it yourself all this time.

Again, this is a LAW forum, we give advice according to the law, not what people think should happen.

Cassie,
You should have gone to court to get this all straight when the child was born. A birth certificate is a legal document and can only be changed by court order.

Nor can you sneak around to try and get it done. You apparently know how to contact him so doing service by newspaper is not going to cut it.

Your best bet is to get an attorney and get this done right. Go afer him for support. But if he refuses to agree to change the birth certificate, then a court won't force him to.

Jaysmom · May 13, 2009, 06:10 PM

All I can say is every state is different and that there is options to get the name changed you just don't ask the real dad nothing if he does nothing

ScottGem · May 13, 2009, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Jaysmom

all i can say is every state is different and that there is options to get the name changed you just dont ask the real dad nothing if he does nothing

Please cite any statute to support your claim. Yes states have different laws, but I know of no state that would allow a legal document to be changed without the consent of both parties. The only time that would happen is if a good faith effort was made to find the other party. Just not telling them is NOT good faith. You are advising the OP to commit perjury.

Jaysmom · May 13, 2009, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Please cite any statute to support your claim. Yes states have different laws, but I know of no state that would allow a legal document to be changed without the consent of both parties. The only time that would happen is if a good faith effort was made to find the other party. Just not telling them is NOT good faith. You are advising the OP to commit perjury.

If there is no father known on paperwork for records and she just put a name on the baby and the name is the name of someone who she claims to be the father but yet he never took responsillty to signing papers then why does she need permission to change the name to another name on her own.

ScottGem · May 13, 2009, 06:55 PM

If you read the OP more carefully you will see his name IS on the birth certificate and she wants to take it off.

stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by Jaysmom

but you can't make someone be a dad or provider that doesnt want to so why push the issue and stress from it later in life when you learn to do it all yourself or have done it yourself all this time.

Yes, you actually can. That's why child support exists. You can't make him be a dad but you can make him be a provider.