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rockerchick_682 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:03 PM

I have this really great friend, but now I feel like she's not the person I thought she was. I feel like I ignored all her bad qualities. Now that we've gotten to know each other better, she can be really rude. For example; one day we were talking about politics and I listened to her for quite some time about what she thought about Obama's recovery plan. I processed it and after listening to one of his speech's I tried to give my opinion on it but she blew me off and told me she didn't want to hear it. Even though I didn't agree with her I still listened and didn't fight her about it. Another time we were at the library and I offered to go find the book she was looking for and she replied with, "You don't even know who that is." I tried to do her a favor and she responded with something rude and condescending. She says things like this all the time. I've been doing slightly better than her in school and she takes my excitement as me bragging about my grades. I do ask her what she's been getting, but not to show her that I did better, I was just curious. Basically, I don't like who she is anymore, but I live with her. She never tells me if I annoy her, she'll just text the person next to her about how "pissy"I am all the time. She said that this was just venting, but there's a difference between venting and talking about someone behind their back. What do I do about her?

adam_89 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:21 PM

I would kick her out and make her realize a few things before trying to be so rude. Maybe that is not the best thing to do. Tell her that her behaviour is unacceptible and things need to change.

rockerchick_682 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:25 PM

If only it was that easy! Then I'd have my own room! I've tried to talk to her about several times, but the only time she'll talk is over texting or Facebook and even then, she's stopped talking to me. She gets really fake and polite and it drives me insane! Her way of dealing with things is to avoid them and hope I get over it.

adam_89 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:34 PM

Well, that is no way of dealing with things. I take it you are roommates somewhere? Shouldn't she see how the real world is. Maybe then she wouldn't be as harsh.

rockerchick_682 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:37 PM

I don't know what to do, I'm about to explode and scream at her, I can't hold things in.

adam_89 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:42 PM

Wellm if she is going to be stubborn and not face reality and talk about you behind your back. Maybe you should scream at her.

rockerchick_682 · Mar 10, 2009, 09:48 PM

Well she finally came and talked to me. The first thing she said was that she was going to move out because it wasn't a good idea to live together because of how much time we spend together. She said some other things, but one thing she said bothered me. She said that friends are only for having fun with. For me, friends are for having fun with, but you're not always going to get along with everyone all the time; so sometimes, you tell them what's bothering you and you work it out. Normal right?

I feel like if she had actually talked to me about some things, that this situation wouldn't be as dramatic. Not that I mind having my own room. How am I supposed to be her friend when all I'm there for is to have "fun" with. How can you be friends with someone that would rather pretend everything is OK than just talk it out and get it over with?

JoeCanada76 · Mar 10, 2009, 10:03 PM

Each person have a different way to deal with conflict and some like to hide away and pretend everything is fine all the time. Which is unrealistic and eventually will make things worse.

Sounds like that the best thing for this person is to move out.
Friends, true friends are people who will lift each other up in times of good and of bad.

Is she truly your friend? If it is time to move on and your growing and changing as well. Maybe it is better to part more ways then one. That is something you need to figure out on your own.