[esyrdr413]

I have a 41 year old daughter,that I was providing a cell phone for and paying her
Bill, also I was providing auto insurance for her and she was suppose to pay me
Monthly for the coverage,since I have no accidents, her full coverage was only
$50.00 a month, and she has only paid for her auto coverage about four times
In about two years.She stopped by the other day and was transferring a large
Amount of money from one account to another from her income taxes, I asked
Her to pay her auto insurance and she said OK later I will,and she left,I called
Her several times and she woud'nt answer her phone.She has a good job as the
Manager of a business,so I became enraged and turned off her phone and auto
Insurance,and of course, now she won't speak to me, I forgot to mention
This is my stepdaughter, that I have helped on and off for 17 years.I fell that I
Am only worth $50.00 to her,and do care about her, but don't know any more
What I should do about this problem.

[darkvision]

My advice is that until she learns to appreciate you, do nothing for her in a monetary sense. That isn't saying you shouldn't necessarily still be cordial or anything, but she obviously does not think she needs to pay you for something your doing as a kindness.

[Illusion]

It sounds like you did the right thing - she should be responsible for her own cell phone and auto insurance. She is too old to be counting on you to do that for her. I mean, if she could not pay the bill for some reason or another, and you wanted to help her out - OK, I can see that. But for 2 years you paid these bills and now you get the cold shoulder - you went out of your way to help her. I would be upset also. Could you write her a letter and let her know that you feel hurt that she would stop the relationship without discussing it with you? Or an e-mail? That you care and would like to continue to stay in touch with her.

Be careful that you don't get into a discussion about why you didn't continue to pay those bills - keep it simple by letting her know that you cannot continue to pay for those items - the relationship is not based on that - it is based on the fact that you are family and care for her (as she should also feel for you also). It is time for her to take care of things in her own life without depending on you to do it for her. Hope it works out.

[excon]

I have a 41 year old daughter,that I was providing a cell phone for and paying her bill, also I was providing auto insurance for her and she was suppose to pay me monthly for the coverage,since I have no accidents,

Hello e:

It's fraud against the insurance company for YOU to provide HER insurance. If she were to get into an accident, and it were to come out that it's HER car, they won't pay the claim. So, you're paying for NOTHING in the first place.

excon

[artlady]

She sounds like a spoiled ungrateful child.Being that she is an adult,she should know better.Let her pout and hopefully one day she will come to appreciate you.

[liz28]

What does her father say about her behavior towards you?

If she can't afford to pay her cellphone, car insurance, etc than she shouldn't have it. Let her pay her pay like many other adults do. And if she can be respectful towards you than limit your time around until she can appreciate you and all you done for her. Time for her to enter the real world and pay her own way and in the long run all her ill behavior towards you will come back to her because she'll have no good luck behind this.

[Jake2008]

Somehow this 41 year old successful woman has managed to take a lot from you in the past 17 years.

This may not help, but she can only take what you give.

While you have decided, appropriately in my opinion, that you have to just stop doing that, you'll have to expect that there will be a reaction from her.

I hope that you stay strong, and cut off the financial support. An emergency is one thing, but a cell phone and car insurance is something she should easily be able to pay for herself.