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FosterMom79 · Mar 6, 2009, 03:28 PM

I am a young single woman who wants kids more than anything. I have a friend who has three beautiful kids and one on the way and this one she wants me to raise. I am ecstatic but also am scared because she is good at emotional mind games. I know the possibility of the baby being addicted to drugs but I am wondering if there is anyone out there that could tell me what I can do to ensure this baby's safety and my friend's while not being able to be in the same town as her.

I want this baby born healthy and I am concerned for this little unborn child's safety. Any help and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Can I make her not do drugs or anything to harm baby?

Worried in Alaska!

Synnen · Mar 7, 2009, 12:10 AM

You can report her to child protective services, or call the police and let them know about her drug use.

You have NO legal right to that child until all the paperwork is drawn up, she signs away her parental rights, you legally adopt through the court, and the judge signs off on it.

I would get a lawyer, if you are seriously considering adopting at all, whether this child or another. I would also try to get your friend into some counseling about adoption in general.

You also need to realize that if you adopt this child, it's a very huge likelihood that the biological mother is NOT going to be your friend within a relatively short amount of time after the adoption--mostly because boundaries need to be set up, and it's hard to like someone that tells you what you can and can't do with your child. That works both ways, you know---you are BOTH going to think of this child as "my" child.

My question is this: Would you be as concerned for the welfare of this unborn child if there weren't a possibility of you adopting? Would you do everythign you could to help your friend out if she decided to keep the child? Or is this something you're only concerned about because the child may eventually be "yours"?

Either way, you need to call CPS and let them know about your friend so they can protect her OTHER children as well.