[traxxas4life]

Me and my girl were dating for 2.5 years, we lived together and even had pets together. I knew her whole family and she knew mine. A few days ago she decided she didn't want to be together with me. Everybody I have talked to is in complete shock, her family and friends. She won't talk to her best friend (one of my good friends too). Her friends are worried as am I. How can someone just up and leave like this? She says she is stressed with college and work, and that she wants to go on a break. She also said it doesn't mean we can't get back together someday. Here is the real kicker. Spring break is coming up and her and her mom still want me to go on vacation with her family for the week. What should I do? I really want to, so I can spend time with her and try to win her back, but I am worried that I will overstep my bounds and make the whole trip incredibly awkward. It's only been a few days but every time I talk to her I can't hold the tears in. We were so close and shared everything. This is very rough for me. Any advice?

[kctiger]

Give her what she asked for. And hear me loud and clear here: DO NOT GO ON VACATION with her!! That is totally inappropriate. If she wants space, then give it to her. You don't need to worry about "winning" her back... she isn't a trophy, and love isn't a game. Her feelings are what they are, and ultimately, it would mean much more if she came back on her own.

This break up thing sucks, especially with as much as you have invested, but it is life. It is clear to me, with all of the things she told you (especially the classic, "We can be together in the future" line), that she already knows she doesn't want to be with you right now... it is just hard for her to easily convey that to you, as she still cares for you.. as a PERSON.

[Romefalls19]

Do not attend that vacation! DO NOT ATTEND THAT VACATION! I cannot make that point more clear. Give her the space she needs and lay low for awhile from her family, use this time to heal and re evaluate your life. This is a perfect time to do what you have been putting off, i.e. join a gym, get a hobby.

DO NOT ATTEND THAT VACATION!

[suddenImpact]

A big part of me wants to tell you the same.. don't go on vacation with her. On the other hand, I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Shortly after my x of 5 years left me, she wanted me to go on vacation with her and some of her family.

As hard as it was, I stood my ground and said no, I told her if she wanted space, I was going to give it to her. When she got back, she told me she had really wanted me to go, because she was hoping the time away from home, and together could help us fall back in love with each other. To this day (almost 8 months later) she still kind of rubs it in my face that she wanted to try and work things out, but I didn't want to spend any time with her.

At the time, when she first came home saying that, I absolutely HATED myself for not going. I believed I had ruined my last chance to make myself happy. Looking back on it now, I know I made the right decision. I would be too long to go into details.. but lots of things have happened since then, and looking back at how things REALLY were between us the last 5 years, I know it wouldn't work between her and I anyway.

Part of me still does kind of wonder what would be different if I had gone on that trip, but I know inside I made the right choice.

I do still recommend not going, but obviously would completely understand your decision to go if you do.

[talaniman]

My friend, she didn't just up, and decide to break up with you, you just found out what she has been not telling you regarding this relationship.

Real partners who care move closer together during stressful times, not apart.

Give her the space she asked for and disappear from her life, and forget that vacation with her and her family. It will devastate you because instead of having fun, you will be full of false hope, and the high expectation of winning her back, and there is no such thing as winning someone back.

True love finds a way whether you are there or not, so regroup, and rebuild your own life, without her in it.

Sorry for your loss, but it will get better if your good to yourself.

[traxxas4life]

Thanks folks for your help. She is coming to get more of her stuff from my apartment shortly. It's been hard, and I still think of her most of the day, but I am finally coming to realization that it is over. I'm trying to repair all my failed friendships over the years and that is making it much better. I've been talking to friends I haven't seen since high school, meeting new people and going out most nights. Her best friend is being incredibly helpful with this situation. With out her I don't know where else I would have turned. Who knows this could be one of the best things to happen to me. Like the saying goes, "everything happens for a reason." Thanks again!

[kerriyon]

Don't be sad I'am about to dump my boyfriend cause of the thing he did with my bestfreind gerinika and tried to be sneekey