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Ana52408 · Mar 3, 2009, 05:29 PM

I'm really negative as a person, like instead of thinking of the bright side of things, I think of the bad side. I have a pretty high self esteem so I don't know why I think like this. My boyfriend loves me, I love him, but I sometimes think negative and I always think he is going to leave me or something, I don't know. The thing is I have such a good relationship with my boyfriend, that I'm scared to loose it. I have 54543 friends that have really bad luck with guys or they get dumped and every time I hear a story I think it might happen to me. I know it's really bad and my boyfriend doesn't like that I am negative so he motivates me to think positive and every time that I say something negative he just says "no baby, please don't say that because you know i love you, and if we ever do get married i'll be the happiest guy ever, but if we dont, everyday i was with you were the best days of my life." and righ there I just turn :D :D :D :D :D and very ++++++.

And now when I think about it, I say, he's the one who makes me so happy and he is the one who always gets me up when I'm down, and he is the one who makes me positive when I'm negative and then I think... "what if i loose that?"

& everything's always been fine, some of you might think I'm overreacting but what I'm trying to ask is, if there is any way you might know why I'm so negative or what I should do to not think negative.

Both of us also do well in school, we're great students and we always help each other out in anything. When I'm with him I'm mostly positive also. Sometimes I think I'm forcing him away. I actually had another post "Am i forcing him away?" to see what some of you thought. And most of them were positive answers I'm just overreacting but ayy... why am I so negative? I hate it, like A LOT! I distract myself by doing my hw and reading people's problems on here or watching T.V or playing with my doggies<3

But still most of the time I do that, I still think about negative things happening with me and him or getting a bad grade on something etc.

:/

De4rest · Mar 3, 2009, 05:47 PM

You have to face your fear and don't think too much. I mean, you are doing well at school, stop thinking what if you get bad grade etc. When you start thinking this way, distract yourself. Change the way you think by saying positive things, you have to keep on trying until you succeed. Don't give up, I know it's hard but it's possible. Surround yourself with positive people, it will help you too =)

Ana52408 · Mar 3, 2009, 05:49 PM

Lol sorry for saying you know so much hehe

UnluckyDucky · Mar 3, 2009, 06:46 PM

You're 15 right? While its normal to sometimes feel occasional feelings of worry over things, don't let it get to you. You should be enjoying life and having fun at that age! :)

De4rest is right, you can help avoid negativity by thinking positively. In addition to saying positive things to change your thinking, try changing how you look at a situation to see the positives that do exist there. Take for example you go and buy a bag of candy. You start eating it and find that you're halfway through the bag already! :eek: Well, instead of looking at it as having only half a bag candy left, think of it as "Awesome! I've still got all this candy left! Hoooot!" :D

So, saying start by telling yourself this:

"I have an awesome boyfriend, I'm doing great in school, and I have all these cool people here at AskMeHelpDesk to talk to too (sorry couldn't resist), I'm quite lucky!" :p

chuff · Mar 3, 2009, 07:00 PM

You are 15 if I recall correctly. You have no business talking about marriage.

As for the negative thoughts, when they come up turn them around for your benefit. If you think, "he might leave me" turn it around and say, "What a fool he would be to leave me, only then will he realize what he gave up." If you think "If he leaves I'll be alone" think "I have 55543 friends" If you think "Why am I negative" think "My brain does a great job of trying to protect me, but this situation is a overreaction."

Ana52408 · Mar 3, 2009, 07:17 PM

True that chuff, and it's just the future you know, it's not like he already got down on one knee. It doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother him. We enjoy talking about everything with each other, were both really open with one another, he's my best friend/ boyfriend. Were also very comfty with each other so that is one thing we both love in our relationship<3

chuff · Mar 3, 2009, 07:38 PM

Ana, a relationship is NOT your whole life. It is a part of your life. You are young and are experiencing feelings for the first time and with that comes confusing thoughts. But all I can tell you is, focus on yourself, not him. I know that sounds backwards, but you will have a relationship with one person for the rest of your life, and that person is you. If this guy leaves your life, you still have yourself, and I'm here to tell you that is beyond good enough. If he can't see that, I feel bad for him. It's okay to love him, but never give him so much that you leave yourself empty.

Ana52408 · Mar 3, 2009, 07:42 PM

I don't, I promise, but I do care a lot and I can't help it. I'm totally against "you can't fall in love at this age" because really, if I didn't know what love was then how can I love my mom, dad, my animals, my friends, I love my boyfriend. You are right. I always put myself first. Well, for me it's first god, then me, then me, and then me, and then there goes the rest. But don't worry chuff, you're getting your point across my mind.

hollie1988 · Apr 9, 2009, 07:36 PM

Try not to think about the bad side because its not healthy for anything
It sounds like to me you have something deep inside of you that is bothering you and you seem like you can't find a way to get it out
I have been hurt before in my past relationships and it has destoryed me

Trust me I'm the same way

Ana52408 · Apr 9, 2009, 07:39 PM

Exactly I used to think so negative and wow that has changed!! My boyfriend made me a lot more positive and heyactivities too! But I know I can't think like that, I just feel so unlucky always trust me its horrible. Im not really one of those girls that always wins everything or gets picked for things or something like that I'm always unlucky for those things so that's what made me so negative!

hollie1988 · Apr 9, 2009, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by Ana52408

exactly i used to think soo negative and wow that has changed!!! my boyfriend made me a lot more positive and heyactivities too! but i know i can't think like that, i just feel so unlucky always trust me its horrible. Im not really one of those girls that always wins everything or gets picked for things or something like that im always unlucky for those things so thats what made me so negative!

Yea
I'm in the same position you are right now