[this8384]

Well, I am getting married next week so I would hope me and my fiance would be adopting together, and adoption is going to be a little tough right now because of my past [I messed up my credit] everything IS paid off, but it will remain on my credit history for 5 or so years. I was just looking for different routes to take. I'm not looking to do all of this NOW, but hopefully within the next couple years get situated.

No one is trying to be critical; our apologies if it came off that way. Everyone here is extremely concerned for not just the baby that you'd like in your life, but also yourself.

Understanding or not, arnimal's advice was terrible. Browsing chat rooms is not safe nor is it logical. There have been numerous reports of people who got approved by adoption agencies but either had to wait or couldn't afford to adopt; they decided to "find" a surrogate mother on their own. They empty out their bank accounts buying anything and everything the surrogate could want or need; when it comes time to deliver, the surrogate takes off and the couple is left broke and empty-handed. They have no legal right to the child because biologically, it's not theirs.

Like you pointed out, give yourself a few years to get situated. You can rebuild your credit, show a steady rental history or even homeownership, a strong marriage... all of those will be beneficial in an adoption review. I wish you and your soon-to-be husband the best of luck :)

[ScottGem]

First, your credit situation will have minimal affect on your ability to adopt. If, according to you, you are now out of debt, that should be sufficient, even if your credit rating hsn't recovered. Adoption agencies and parents look more towards the future than the past.

Second, the reason that arnimal's answer was criticized so much was this part of it:

It's addoption without the huge fees and all of the legal documents.

Even if you were to find a surrogate mother through an Internet chtroom (and I don't recommend that), you would still have to go through ll the legl documents. In fact surrogacy tends to be MORE expensive. In a surrogacy contract, you agree to pay all the birth mother's medical bills as well as a fee for the use of her womb.

We pride ourselves on the accuracy of our advice here and arnimal's advice was not good advice for you.

Your best bet is to start talking to adoption agencies now. It may tke several years for you to be approved and baby to be available. But you are young and have the time.